The Misanthropic Misadventures of an Idealist

usurper of my reality

2008-09-30T15:14:00.003+10:00

One of the reasons for my very long overdue update posting, is because of the advent of the return of the many, many shows after the very, very long hiatus. I miss them all. You name it, I probably am downloading them right now.

My two new favourite shows are 'Greek' and 'Entourage', which both are awesome in their own rights. But more importantly, it is the return of 'Gossip Girl' (XOXO!), 'Heroes' (Milo!), the CSI franchises (Grissom!), 'House' (Hugh Laurie!), and 'Supernatural' (El Deano and Darling Sammy!) that have me reeling from excitement and being all preoccupied by the too many shows bombarding me almost every day of the week now. Who doesn't love some drama, comedy, and scary sci fi looking stuff every week now, eh? TV is looking good this season around. There are other shows that I am keeping up to date with, like 'Prison Break', 'Monk', and 'Dexter'. And then some.

Anyways, things are floating around. Happenings, goings-on and stuff. I'm much too lazy and tired to recap them from the deep recesses of my ~~brian~~ brain so I'm just going to extol some shallow fangirling type writing to keep things light since I've already started the ball rolling about my fave shows this season.

OMFG GG XOXO!! I love, love the second season of 'Gossip Girl'! How much do you love their clothes, their cattiness and the sheer awesomeness that is GG? It's so over the top but you can't help but salivate over the insaneness and suck up all the craziness of it all. Half the things that they do don't even fathom in reality simply because underage kids for example can't just get a drink in a bar so easily in NYC. I don't care how rich they are, you just can't do that! In any case, then there's also the lavishness of their clothes, bags, heels, and hair which don't make any sense in a private school no matter how lax the dress code is. But I guess a girl has to make do with what little leeway that they can get out of making their uniform as ~~slutty~~ ~~perverted~~ individual as they are able to without being told to go home and change. And that without even mentioning yet the mad dramaness that these kids go through on a daily basis, from slutty blackmailing MILFs, an evil genius plotting a Queen Bee overthrow, and playing truant with fashion houses to sleeping around with toy boys and a stepson.

Dun dun dun, then there's 'Heroes'. The first episode of the new season doesn't seem to be as suspenseful and tight as they could have made it but nevertheless I am still going to be watching the show as closely as I can, only because of the hotness that is Milo and Weevil from 'Veronica Mars' making an appearance. Wee!

And of course, not forgetting my other love child, 'Supernatural'. God, it's been way too long Dean and Sam. You can't put down a Winchester kid for too long before an angel comes and pluck them out of the burning inferno down there. I can't believe it's taken them four seasons to finally come around to dealing with the concept of angels and God and the Devil. I can't wait for the supposed Apocalypse to come at the end of the season and see what happens to the kiddos and the world.

Okay, I think I've rattled off for way too long already. Time to get back to sucky reality where the pretty clothes are way too expensive, I don't get to fight evil bad guys who cut off the top of your head to look into your brain or black smoky demons who inhabit innocent peoples' bodies, and I don't live in West Hollywood or NYC to check out the fancy schmancy celebs at the local Coffee Bean or hip Greenwich Village.

voyeuristic living

2008-08-23T19:23:00.002+10:00

So most people in the known Christian world would probably already heard of this story being repeated and told all over by now. If you don't know, just google 'Michael Guglielmucci' to find out more. But to just recap a bit, I pretty much speak for most of us that we are all just disappointed, angry and pissed off that such a thing like this could happen.

Me personally, it's just a huge disappointment. It amazes me how anyone, no less a leader of a huge Christian church, could do such a thing to supposedly fool his family and everyone around him that he was suffering from cancer but just a few days ago confessed that it was all a ruse.

This is one of those things that is going to be talked about for years to come now. Non-churched people will have smugs on their faces and I don't blame them. If I was on the other side of the fence, I would probably be laughing and mocking the God followers for their faith and where it has got them so far. This only allows for more shaky ground to develop that Christian people are all money suckers and nothing more. People of this faith will have their foundation rocked and questioned as to why and how someone like Michael would even orchestrate such a thing like this.

Guglielmucci was the one who composed and wrote the song "Healer" in his "time of dying" which is really a great and inspirational song. I think it is an awesome song, no doubt, but I don't think this song is going to be played during future services for a while now as it's going to be akin to opening up fresh and old healing wounds. I don't think I can listen to this song with the same feeling and emotions as previously but with time I believe that we can take away from the song with a positive message and not feel like such a jackass because of what's happening to the song writer.

According to the news around, most churches all over Australia will be reading Michael's statement regarding the hoax he's played everyone for almost two years now. I really don't know what to make of all of this yet but hopefully the aftermath of this won't be as bad as I feel it's going to be.

I feel sorry for him and his family who has to go through all of this so personally and being scrutinised now for every move they're going to make regarding the handling of this circus act. I can only think that what with Michael being put on the pedestal because he is a leader and because he wrote such an inspirational song, the crucifying of him will be most brutal and painful in the worst possible way. I can only empathise for his current situation and yes, I will be praying that he gets help, which he is supposingly doing, and that this does not affect the Christian faith too much as it is already. It will take time to heal from this as it feels almost like being told that the next Harry Potter film won't be coming out this year. Oh, wait, that's already been done. Damn it. Okay, maybe more like being told Christmas is not coming this year, except about ten times more hurtful.

Posting this video of 'Healer' is not a spiteful thing but more like a healing process. I don't want to associate this song with Michael's fake cancer but more with the powerful message within it that it is supposed to be and hopefully will be for future years to come.

outside in looking glass

2008-08-19T10:30:00.006+10:00

When was the last time I actually talked about anything else that didn't involve the topic of me, myself and I? I mean well, since this is my blog, I suppose it's natural and a given that the main subject of this blog would be ME. I don't even like talking about myself outside of this blog with friends, family or a stranger. But here, I can blab on and on about anything and almost everything that involves myself in it even though someone might get hurt from reading this. Not that I've intentionally wanted to hurt anyone with my writing which I really hope I did not and will not do at all.

Anyways, the point is, I guess I'm just tired and bored of simply replaying my life in slow motion and put in writing when some remotely interesting and sometimes exciting event happens in my life. I want to return to my previous life of blogging where I can simply talk freely about anything and everything that didn't necessarily involve ME in the picture. It is definitely a hard thing to do and keep up, I can witness to that, but it's worth a try, eh?

Last night's prayer and worship meeting at my local church was a good one. For the special reason that it was the last meeting of the course thing that I have been attending weekly since four weeks ago. It recapped all the things we have learned and applied to our lives of what worship really is, was, and should be. I guess I still have a lot to learn about attempting to live a (w)ho(l)ly virtuous life. It's definitely a learning and ongoing process even for the senior pastor who's half a century old already but still look about ten years younger than other people his age.

It definitely can be stressing and awkward to explain to people of why I go to church, why I serve in church, and what I do for the life of the church so willingly even when I really don't have to. I try to keep it simple that I just figured that I could help out in some area of it and along the way make some cool new friends whom I would never have had the pleasure of talking to if I just simply attended Sunday morning service every week like it was a ritualistic event. It's a very organic experience, if you want to put it that way, as in that you grow as the people and the church grows.

It's taken a long time to get to this point in my life where I can comfortably say that I follow God and not a religion. To understand that it is not Christianity, the religion, that I subscribe to, but it is about having a relationship with God that is what we all strive for. Identifying oneself as a Christian is a straightforward and nonsensical way of telling others the fact that you have a relationship with Him and that you can then explain to people that way. Frankly, there are Christians out there that terrify the hell out of me with their ritualistic, superiority attitude and condemnation of everyone who doesn't read the bible.

I confess that I was one of those lacklustre followers of God that didn't attend church or read the bible but would admit that I was a Christian albeit not a very good one if someone should ask. There would be that moment of hesitation to explain why I didn't attend service regularly and of why I was one even. In all honesty, I didn't understand it myself either and I would just go along with it that I was born into a Christian family but that we just weren't very strong in maintaining that relationship with Him. It doesn't mean that we lost our faith, it's just that we the spectating Christians who look and listen but do not do.

Alright, see how this has become another boring post of ME. Pfft. Maybe I just can't ever escape this cycle. It is MY blog and if I actually started writing about other people and stories and events, it will just turn itself on me about what I think and I should do about it. It's oxymoronic that I should even want to attempt to do anything but write about what I know because that is all I know and should write about.

With that said, my life of course doesn't revolve around the church. I do do other things and meet other people and want to explore new things every day. Attempting to strengthen possible future relationships and obtaining new skills are the only vague outlook of my life that I can share right now. So run off and do something unorthodox in your life now and maybe you might discover some sort of revelation that you never thought even existed.

darkly daring drama

2008-07-28T11:26:00.007+10:00

I would assume that most people would have gone out and watch this little movie called 'The Dark Knight' by now already. Like so many others, there would be millions of blog posts out there discussing the movie, its thought provoking struggles, the actors' performances, and the direction of the film. I might or might not talk about them here. There will be spoilers throughout so take heed. Or not.

One of my favourite scenes in the whole movie was actually the "disappearing pencil trick" scene that the Joker did in the beginning of the movie. I almost let out a tiny shriek but managed to keep it in for the sake of the packed theater. It was definitely one of those moments where you don't know whether to laugh or cry or scream, so you nervously snicker and smile but think at the back of your head that that was just so disturbing you actually laughed. From that moment on, you knew that TDK was not going to be just another Batman movie. It's not even just another superhero film. I can sing all the praises in the world for this movie but I think the rest of the world has already done that. It goes beyond of what you would expect from a superhero movie and creates another class of it that enters the epic and classic and reinvents our usual perception of the loud, blasse, empty, and air popped popcorn filled categories of superhero films. I definitely want to watch it again in an IMAX theater to savour the whole experience again.

I loved almost every moment in the movie. Except for those with the Rachel character in them. I actually found out that she was going to die before I watched the movie so I didn't really care and I still don't. She was a waste of script and film eating into the other main characters' screen time. I never knew what to expect from every scene to the next which kept me excited, intrigued, and riveted throughout most of the time. I say most of the time, because at two and a half hours, I think it might have been a little too drawn out and could have cut down a bit more of the melodrama played out specifically by the Rachel person. I may be biased but I really did not enjoy those Rachel moments at all. All I was there for was Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart, whom were all awesome in their own way. Christian looked hot as usual, both in and out of the Bat suit and subtly brilliant, Heath owned the Joker and became the Joker that that was not even Heath anymore but the Joker, and Aaron was wonderful in orchestrating the degeneration of Dent to Two Face seamlessly. Gary Oldman also deserves praise for playing a great character so well. He is Jim Gordon and I can't see anyone else be Gordon anymore in possible future Batman movies. It was quite creepy to watch Heath Ledger's last performance on screen with him being not in this world anymore and I can definitely understand why so many have loved him and really Heath made TDK. Heath made every scene he was in his, and delivered on such promise that it's a crying shame that we cannot see him anymore except on screen.

The story was told really well that it was not bogged down by the craziness of the Joker's antics or the insane goings-on with the Batman trying to keep the city together while it's tearing itself apart with crime. The action sequences were really quite awesome and amazingly well executed. The Nolan team totally reinvented the Batman movies and created two movies worthy of being the equivalent of what the comics and animated shows have portrayed Batman to be so far. Dark, moody, dangerous, and simply stunning all the way. I would love to watch a third movie be realized but the question of whether the Joker will return is so up in the air, it's scary. The ending left open a good storyline to take place next so that would be very interesting as to who the villain would be to terrorise Batman next. There's really no one that could take Ledger's performance and improve anymore on that. It's totally unfathomable to me. But that's just me. As long as the Nolan team are in the next Batman movie, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.

feet first

2008-07-22T16:28:00.003+10:00

I am Jill's obsessive compulsive disorder.

"When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep and you're never really awake."

It's been almost a week since I first watched 'Fight Club'. The movie is on right now for the sixth time as I'm writing this. I don't know how long this compulsion might last but while it does, I should try to convey my thoughts and feelings about this film and its apparently nihilistic ideals before it goes away and I have nothing left to make of it.

If you're wondering why I'm writing in an odd form of the third person, I suggest you just run with it because only those who've watched the movie will understand the significance of it. I hope that's enough to intrigue you already to get the DVD. I can't guarantee that this will be a spoiler free zone so read at your own risk. Like I don't have to tell you that already.

Before I go further, I would like to once again heap praises upon Edward Norton's and Brad Pitt's performances in this movie. Like I said in my previous post, I can't get enough of Edward and especially his brilliant portrayal of the melancholic and complicated narrator as he goes on a downward spiral journey of self destruction and enlightenment. Norton as the narrator is convincingly depressed, confused, sardonic and quite hilarious at times throughout the movie. Norton and Brad make one of the best on screen pair I've seen in a long time. They play each other off so well, that when the twist ending is revealed, it seems too unbelievable and yet we stay with it because it's too good to be true.

I am Jill's complete lack of absolution.

"If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?"

There are some times in my life that I feel and act like a slightly different person than who I really am. No one really is the wiser but sometimes there are some deviations from the norm and they pick up the little nuances. I don't totally change my mannerisms or language or personality, it's just that I would on some days be nicer or nastier than I would on other days. People change and mature over time and not simply overnight. That would just be insane, now won't it.

Could a person deliberately do something so drastic just to change their life? I don't know if I could purposefully destroy all my worldly possessions, give up my comfortable life, just to realign my perspective on life and open my eyes to what I've been hiding myself from the whole time. If you talk to yourself, does that mean you're a crazy person and just trying to live vicariously through another personality and person to escape the rudimentary. To go against the grain of what the media and the commercial has us believe what we would want to be and do and let the pieces of what remained in your life fall into place on its own, is what 'Fight Club' subscribes to. I don't wholeheartedly agree with the nihilistic opinions and dilapidated states of the characters' lives but it definitely is something to opine over and ponder its deeper meanings.

I had a very strange dream last night which ended with me waking up in the middle of the night with a cold sweat and my heart racing. It was like my brain was pumping acid through out my body and all I could do was lay there and try to calm down this sudden panic attack. I don't know why such a strange sensation was induced or even what I had dreamed to maybe cause it. The good news, is that I managed to go back to sleep after only five minutes of it. Nevertheless, it is very disturbing but it could have resulted from having watched 'Fight Club' a bit too many times.

I am Jill's eyes wide open.

"On a long enough time-line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero."

Watching this movie is not going to save your life. Nor will it change, alter, enlighten or make a 180 degrees turn on your own self worth, motivations, perceptions on life, and esteem issues. In all probabilities, it won't change a thing that you might see in yourself, your life and in others as well. When you wake up, nothing would have changed. Your problems wouldn't be solved and you will have to go through the same routine again. If it does, then good on you. But for the most highly and likely of outcomes, watching this film could just simply blow your mind and allow you think a little bit more than you did the day before.

Preaching ideals and thought processes about what you should think or not think, is and never has been my strong forte nor do I want it to be. But once in a while, I like to think that I can influence others' in their perceptions and outlook on life and all that it has to offer through a carefully composed essay. Nothing would have changed with the end of this essay. I would like to think that I have changed my life just that little bit with this composition but in all likelihood, that's not going to happen.

A movie is still a movie. And your life is your life. Despite trying not to think too much about what you want to do, how about actually doing it? I should speak. But what I can is do.

the films you want to watch

2008-07-20T15:29:00.019+10:00

Including the food you want to eat, but I'll save that for another time.

I've been on an Edward Norton films kick lately. They're all pretty old movies except for 'The Incredible Hulk' but I've watched 'Fight Club', ''American History X', and '25th Hour' in the last two days excluding 'Hulk' which was about three weeks ago.

Actually it kinda all started with 'Hulk' and then it went on to 'Fight Club' which I absolutely loved and cannot believe I missed out on watching such an awesome movie for so long until now. Ed Norton is unbelievable in his character and Brad Pitt's performance was simply riveting. I've already watched it almost half a dozen times already since last week and I can go on about this movie forever but I won't since it's Edward Norton and his movies that I wanted to concentrate on.

There are of course other movies like 'Death to Smoochy', 'The Italian Job', and 'The Illusionist' which are really good. I would really like to watch 'Primal Fear' which was Ed's breakout role and allowed him to do all the other great movies that followed. All of his performances so far have been nothing short of amazing and just so mesmerizing to witness. I've loved all of his movies that I've seen so far and aching to watch more of his older ones.

I've been an Ed Norton fan for a very long time already, way before Milo V., all the three Hughs that I go ape for, Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. He has always been the shiny actor's actor that I wished all actors could be. I think he was my first celebrity crush. Or maybe that title belongs to Johnny Depp.

Anyways, the point is that all his movies (or at least 90% of the time) have always surprised, intrigued, inspired and awed me. He has this aura of those smart, witty and charismatic people that they carry with them, which naturally attracts other people to them without you realizing it. He has managed to act in such a wide range of characters from a reformed Neo-Nazi skinhead, a DPD affected white collar worker, a children's show animal host, an illusionist, a Brit doctor, a green hulking superhero and a troubled cop including many others more in his wide ranging career thus far.

I never tire of watching him on screen and really don't care that other people can't understand why or how I can come to be a fan of this enigmatic man. I'm sure Ed Norton fans all over will concur.

There have always been actors and celebrity people who walk in and out of a person's obsessive compulsive life (or maybe that just applies to me). But Edward's status has never wavered and I am a firm fan and supporter of his works and whatever he does in his life. Most people know about his strict privacy life and really nothing much is known about what he does, what he eats, who he dates, which music he listens to, who he dislikes or likes. In spite of all the crazy and insane celebrity goings-on that can consume actors, he's always managed to maintain a level head and remain cool and calm.

I don't know how he really deals with all the craziness that must sometimes take a toll on him but I really admire his guts in not falling into the whole celebrity business shit end of the stick. He has a new movie out later this year called 'Pride and Glory' which he co-stars with Colin Farrell and I must watch it. I know nothing about the movie except that Ed is in it and that is all I ever need to know about any film that has him in it.

Watch out for my dissertation on 'Fight Club' coming to a blog post near you. Very soon hopefully.

pulling teeth

2008-06-29T19:36:00.003+10:00

That's what I feel blogging has turned into in my current situation. Pulling teeth or molars or bicuspids.

I do have some ideas floating and germinating in my head sometimes and when I get to my Mac to try and write a complete sentence, they float right out of my brain. So, I just don't bother anymore.

Latest obsessions include A. J. Buckley or Adam Ross as he is more well known from CSI: New York as that geeky and awkward lab technician, and Gordon Ramsay known for his colourful language and oddly charming allure despite what others have to say about his anger management techniques. Since all TV shows have ended their season run and we're up for quite a dry spell this winter or summer in other parts of the world, I've been watching CSI: NY reruns of all the episodes that he was in and also that episode in Entourage where he was such an ass boyfriend but I still love him. The last episode of this season's Hell's Kitchen is finally coming to an end. The only reason I actually watch that show is to see Ramsay shout and mouth off at the poor chefs who have to bear with him and try not to cry in front of him because I sure as hell would if I was being screamed at and verbally abused like that.

A.J. reminds me sometimes of this guy I know from church. He's funny, slightly awkward in his mannerisms but makes it dorky cute, has a unique sense of style and really not someone you would see on the street and immediately think that he would be a church goer kind of guy. Heck, they even sort of look alike in a scruffy kind of way. I wish I could get to talk to him more and aided by the fact that only once a week I may get a chance to see him does not help. I need my A.J. fix to compensate over this crushing and till I see him again.

I want to meet Ramsay in Melbourne if that's ever going to happen. I really got to remember to let him sign my Gordon Ramsay cook book if I do ever, ever, really get to even remotely get close to him. I act like a giggly school girl whenever I talk about him. Hopefully he does do that reality TV show gig about opening a restaurant here in Melbourne and maybe, just possibly, ordinary giggle school girls like me will get a slim chance of seeing him.

I've been getting some freebies lately from very generous friends and I am a happy camper. Yay. A giant glass fruit bowl, a wok and a detachable spring foam pan, are probably the things that would have surprised me years ago if you told me I would be happy with glee for getting those items for free. I can't wait to try the pan to bake a cake and not have to struggle with getting them out neatly and without breaking the whole thing apart in the process.

Pfft. I just got back from watching Rove and I wanna watch Hancock now. And Dark Knight. And Mama Mia too.

afternoon delight

2008-05-05T21:13:00.003+10:00

Just some general updates to get the niceties out of the way. I got my MacBook back unscathed and working fine, still guiltily and sadly unemployed, still baking and cooking like an old grandmum, visiting the gym almost every day, and trying to find various ways to spend my endless spare time.

So today's afternoon was a very pleasant change from the norm.

Neil Gaiman is in Melbourne for a few days for some book signings and other events for those influential artists and authors type people. A few of us managed to book some seats at his free talk and book signing event that was held at the State Library of Victoria. It was quite a cozy hall and he read a bit from the yet to be released children's book 'The Graveyard Book'. I need to remind myself to get it when it's apparently going to be released in Australia sometime near Halloween which is very appropriate timing.

I regretted not taking pictures when he was reading but I didn't want to spoil the moment when the audience, which ranged from uni students to funky late twenties adults and more mature enthusiasts, was listening intently and attentively to Mr. Gaiman. After the reading, which he read from this beautiful manuscript with original illustrations that was displayed during the signing where we got to flip through it as well, was the Q & A session. It went quite alright and I never really thought of him as a quite humorous and witty person before today when he replied to some people dead-panned-ly but actually very funny manner and others with obscured curiosity, which got us all laughing, especially when the topic got to his children, in particulate Maddy.

Soon after, was what all us people were there for; the book signing. Fans brought their favourite dog-eared, chewed up and battered Gaiman books, some their entire collection of The Sandman graphic novels, CDs and DVDs. After waiting in line for almost an hour since the signing started, my friend and I finally got to our turn. He was really polite and obligatory, not only for taking the time to carefully sign every single person's item personally; he doodled on my friend's 'American Gods' and 'Neverwhere', he actually paused and posed for two seconds to smile for the camera with me. In addition to signing my 'Anansi Boys' novel of course.

Let me just make it clear that he didn't do it for anyone else before my turn. Friends would take their friend's pictures with him signing but he didn't stop to take a proper photo like he did with me. I feel special. In a quite off-putting and arrogant way I know. But I need to gloat sometimes. My friend who took the photo apologizes for the blurness of the photo but you can clearly see him looking at the camera. I think he's probably one of the nicer, if not nicest, writer in person and when he blogs which is quite often and is very popular. I know I haven't been to many book signings as the only other book signing I've been to was Jeffrey Archer's one at Borders recently which was quite uneventful to say the least because I wanted to get a book for my mum who is quite a reader of his books. His signings went quite fast and though there weren't many people there, he talked for a bit only with the stragglers who bothered to stay and talk with him.

This is not a Jeff Archer bashing alright, I'm just trying to make a comparison between these two authors. I just think that Neil is more relatable and personable when he meets his fans. Hopefully this second visit for him won't be his last. For now, I will enjoy 'Anansi' and drift off into his unique imagination that can only be Neil's.

hitch-hiking

2008-04-15T23:27:00.003+10:00

Boo.

My Macbook's out of commission due to some odd spoiled backlight which caused the screen to seem really dark like it's got the dim light on really low. It's going to be about a week or even more before I get my poor aging Macbook back and for the time being I'm having to resort to using my brother's notebook.

So how's everyone going? I just started on Ken Follet's quite old book called 'The Pillars of the Earth' which is a really thick book and long story about building a cathedral. Yes, a cathedral. Those great and really, really old buildings in Rome and London and around Europe.

Oh, I've also joined a gym. Fitness First. Yes, I am such a whore. I even got a few sessions with a personal trainer. Wow, that sounds so much better than actually getting to do it because he does not let me go that easily. Twice already my body hurt the day after even with just half an hour with the trainer. I think it's just my body being its slumpy and lethargic self.

Anyway, this is just a way for me vent my frustration of not being connected to the webby as much as I'd like to. And not being able to watch those shows I really want to instead of being stuck with the TV most nights watching Biggest Loser Australia and CSI reruns.

I really want to get to watch a live Rove show too in the future. Hmm. Maybe I'm acclimatising too easily and too much with Aussie programs these few days.

I want to watch Street Kings only because there's Keanu Reeves and Hugh Laurie to ogle and swoon over.

Yeah, this is going to be random thoughts post where anything that come swimming into my mind will be put down here.

Oh and how hot does Gordon Ramsay sound speaking French on Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares? Damn, this is just too strange a feeling.

Anyway, I've been getting strangely tired earlier and more easily these few days for whatever reason. Oh and 'Will and Grace' is awesome. I heart Will most definitely.

marooned on an island

2008-03-31T10:51:00.010+11:00

Another month long MIA/sabbatical/return-from-the-dead post from this here li'l blog o' mine. Sigh. Really there's just not been anything much going on that I can purposefully blog about. Though some would argue that anything would be worth blogging about even if it's just something as it would be better than nothing. I'm just doing my obligated duty to keep this site floating amidst an almost dead site from drowning deeper into oblivion.

Anywhos. The real reason I'm here today at the end of the month, not only to resuscitate my blog, but for an actual, purposeful and real reason.

Last night Maroon 5 descended upon Melbourne at the Rod Laver Arena for their live concert of their world tour. Yes, those same dudes that brought you funky love ballads and addictive sounding songs a few years ago and who are now back.

Truthfully I really found their latest album better than their last one even though some people may beg to differ. There is a definite different feel and more mature tone to the album and their sound just feels like they've grown up since their first album. The songs sound a lot better and the lyrics are just spot on especially when you have someone like Adam Levine on vocals to carry the words.

So we arrived at the show, (V and I), slightly later than we had intended to because of the freaking trams being packed with Maroon 5 fans that not even a size 0 model could have squeezed herself into. Nonetheless, after almost twenty minutes waiting, which we could have gotten there faster on foot if we didn't wait, we managed to arrive there among the throngs of people already amped and ready to see M5.

We barely made it to catch the last two or three songs performed by Brandi Carlile who was one of the two opening acts. She had a really good voice but I think everyone was just really more interested and invested into when Maroon 5 was going to come on stage and not really focused on her performance albeit a really good one, I'm sure.

The next opening act was OneRepublic. Yeah, those other dudes who crooned 'Apologize' and 'Stop and Stare' that have been played to death on radio. They were quite intense and the main vocalist seemed like he was channeling Maksim Mrvica when he was on the piano. Awesome performance with the aforementioned two songs which the audience sang along too and just overall great job getting the crowd riled up.

And finally, the main course arrived in the form of the opening song 'Little of your time' which was my favourite song of the night. That song is stuck in my head right now and it was a great upbeat start to their performance. The full set list of songs can be read in this Maroon 5 fan blog and also the other reviews of their performances in Perth and Singapore.

Back to Adam, he was just schmoozing and oozing sex appeal throughout the night and in every song you can see his passion show so intimately. The man was on fire! He more or less stole the show and had the ladies screaming and aching for more Levine love throughout and long after the show was over. His shirt looked quite tight and I kept thinking that he was going to rip it off and toss it to the crowd below at any moment. Alas, it was just wishful thinking.

The camera was almost always focused on him the entire time, not that I'm complaining, and the big screen TVs captured every emotion on his face. The stage was really well done up and the entire stadium was nearly packed to the brim with fans. The lighting effects was really good and beautiful but I can't say too much about the sound system because there were a few instances in certain songs where the music and bass overshadowed Adam's luminescent voice.

Halfway through 'Won't Go Home Without You' Adam had the audience take out our mobiles and wave in the air with the lights dimmed down really low. The effect was really beautiful and serene with everyone just enjoying the moment of being enveloped in the darkness amidst the soft shining glow and Adam's mesmerising voice. That was probably one of the main highlights of the evening aside from his rather cute attempt at stand-up comedy.

Oh, I forgot to mention one crucial thing, which if not for that I wouldn't even be writing this right now. The whole thing actually planned itself out just one week ago. I originally had no intention of going to this show but I managed to stumble onto a pair of tickets on eBay and the lovely lady sold them to me at original cost. Our seats were really quite good as it was near to the floor area but situated on the tiered seats where we basically could see everything from the stage to the back of the stadium. And of course soaking in all the Adam awesomeness as much as we can for 90 AUD tickets each.

Overall, I have to say it was a very enjoyable show even though it was definitely way too short for my liking and would have wished to see them play for another half hour at least because just as we were getting into 'She will be loved' they had to go. We thought that they were going to return but the lights went on and we were basically just went "pfft"! In any case, Maroon 5 is a great live performing band who know how to play to the crowd and get you riveted and excited throughout their show. I would definitely attend another of their shows again but only if they play for a full 2 hours plus at least a three or five songs encore.

A solid 8.8/10. I was on a perpetual high since last night but the feeling's dissipating now enough for me to calmly regale you with this overdue update.

caring is creepy

2008-02-29T20:14:00.005+11:00

This is really a getting to be a sleeper blogger. Me that is. I'm only updating with this very late post at the end of the month because I just want to get in at least one post a month to continue this blog o mine.

Well, lots have happened since the infamous Russel Crowe post which one of my friends won't let me forget. Hmm. My family moved house back in Malaysia (myself included by the way) and it was hectic and tiring and I don't want to do that again for as long as possible as I can put any kind of move off.

Chinese New Year came and went as per usual. Lots of yummy food abound and I gained weight as usual. The jeans feel tighter and I feel fleshier than usual. That doesn't sound as nice as that feels too by the way.

2008's birthday celebration was spent quietly among a small group of friends with a Japanese dinner and then inviting everyone back to the new house for a visit and um some NSFW porno viewing by those friends on my computer which I dare not participate in. That did not sound as dirty and disgusting as I made it sound but I'm trying to put it as bluntly as I can without being overly pretentious.

So then, after about a month long holiday in Malaysia, here I am back again in Melbourne. Still job hunting and in between rest periods, I just lounge around and bore myself almost half to death. Sigh. I never thought I'd miss the prospects of actually going to have to study like I always did before this year. Then again, I'm also trying to psyche myself up to get excited about working even though I've never had a full time desk job before. It will probably feel terrifying at first but I hope I can get through that first interview process for my first job over quite well and do it well too.

It would be a lie if I said that I didn't feel like a total sod and bum for not doing anything real these days but what can I do? Bake and cook, shop, watch TV and write all day? Well three quarters of that is true I suppose but that's beside the point. Oh and I am starting to write again by the way. Just that the pacing of my writing is getting off incredibly slow. Not that I don't have enough time to spend on it though.

Anyway then, I'm starting to feel like Will, a middle aged bachelor, from 'About a Boy' who doesn't do anything at all except watch TV all day and buys things. Gah!

I need to get out of this unemployment rut. Now.

quote me not

2008-01-07T10:51:00.000+11:00

Is it strange that I have this questionable urge to watch Russell Crowe movies now?

It could be explained by recent undertakings of movies such as 3:10 to Yuma, American Gangster and Gladiator in the last three days. All three were good movies, enjoyable, interesting stories and engaging performances by the actors themselves of course. Nevertheless I am in awe as to how I could be drawn to someone more scruffy looking than Aragorn, temperamental as far as anyone knows, and even slightly paunchy and old enough to be my dad. Ew! That's not a pleasant thought.

Anyway, yes why the sudden fascination with him? I have seen his other movies such as Cinderella Man (which I did think was better than Million Dollar Baby), A Beautiful Mind (which I actually slept through most of it), and Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (which I barely got through the first half hour of it before I bored myself to death). So yes, I am confused with myself as to why I would be interested in Russell Crowe after all this time.

I have to admit that he is a good actor, better than most at least. American Gangster was a good movie where only he could have pulled off having a slight paunch and stomach look not sexy but not unsexy too, whatever that means. Compelling story with a conscience. I managed to watch Gladiator on TV that very night as well after watching Gangster that same day. Coincidentally they both starred Russell and was directed by the same person, Ridley Scott. I will admit that he does look hot in a skirt/toga and his performance was really quite good.

3:10 to Yuma was a surprisingly good movie for me because I'm not a western movie type of person. I was only interested in the movie initially because of Christian Bale but Russell really stole the show I believe. The cheeky smile and devil may care attitude really brought the film alive and made it just that bit more interesting than just another cowboys movie.

Speaking of Christian Bale, I can't wait for The Dark Knight to come out this year. It looks really good especially with Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart in the movie as well. Their viral marketing campaign with various websites relating to the movie is fascinating but just a bit over my head on this one. I think I'd just like to wait for the movie and catch it then.

Anyway, this was just a detour to distract myself from having to start packing for Kay El and the new house. I hate packing. I hate the stress that comes with packing. I hate everything about packing. If only there was some magical instrument or robot that could pluck out what I need and pack themselves for me. Sigh.

P.S. : I can't believe I just wrote up an entire post about Russell Crowe, his movies, and almost anything else in between. I am hoping that this is just a phase and I can return to adoring Milo and Taylor again very soon. And writing about serious topics like global warming and unemployment. Guess which one strikes closer to home?

rinsed to repeat

2008-01-03T15:03:00.001+11:00

Man. It's been ages, hasn't it. I am getting to the point where I can't really be stuffed about this whole blogging thing already. But this little baby of mine is already a little over three years old now. That's a long way from those days of old when I babbled on incessantly over my daily rituals, movies I want to watch, the perils of living under your parents' roof and rules, stresses that come with college life, IH, and living and fending for yourself in big ole Melbourne.

Well, I'm still in Melbourne but that's about all that remains the same really. I am a full fledged graduate now and have entered into the ranks of the unemployed. Well partially employed still I suppose but I am still on the lookout for a permanent paying job to support myself now that I got this degree here.

In the meantime, I've been doing all the things that I won't be able to do once I start working. That means more responsibility and work related stresses now instead of the usual tutorials and lectures to endure that are now in the past.

So a new chapter in life begins and of course I'll attempt to record them here as best as I can. It's been a kinda interesting and sometimes rough and patchy times in 2007 and here's to a better and more fulfilling 2008.

In other related boring news, I am half shopped out as most of my allowance and hard earned part time job money went to a brand new pair of red Steve Madden heels, a new pair of strappy Ipanema Gisele Bundchen thongs, two necklaces from Diva for less than ten dollars, some Country Road goodies, and the odd wide waisted belts or two (or three). And a new bag when mom was here. I am absolutely in love with Steve Madden shoes, heels, and almost anything footwear related with that brand ever since I got my first pair of black flatties several months ago in New York. That's Boxing Day in Melbourne for you.

The Melbourne summer is just one word: H. O. T. Really hot. Dry and hot that you do not want to get out of the comforts of air-conditioning at all hot. I can't imagine how I'd be doing when I get back to humid KL. It'll be a different kind of sweat and heat that's for sure.

Oh did I mention that we got an actual TV in the apartment now? It's cool and sleek and keeps the boredom at bay at night and in the afternoon when I've got to chill and get inside out of the sun and heat.

On top of that, I have to admit that I am kinda into getting into Gossip Girl now albeit my previous dispositions and avoiding the show because I hated the one book from the series that I had the misfortune to read that I wanted to gouge my eyes out when I finished it. The TV series actually does a bitchier and dare I say it, a more well rounded interpretation of the spoiled brats Upper East Side New York scene than the author of the book series could ever try to do. It's not uncommon for me to hate a book as much as this but yes the experience of reading that one book was enough to avoid this show until I was so damn bored to have nothing else to watch.

That's all for now. Up next week, I'll be cleaning up the apartment from carpet to counter tops and stove tops before a day of maddening packing and then whisking myself away to KL wonderland.

XOXO

as beginnings come

2007-12-07T18:38:00.001+11:00

I stepped onto the dreaded scale of doom and did not like the number staring back at me even more so than the sight of my own blood being syringed into a tube for HIV testing. All for the sake of getting a clean medical check record to apply for my permanent residency status in jolly ole Melby next year.

Still lots to do and things to get done. Still working hard and pressing on to obtain my legal status to remain here next year and get a job. I have officially passed on over to the partially unemployed ranks moving on from student to almost unemployed if not for my part time job. Will need to be applying for a real permanent job very soon too as I can't be doing this all my life right?

It feels kind of weird not having to partake in the whole uni thing next year again. I know I'm going to miss it though. Love, hate, confusion. It was all part of growing up in that college university years which really are the best years of your life.

Returned from our week long trip down south to Tasmania last weekend and boy did I get burned. Sunburned that is. Quite badly too on my shoulders and arms. This will serve as a reminder to wear sunscreen next time I decided to frolic in the intense UV rays of the Australian sun. Most photos have been uploaded in Flickr so do take a look. It was great fun roaming beaches, bush walking up and down rocky terrains which nearly caused us all to collapse and pass out from hour long hikes, serene river trails and mountain sight seeing, aweing at little furry animals which we then just sort of scared them away when we got too close, a night tour of Port Arthur, Australia's oldest and haunted convict prison, lodging in various cabins in the woods, beach, and finally a city hostel with very dodgy showers, falling asleep during those rides from destination to destinations, smelling of chocolate when emerging from the Hobart Cadbury factory tour, cooking our own meals and finally but not least, delish scallop pies and fresh oysters.

I feel like I should be telling more on what my plans are for the next few weeks and spilling my guts on what this year has been for me but the horrid number on that evil scale has just been eating away at me since. I just bought two packs of bagels as well and I really don't want to waste it even though I know they would probably go to my waist. Damn you blueberry bagels!

My eating habits and diet have really deteriorated far worse than I thought possible. I'm just too lazy to exercise and when I do, I tend to eat a lot more after. That's not supposed to happen but it does to me. Bah. The frustration mounts ever more so.

Perhaps I shall just bury myself in my books and donate my stash of chocolates to the homeless and go on a fruitarian diet. Yes, books, fruits, bread, and some hot Milo to intrude in my life from time to time.

And you think I'd forget about the half naked hotness. Absolutely not. But seeing as how Heroes ended its second season run already, I'm going to need to find some new blood to hunt down, oops, I mean new bod to drool over.

And I'd gladly take underwear male models posing behind glass windows as a consolation prize.

Photo courtesy of Little Jo and her blog. Look at how gleeful she is.

life stills

2007-11-22T15:01:00.000+11:00

Man. I can hardly believe it. It's done. I'm done. With university. With all that crap and shit that I've been harping on about for the longest time already. It's finally over.

And that's when it begins.

It almost feels as if my life is putting on the brakes. Just for a second and then I get shot straight back out again into the real world just when I was getting comfortable in my cozy shell of this miniature world which I had enclosed myself in for the past two weeks when I was sitting for my exams and preparing for them.

Apparently I forgot about the outside world for a while there until I realised that I actually am still employed part time with the Dr. Wood Mind Challenge team in Melbourne. I'm returning to selling KCs and other puzzle games tomorrow at Myer Chadstone for a seven hours pitching our products to kiddies and parents alike. And I'll be doing it again on Saturday as well. That's fourteen hours of sales pitching man. Good golly, that's like XXX AUD in just two days. But I'm gonna be beat by end of Saturday so don't be too happy for me. Yet.

It would be nice to get back into the real world out there after being cooped up for so long. There's that Tasmania trip which I'm leaving for on Monday for six day so that should be good. There's about a million things buzzing in my mind right now but it's too strenuous on me to sort them out all now. My mind feels like it just got submerged in a bath of cold water and its too numb to function properly seeing as how it's still in there.

I wish I'd have captured a snap shot of myself at that moment when I handed in the last (hopefully) exam paper of my university life today. Then add a some tint and Photoshop effects here and there and voila, presto, it's still life as exams can only create.

Anywhos, I really need to take a breather or a nap for a while before I crash all over the place. Will be here if you need me. Not going anywhere for the moment. And neither is my brain.

Oh and in other parts of the world, Happy Thanksgiving Day to those who celebrate the day of roasting a whole turkey with stuffing, pumpkin pie, mashed taters, apple cider, and cranberry sauce. I believe the day is to celebrate the day of giving thanks for the harvest during those olden and medieval days or lore and yodelling and whatnots. After several centuries of desensitizing, it seems to be more of a celebration to eat turkey and gorge on lots of food. Or I could be just a tad bit insensitive to other people's traditions.

What do you think, Mr. Gobble?

Anyway seeing as how I've been posting up quite regularly some yummylicious looking guys, here's the latest boy toy in the growing collection.

The very delectable David Anders.

If you don't already know or refuse to catch up to Heroes, he's just one half of the gorgeous pair of heroes out to save the world, one shirtless bod at a time. Man, I miss my weekly dose of half naked Milo. Damn you, Tim! Bring back Milo!

glory days

2007-11-11T23:02:00.000+11:00

Concentration slowly ebbing away as the seconds wind down to the last of my university laden stress life and work.

The stress has not gotten the better of me yet to fully realise my potential to push myself further than I have ever got to.

I shouldn't say I'm bored but I am. Taxation Law has yet to get my brain cells shifting and moving. Maybe I'm just not cut out for the ATO or any tax office for that matter.

Not just another pretty boy.

Neither is this one.

Yeah this is what I do with my precious studying time. FNL is back in a big way and so was Heroes last week. What am I to do with myself?

And just because.

I heart this dude. Even better when he's shirtless.

My blog is turning into a veritable treasure trove of hot guys with clothes waiting to be torn off them.

Must return to books-sans-pretty-boys-and-hot-shirtless-dudes. I need healing.

it came from the planet zark

2007-11-04T19:26:00.000+11:00

I had a thought while taking a longer than usual shower today.

What happened to my overzealous energy and crazy insane mood swings to push myself to study, which I used to have during my high school days and that one matriculation year of intensive maddeningly difficult periods of brain cracking and head stomping?

I kind of miss those old days of staying up till late studying in my room with the dogs barking sometimes at 2 in the morning or getting up at 4 am to study before the test at 8 in school.

I need to regain that zealousness and insanity of driven kiasu-ness that got me through high school safe and sound.

Hey, at least I came out fine. That's more than I can say for Calvin who barely survived being a kid. At least he had Hobbes around to keep him in and out of trouble. In school and in the big bag world which didn't understand him.

I need that drive again if I am ever going to survive the last grueling semester of my university life.

waiting on a prayer

2007-10-26T23:01:00.000+10:00

Apparently my last semi-depression post got some people really concerned for me and all, which kind of freaked me out but at the same time feel really blessed and glad that you guys care so much to actually say something. I feel quite 'pai-sei' actually to say this but thanks again and I promise to try not to melt down in future but try to spill my guts more.

Anyway, today was my last day of university life! There was no big bang celebration or anything but I guess the sentimental feelings will come out later. Right now I'm too preoccupied with the impending doom of the exams.

I shouldn't even be blogging right now but it's a Friday night and well, studying on Friday nights should be for nerds and geekoids the whole year round.

So that means I should turn into a geekazoid now considering it is my last semester or my last university year of life.

All that is going to be fueling my body, mind and soul for the rest of the month till exams are over will be brunch bars, fast food, lots of snacks, caffeinated coffee, midnight hot Milo (the drink, not the hotness Ventimiglia), bananas, Justin Timberlake, Hillsong, Il Divo, (sane) friends to push me onwards, baking time outs, and lots of prayers to uphold.

I want to declare a hiatus on the blog for a while but I'm afraid that I'll break this promise to myself pretty soon one of those nights that I start to feel my mind go numb.

La dee da.

spirited away

2007-10-14T19:28:00.000+10:00

Feeling drained these past few days. I try to put on a brave face though. It hurts but I still try. Sometimes it gets too exhausting that I just want to cry. But I suck it up and continue with this facade.

I realise I shouldn't. But there's just this pride that I continuously face every day. It's nothing new. It's just me. It frustrates me all the time but I don't know what else I can do about it.

I should talk to someone about it but I don't know how. Don't get me started on how many people I know I can talk to. It's just that there's this invisible veil over me that I have yet to penetrate to allow me to do so.

So maybe my problem isn't so uncommon. I know that too. But sometimes I just want to say, so what? If I give my time to other people so much can't I have just ten minutes to myself some day? But I don't. I can't afford that.

There are some days that I feel tired. Just so tired. It feels like all the energy has been sapped from my body and I want to do nothing but stone in front of the mindless computer and watch a few shows. But nothing comes out of it. I know that too.

I seem to know a lot of things yet I don't.

Just last Thursday, I cried for almost ten minutes. It just happened in the night when I was doing some work and listening to some music in between. Every tear shed was like an ounce of my body being weathered away. It could be the resultant stress for so long that kept on piling up that eventually without warning, my body and soul couldn't take it anymore and decided to let the flood gates open. Blood shot eyes and battered soul, I just decided to call it a night and went to bed the earliest I went to in a long time.

Let the sleep rejuvenate me. Wash over me to prepare for a new dawn.

My body is being stubborn again. My soul wants to want out and reach for someone. I do too.

I just feel so drained. God, please reveal to me a saving grace and let me let out.

missing link

2007-10-08T10:37:00.000+10:00

Unfortunately there won't be any deep and thought provoking or even mildly interesting points and facts of life that I should be ranting on about this morning.

Instead, I'll be stating some very blatantly boring as wheat events and little occurrences that have been going on in my life because that's what we really want to know now, right?

I'll be graduating in about two months time but the effect and gravity of this situation has not fully allowed my brain to comprehend this yet. I'm hopelessly fully unemployed in the future though there is that part time stint I have which I am grateful for and hope something will come off it soon.

I don't know why I've been sort of keeping this in the down low for a while now but for almost a month and a half now, I've been attending church, joining a cell group and doing that whole worship/praise God/upholding prayers. It's not that no one is interested but that I think sometimes just bringing up a sensitive topic like religion no less Christianity is a taboo at this time when we are supposedly very open and embracing differences.

Quite honestly, I am still struggling with becoming and forming myself into what we like to call a "good Christian". I am so far away from even beginning to think of myself a "true Christian" much less a good one.

Nevertheless, after years of denying the fact that I have strayed and blamed it on certain people and consequences, I realize that what I had done was not right and aim to correct that wrong which I have also convinced myself in the past that it wasn't my fault.

It's definitely hard to accept that and took quite a while and some tears to allow me to fully realize that but I think I've got the hang of actually accepting my flaws and not denying them any longer but to do something about them.

Which leads me to how this has sort of affected the way I do things now. It's not changed very much but sort of like it's aligned my priorities a lot better now than I had hoped it would. Considering the doom of exams are just lurking behind that corner, this couldn't have come at a better time.

I don't like admitting the fact that I can be quite closed up sometimes and have difficulty opening up about certain issues but since joining a cell group, I think this has allowed me to improve on that and discover new people and quirks which I never imagined to meet before. Which is a good thing by the way. As you know I don't like mentioning too many names in this here l'il blog o mine but I think you know who you are. If you don't then look and listen more closely.

The last assignment of my natural university going life is to be completed by Thursday and it's worth 6.5% of the total assessment for the subject. That's a bit of an anticlimax. Oh well.

I have classes very soon and hopefully this new journey that I have somehow stumbled upon will take me to places that I can only hope for and of course pray for.

effective immediately

2007-10-05T23:19:00.001+10:00

I really am a lazy arse.

I seriously cannot be stuffed to do any updating on life and stuff like that. It's just way too much work.

But apparently catching up on my favourite weekly TV junky/dramedy/spooky/creepy/funny shows is not.

My priorities are negatively skewed, I know.

To make up for my complete lack of intellectualness that some readers seem to think my blog has become or is, here are some drool worthy shots I found swimming in the web.

Milo is the hotness. Enough said.

When did Texas have such pretty people?

Jared pwn/owns Jensen.

Hugh Laurie is hot. Say what you will.

Alrighty. Now go watch those shows that I've listed on my sidebar. I missed my pretty boys and hotties.

break me down, fix me up

2007-09-21T21:11:00.000+10:00

Blah blah update on life.

To quote a fellow anonymous blogger, "I am so sick of update blogging and am just going to blog whatever the hell I want because it's much more fun."

Just don't take that literally into context because I do sometimes like update blogging but can get tedious definitely.

It's almost a week into the two weeks break already and I've not been very productive though a good piece of news. I have joined the ranks of the student part-timers everywhere!

Yay for $XX per hour for two four-hour shifts! Sorry I don't want to reveal the actual wages they pay me because I think that's quite confidential. What do I do? I sell puzzles and board games created by Mind Challenge and the Dr. Wood company with the Kaleidoscope Classic being their maiden game and the main puzzle game that we're supposed to sell. In all there's eight games that I along with the other Games Consultants (GCs) as we're called, are supposed to pitch our sales lingo too and reel them in. Sounds cheesy and manipulative but it's fun.

So anyway, I'm really happy to get this job actually. It's the first time I really kind of feel accomplished and all and I finally don't have to rely too much on the parents for cash inflow. I won't feel so guilty spending on shopping and teach myself about time management at the same time. Hopefully this won't interfere with my school work too much but I think I just really need to do this even though I think I can foresee myself stressing out some days in the future.

That's why I really need to buck up and get down and dirty with the pile of books that I've barely touched for the past several weeks.

(emo/start)

When was the last time you experienced this gut feeling that you had to do something but there's this other nagging part of you that was trying to put doubt into your thoughts to prevent you from going ahead with this gut feeling?

Do you:

a) Ignore that gut feeling and let that doubt eat you inside out till you convince yourself that you did the right thing.
b) Follow that gut feeling blindly and let the wind take you away like a flower child.
c) Take the plunge and go with the gut feeling but take along a life jacket just in case you can pull out if you went in too deep.
d) Do the accountant and be conservative and stick by the rules.

You can stop trying to decipher where this question applies to in my life right now. I think it just generally applies ubiquitously to every aspect in our lives whether it be jobs, relationships, family, friends, spiritually and even materialistically.

I think I made the right choice.

Did you?

(emo/end)

A bit more update blogging before I log off and continue the slogging of the work and working on my hook-line-and sinker sale pitches for tomorrow's first day of work at Westfield Fountain Gate. I am so not looking forward to the hour long train ride there. The next week's agenda includes a birthday dinner and "surprise" karaoke session and later on a three days and two nights church camp at Philip Island.

I'm getting lazier to bake but I should. Perhaps brownies or chocolate pudding cake or decadent chocolate muffins which everyone and any sane person likes.

killing me softly

2007-09-11T08:49:00.000+10:00

I think my brain is slowly turning to mush. If it hasn't already melted out of my ears that is.

One last test to go and editing an assignment tonight which is due tomorrow. Why am I still here? Go forth and multiply! I mean, procreate. No, wait that's not right.

Gain Knowledge!

yonder calling

2007-09-08T11:49:00.000+10:00

I can't be bothered to post something up so just go over to my cook and bake blog for any updates recently.

My dream blog appears to be rather dead for the longest time so if the Sandman would you please sprinkle some fairy dust over my head and allow me to dream so that I can post something up on that dust gathering blog o' mine. Anything at all would do. Even dreaming myself falling into the arms of the ever so hot and sexy Milo Ventimiglia on 'Heroes' would be more than enough.

Anyway, back to the books and trying to adjust myself to Melbourne's temperamental attitude in transitioning into spring.

slow days, feisty night

2007-08-24T12:18:00.000+10:00

Another week has come to pass and it's time to reflect upon what I accomplished or got done since the last time I blogged. Hmm. Nothing much that I can think of but alas this isn't why I decided to resurrect myself from the blogging undead.

Last night came to pass the 2007 Commerce Students Society Ball. Annually touted as the "must attend" ball in Melbourne University, about twenty of us, boys and girls, decided to splurge for a night of fun and frolick burning a hole worth of $100 in our pockets each. For most of us, this would be our last year in university so we opted to finally get our asses to the CSS Ball which almost every year, there apparently is a long line overnight to camp outside of the ticket room on campus just to reserve the most touted tables and seats. Since the ball is not exclusively for the Commerce faculty students to go to there were other students from other faculties who decided to join in the commercial fun as well.

The ladies

We made it in the end and it was definitely was fun. Chilly outside what with only a scant scarf to keep me warm and strappy dress with heels. The entrance to the dining and ball area greeted us with some Japanese looking drums and people banging on them signaling our arrivals no doubt. There were about 1140 people packed into the hall but it didn't feel crowded at all. The food was alright, nothing to write home about, and the free flow of spirits, beer and wine just amped it up a bit further to get the people to be a bit happier and smiley than usual.

The gents

There was a short performance involving a break dancing slash cheerleading type troupe after the entree dish and before the main dish to start the night off properly. They were really great but the main attraction that people came tonight was to party and party hard we did.

Shiny disco balls

The dance floor started getting streams of people on their feet when it was only 9 pm into the night. There were two bars which were constantly packed with thirsty semi drunk people and those just wanting to get their $100 worth of drinks for the night (including myself). In the end all I got was just two and a half drinks since I don't like beer and the wine was bad. It was the first time I didn't feel high at all or even remotely satisfied. And no I am not turning into a drinker!

Party people! It's Friday night! (Erm, I mean Thursday night.)

The music was quite good with a cool mix of fast paced oldies, R&B, techno and house. The lighting was really good actually and felt just fun to be dancing there without a care in the world surrounded by friends. As per usual at these kind of balls, various people making out in the middle of the dance floor was to be expected and some really odd dance moves being executed as well; some involving faux satin scarves from the chairs.

Dance floor happiness

The ball ended at around 12.30 am and there were buses waiting outside to take us to our next destination where the after party was happening. The club was pretty decent and spacious to cram us all in, notwithstanding the other club goers as well. However, I just didn't feel up to it to dance what with my feet aching and the music being all techno and not very dancey I might add. Some of us were feeling the same as well and so a little after 1.30 am some of us decided to retire for the night after a good night out well spent.

Very happy and smiley people

I noticed several people I vaguely recognise by face but not by name from various tutorials and lectures over the semesters. Ah well, it'd be odd to just go up to vague strangers and say hi to them when you barely know them at all.

Anyway, it's been a great night last, but I think my head is feeling a little light headed now as I didn't manage to get myself to sleep in a little more this morning which I would have liked. I guess I'm just not a very sleep-in kind of person anymore.

just keep sw...im...ming

2007-08-14T20:40:00.000+10:00

BOO!

Really am lazy. Getting lazier every day. To update is hard work.

So in lieu of my laziness, I'm just going to post whatever I have on my mind now.

I attempted baking again a few days ago with rather not so good results. I tried my hand at a cream cheese brownie recipe but I think my pan was too big resulting in a very thin brownie and blackened edges. The chocolate I used contained a bit too much cocoa percentage that I intended the brownie to have which made the brownie tasted a tad bit too bitter and akin to like having espresso powder in it.

Suffice to say, I daren't put up a picture of it because it just looked too horrible. But I am going to go for broke again with a cobbler recipe this weekend using either apples, blueberries, peaches, cherries or maybe a combination of a few fruits.

The assignments and mid semester tests to revise for are piling up more than ever now so there's little time left for leisures like this. I wish.

'The Simpsons Movie' is officially my favourite cliched ridden and most fun movie I've watched in a long time. Probably since 'Hot Fuzz'. The Spider-pig song is one of the catchiest jingle/song in movies since like ever. To me at least.

Here's how I look like as three different versions after 'Simpsonizing' myself; a kid ala Lisa, a guy, and finally how I would actually look like in the Simpsons world.

Anyways staying with the brother is alright I suppose. Been cooking a lot and trying not to spend too much on food outside.

I really want to start focusing my energies on getting job interviews and things like that. Hence, I need to stop going online more often. Bye for now.

none the matters

2007-07-27T08:51:00.000+10:00

Overlooking the city from my full length window in my new room in the new apartment, it's not hard to squint dutifully at the searing sun streaming through the panes and also realize how lucky one can be to be alive this morning.

Okay, enough reflections. Time's up.

So yeah, I've moved out from the old place and into the new now. It's pretty and shiny and swanky and all but perhaps still a bit too pristine and polished for my own personal taste. Anyway the brother and I have pretty much settled in already. Took a while and some sweat and maybe a few too many frustrations thrown back and forth during the process of getting the place to be livable in. But we managed to get it done in the end so yay for us.

The new semester has begun and it's going to be the toughest one for me by far. Five subjects to go before the end of my schooling life if I ever graduate. It's been quite a tough year so far but not too tough that I go crying over it every night. Ups and downs and lots of in betweens.

I've read the last Harry Potter book already and it half met and half disappointed me. It was a pretty good story to be told but the epilogue left quite a lot to be desired. I think I would have been happier if the book had just ended at the last chapter and didn't go into the the sappy epilogue part.

On the other hand, the fifth Harry Potter movie which I disliked the book it was based on, was pretty good. A whole lot better than the book I think because they cut a lot of the unnecessary things that bogged the book down so much and just concentrated on the important bits. Much darker and scarier than the movies previously put together but still a good movie though still a tad bit too long.

The mother is arriving in Melbourne tomorrow morning for a week long break in wintry Melbourne. It's not that cold but I'm still skeptical over the dark skies and rainy gloom that the weather might bring in time.

The New York vacation report is still in the process of being begun to be written but it will be in due time.

Anywhos, nothing much else to report on the um reporting front. Will update if anything interesting comes up soon.

dancing butterflies

2007-07-18T16:46:00.000+10:00

That's what my stomach feels like now. After getting off a 20 hours flight and less sleep than you'd hoped for and still have to endure another day full of packing for the next trip back home, it's difficult not to feel something else. Maybe nausea but I'm trying my best to hold that in for now.

New York was fantastic. Lots of buildings and plenty of sight seeing and photo capturing resulted in maybe wearing myself a bit more than I thought I could have handled. It was sweaty and sweltering most of the time but we got through it like the sheltered troopers that we were.

I really want to talk more about the trip but the time constraints are really holding me back for now. Some interesting and a bit more generic things happened during the adventure we had in the big apple but I'll be saving that for later.

It's time for some more packing and getting myself a bit more organized for the trip back to Melbourne tomorrow before heading off for some Harry Potter magic in the theatres and finally catching some well deserved zzz's.

I'm really going to need those z's to prepare myself for perhaps the most work laden and stress imposed semester on me yet. I'm going to need those lucky rabbit's foot and four leaf clovers now.

more than meets the eye

2007-07-05T02:02:00.000+10:00

Just go watch it. Like seriously. If only to blow your brains away and experience nostalgic reminiscences of your childhood during the 80's.

If only my car could transform into a super cool alien robot too, my fan-girl dream would be complete.

In the words of Optimus Prime,

"Autobots, roll out!"

It's time for New York! In nine hours.

i heart NY

2007-07-03T21:14:00.000+10:00

The city that never sleeps, here I come.

In two days that is.

Almost packed, not yet famous. Filled with anticipation yet there's a knot forming in my stomach over having to spend a grueling many many hours on the plane. Almost 22 hours of being cramped in that tiny seat besides other equally cramped and possibly aggravated Americans and tourists like myself.

Life is good?

Not much else on the reporting front besides more lounging and lazying the days and nights away brain-numbing myself on E! News and the Daily 10.

Umm. I checked my eyes and I don't need new glasses. That's good news.

I'm very into making lists these few days too fueled partially by the whole New York trip. Lists include New York Hot Spots, Touristy NY Places to Hit, Shopping Checklist, Souvenirs and Gifts for People, Things to do before returning to Melbourne, and such and such.

Just to keep my occupied I suppose.

Oh and if only there was a working time machine that I could use to transport the very dashing Al Pacino during his Godfather movie days to present time.

It'll be funny and sad to watch the past Al look at current Al and think,

"Shit, that's what I look like thirty years on! Screw aging!"

If life imitated art. If only.

opening show

2007-06-28T22:54:00.000+10:00

Here's another item to add to the 'You know you're old when' list:

You know you're old when you return to your old high school during the school's Open Day to collect your younger brother's report card in place of your parents'.

I can see the wrinkles in my eyes and haggard looking skin getting gross and rough already. It was so odd not being in the hot seat this time but being with the other rents who are so much more accustomed to staring down their kids and nitpicking at each grade. The closest thing I got to was pretending to be shocked at his History grade. And feinting interest in whatever else his teacher had to say about my brother; his improvements, effort, and behaviour in class.

It was a nightmare just trying to park the car near the school made even worse by the insane heat that the weather threw at us today. I swear I don't think I ever sweat more than I did before today. Or even a pig or a really sticky and sweaty pro wrestler or anybody or anything else that sweats a lot.

Nevertheless I did get through the day without too much incident and stickiness. It was just another ordinary day not worth much blogging about but that I just found the Open Day show thing a bit out of the ordinary for me. Let's just say I don't intend to do it again any time sooner.

finding the words

2007-06-23T23:23:00.000+10:00

Is it possible to like a song too much that one can almost not get sick of it?

Maybe if the song was 'Way back into Love' which was sung by Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore in 'Music and Lyrics'.

Damn the sappy side of me is spilling over and it's because of this movie. I'm pinning the blame on Hugh Grant's cheeky smile and cute ass for this blatant show of affection on my part.

This is the actual performance of the song by Hugh Grant and Haley Bennett as featured in the movie as well.

Essentially the same song and just because I like and can and want to.

I swear, there will be a proper and actual post of me doing something like cutting my hair or going shopping or getting something substantial done soon. Very soon. Hopefully.

home sweat home

2007-06-21T15:38:00.000+10:00

Home never felt so hot. Hot and humid and sticky! I almost wish I was back in Melbourne now being prickly cold and wrapped warmly in jackets and wooly sweaters.

It's only been three days and a half back home and I'm feeling pseudo home sick for Melbourne already. Odd feeling but I do. Able to lounge in the room indulging in pure nothingness, roaming the city walkways and streets people watching without a care in the world, rustling up a quick meal of junky proportions, getting a get together with friends with no strings attached for a night out on the town and sipping on hot chocolate without feeling like you're heating your body up too much as I often feel when I do that here.

But then again there's the cheap shopping opportunities that we don't often get in Melbourne despite the good sales now and then. And food galore that we almost never get to savour despite there being genuine and authentic Malaysian restaurants and all that attempt to suck your purse dry when you can a good meal for that fraction of the price back in the original country of good food and foodies.

Anyway, it does feel nice and comfortably lethargic to be back albeit the insane heat. The USA visa is still under process as I attended the interview yesterday with the results still pending but I am hopeful and confident that I should get my visa approved. Or not it would have been a big waste of time and money to return home instead of spending a well deserved winter break back in Melbourne.

Time to catch up on my slew of movies that I have yet to watch despite my will of saying that I will some time soon.

Happy winter breaking every one who is on break and summer breaking too for those in the other side of the hemisphere.

harry's got a brand new bag

2007-06-18T01:12:00.000+10:00

My room is looking sparser by the minute and hour as I clear my belongings away into boxes while scouring the internet for ways to while away the time as I slowly reflect on my one semester here and that it has gone by way too fast.

But enough of my self reflection load of crap and time for some nonsensical and time wasting YouTubing of various hilarious and potentially insulting videos.

What began as a procrastinating method to not finish the last of my packing resulted in over four hours of YouTube videos watching and laughing.

Rabid Harry Potter fans may find the following quite disturbing and unsurprisingly alarming.

The Simpsons's Treehouse of Horrors Harry Potter spoof

Harry Potter and the Brokeback Goblet

'Potter Puppet Pals' for the not-so-kiddies who take pride in annoying other people and seek attention from the wrong places.

The Harry Potter Intervention

If you ever wanted to know what type of songs the Harry Potter gang might sing if they were on the show, then this is the vid for you. Just follow on from the other links for the continuation of the American Idol Harry Potter night contestants.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Commerce

Disclaimer: I do not take responsibility for any forethought and action that you may have and might take against the creators of the videos and media. I just thought they were funny and deserving of some attention though they warrant more than enough already.

Is anyone excited about the fifth Harry Potter movie and sixth/final Harry Potter book coming out next month?

post stress stress

2007-06-16T01:51:00.002+10:00

Sometimes I think I'd rather face exam stress than going up to the challenge of tackling post exam stress. And those times usually involve stress inducing packing up for home and abroad and also moving house.

Day one involved running around doing various errands which wasn't actually much when I think about it. Started off with accompanying my house mate to do some of the chores before she left for home home in KL. T'was another subdued but sad goodbye but I'll see her soon enough anyway. Just some shopping and inquiring about the possibilities of a new home next semester albeit I came away rather unsuccessfully despite getting a good buy of a pair of Sass & Bide 'Vernon Rakes' for less than 100aud during the current David Jones mid-year sale. Am happy and aim to reach that level of rock star coolness and glamour when the time is right. About 3 kilos lighter time.

The day was followed by more loafing and procrastinating of a different kind where I tried to delay the inevitable for as long as I could before the guilt finally settled in for a mad rush of packing in between online-ing and cooking my own dinner after almost three weeks of SWOTVAC-ing and exams eating out.

Then some hours later a bunch of IH-ers and non-IH-ers pulled me away from the comfort of my heater and off we ventured into the cold mist and fog that is Melbourne currently. We trammed and ambled our way to this cool chic pub slash bar place called Transit situated at Federation Square. It had this ambience of understated vintage cool, jazzy laid back comfort and an air of sophistication with a touch of flair. It was definitely our kind of place for a fun night out and gathering of the people where some if not most have exams done and over with while others just wanted to take some time off from the hectic pace of study.

It is times like these that make me glad that I did manage to tear myself away from the heater to enjoy another type of warmness and chilly feet to get me going and cheeks warming up to the substance called alcohol. There was none for me for the night but a few sips here and there was enough to warm the body. The company was enough for the heart.

Now that I'm back and warm in the comfort of my home for the next few days only though, it is time to get some rest and call it a night well spent and a day well earned.

the last mile

2007-06-15T01:31:00.000+10:00

Neglecting a blog is akin to abandoning a baby but then you feel guilty enough to return to retrieve the baby and relive the thrill of blogging again. Well not so much abandoning a baby but you know the feeling.

Anywhos, I'm back after such a long hiatus. Way too long actually. The last paper of the semester done and done and never looking back to bloody balanced scorecards, hostile takeovers, valuation templates to discount back cash flows, and six weeks of lecture notes on asset pricing theories.

I'm having that recurring feeling again where I know I have a lot that I really want to say and exclaim to the world here but am at a loss for words. Brain clogging up, mind being bogged down by another type of stress that is finding for a new place to move into next semester as I'm moving out from my current abode to reside with the fellow younger brother. More on this to come up shortly. Let the packing up commence.

Then there's the slew of shopping and to do lists to attempt to check off tomorrow afternoon and during the weekend. This is even more confusing than attempting to study for exams. At least when I'm studying I know that there are set topics for me to cover and all but with this everything feels so iffy and unorganised and I feel frankly quite inadequate in dealing with this now. It's like I feel I'm about to leave a lot of things behind and incomplete with hardly any effort taken at all to do all I can.

I think I'm just really sleepy and tired now and when did it get this late? I have a late brunch to have with my soon to be ex-house mate tomorrow when she leaves for home leaving me alone again in this empty apartment which will soon be scattered with my belongings as well and littered with half empty and sealed boxes by the end of the weekend.

Definitely expect more updates to come.

full circle

2007-05-26T11:06:00.000+10:00

I'm in the library blogging on my personal portable computer otherwise known as a MacBook when I really should be studying and not throwing away precious time down the drain like indulging in things like this.

I've reached the end of my second last semester of my uni life. I don't want to talk about it yet I do want to think about it and eschew the lessons I've learned and yet to learn from from experiences so far in my very brief uni life. It's too soon. Everything I love and want to do more is ending way too soon and passing by too fast and quick for me to digest the goings-on of it all.

I've forged new friendships and strengthened old ones. Learned new things that I thought I'd forgotten and lost over the years. Met people whom I wished I'd never met only because I'd hate to say goodbye to them so soon. Am placing myself in fate's hands that I'd meet some of the new ones I'd met over the semester again in future because they really are great people.

Damn I really dislike getting all reminiscent and touchy feely about things like this. Maybe it's because I can be a bit cold at times and distant also but I just don't see the point in pretending you are unless you really are that weepy and soft and have a heart of gold.

Not that I don't do good deeds and all but that's just me.

Readers have reportedly commented that my blog is too difficult for them to understand so in future I will try to make my writing as readable as possible but no guarantees as I like the idea that my writing is incomprehensible so that means it leaves me much room for twisting my words and putting some weird spin on things that only I can understand much to chagrin of others.

So much for trying to be more accessible eh.

My TV-tubing days are coming to a close. At quite possibly could be the most appropriate time as well what with the exams looming over the horizon. 'Heroes', 'Lost', 'Supernatural', and 'C.S.I.' have ended their run of the latest season and half having mind-blowing cliff hangers and leaving us viewers begging for more. Too bad we have to wait till many more moons and months before our insatiable appetites are whetted and filled.

How can I live when such great shows are no longer airing and I'm stuck with crappy and overblown summer blockbuster movies which are tagged with cliches but I still will inevitably watch.

Goodbye sanity, hello world.

000

2007-05-13T01:15:00.000+10:00

A funny thing happened on my way to school today.

Okay fine so it didn't happen on my way to school and it happened tonight and not during the day. But it was kind of funny. In an odd and strangely new kind of way.

The walls separating my apartment unit and the neighbour aren't very thick lest it being sound proof. Halfway through working on my assignment and watching CSI mid way as well the incessant and mind-numbingly annoying techno music was blasting through my walls from the neighbours' unit. It went on for almost an hour when we decided to confront the neighbours.

We banged on the door pretty loudly because we thought that maybe they couldn't hear our knocks. Our efforts was to no avail after all but we persevered. After a few more times of trying to get them to shut down the bloody music and to no success, we decided to make a bold move.

We made an emergency call.

As in to the police. The shiny vehicle roaming the streets to keep them safe kind.

It was a rather unique and interesting experience talking to the person on the phone as they sounded quite amused with our "emergency" and even asked as to what type of music they were playing.

After explaining our situation a few minutes later as luck would have it, the music stopped as the tenant apparently returned home and actually had mistakenly left the radio on blasting for the night when they left the place. Quite a while later on, the police arrived at our place and talked to us for a while about this disturbance of ours.

They were actually quite friendly and found the whole thing rather amusing. I suppose they don't get quite a lot of calls of this nature other than noisy parties and drunkards disturbing the peace of the community. They basically just advised on how to go about this type of situation again should it arise in future and were very nice about the whole thing.

I should have taken a photo with them. Commemoration of a one-off incident which I hope won't happen too soon again.

ails that heal

2007-05-09T15:01:00.000+10:00

Really don't want to do this anymore. Blogging I mean. It's not that I dislike my blog. It's the work that I put into this blog that gets me sometimes. There should be like an automatic blogging software where lazy bloggers like myself can just type in key words, scenarios, dialogue, names, places and a whole post can be instantly generated and after a little tweaks here and there, it can be posted into the world wide wed almost instantaneously.

God that would be nice.

Anyway, places to be, things to do, errands to run, work to be due soon, and plenty of affairs boggling the mind.

The brother was sick today. Really sick. Took him to the university health service clinic this morning and he was prescribed some tablets. I cooked some bland looking fish porridge for him as well but he threw them all up half an hour later just like he did with all the other food he ingested since last night. I don't know if I'm going about this whole surrogate mother thing all right but I'm doing my best for now. Hope he'll get better soon considering it's closing towards the end of the semester.

Speaking of the end of semester, time is definitely passing by too fast. Way too fast. I'm not ready for anything. Literally. Panic. Attack. Commencing. Now.

In other news, life goes along swimmingly. Nonchalantly and unabatedly regardless of whether you're ready for the things that it throws your way or not. All we can do is to face them headlong and headstrong and with perseverance.

Downloading and watching the latest exploits of my favourite telly shows seem to be only escapism I have from reality. Nonetheless most of them are ending soon with Heroes, House, and Lost airing their last few episodes in the following weeks before that void in my TV viewing habit has to be filled.

Myopic as it sounds, I really can't wait for the one month break to arrive even though I know there's a long real life waiting for me ahead. Just as long as I don't come crashing down before that happens first.

cracked glass house

2007-04-30T20:26:00.000+10:00

Beckoning thine seat and recycled paper bound together.
Cajoled by the menace that is providence end.
Alarming it is reality that waken the depths beneath.

The poetic life has long been sapped out of my soul for far too long. I really need to get back into writing considering that the end of my Creative Writing short course is coming to a close soon with a reading and cheese wine session capping off an enjoyable and inspiring course. I've only got through two pages of my supposed "work" to be presented at the end of the course and has not been touched since I began it several weeks ago. I think it was the adrenaline and gusto coming from the beginning of something cool and interesting that got me going more than anything else. Now, it's just moulding in that corner of my desktop and not being worked on. I suck.

I can't believe it's almost May already. Where did all the days and weeks and months go to? Damn woman! Pull yourself together!

What have I accomplished?
Nothing that significant; just some assignments.
Did I achieve my objectives for the semester so far?
Can't think of any of the top of my head yet.
Have I faltered in my morals yet?
No of course not! Heaven forbid!

Life's just been flowing by and I feel like the wind ebbing and floating, being carried by its current and taking me along wherever it goes.

Yeah I'm in a bit of a reflective mood today. Not good. That means my words won't make much sense to anyone reading this. Ah well not that I meant for it to be that way in any case.

Just a piece of exciting news. Well to me at least. If all goes well, I could be heading for the Big Apple, the home to Times Square, Grand Central Station, the Brooklyn Bridge, Radio City Music Hall, Central Park, Trump Towers, Metropolitan Museum of Art, and MTV's TRL, come July.

Yes that's right.

It's New York City! If you haven't guessed it already.

I. Am. Excited.

If you can see the look on my face right now, I'm idiotically grinning from ear to ear. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to return to NYC for another big great bite from the Big Apple (Bad pun I know). I mean other than Japan being the other country that I want to visit again, NYC has got to be the highest one up there on anyone's list of places to visit before they die. The last time I was at the Rockefeller Center in front of that huge ass Christmas tree by the ice lake, I was barely in my teens I think. The whole experience of NYC didn't impress so much then considering I was way too young to appreciate the cultural depths and variety that the city has so much to offer. Now that I'm older, wiser (maybe not that wise), and a lot more experienced to appreciate the finer things in life, the second time round to New York would probably be a lot more enriching and fulfilling to me.

The cousin will be abroad at said city and she WILL have to take me around and explore the inner alleyways (then again maybe not), the little things I would ordinarily miss if I was a gullible tourist trying to do the New York touristy thing and basically just show me around her new found home town.

Did I mention that I can't wait for the 5th of July? It cannot come any sooner.

But for the moment and the rest of the next one and a half months, I'll have to be focusing all my energies and concentration to being a lot more studious and hardworking enough to get through all my subjects this semester. My exam timetable is ridiculous but I am glad that I get to finish earlier than most people. This'll give me hopefully ample time to go home and get my visa approved to allow me to enter the United States of America.

This is one of the worst planned holiday trip I've ever had to embark on yet. My tickets are barely confirmed and or booked and bought. I do not have a confirmed or even moderately tentative place to bunk in during my stay in NYC. And the cousin could be holding down a job then too which leaves very limited time for her to show me around the city.

Great planning. Anyone up for a holiday, just come to me for advice on ensuring the best vacation experience ever!

guilt trotting

2007-04-12T09:58:00.000+10:00

Short post ahead. Guilt trip taking over embodying and compelling me to get off my ass and pick up a book.

Past few days have been spent gym-hopping and running, flight ticket hunting, cooking up a storm using three or four basic ingredients, and not studying as much as I'd like to.

I blame C.S.I. and the Internet for taking me away from my real life and distracting me from what I should be doing.

The Easter break is coming to a close pretty soon. One week is not enough to recover from a half semester full of mind numbing work to cram into that mid semester tests in the next two weeks and a presentation to work on during the weekend.

Living by my lonesome without the housemate does get pretty boring and really quiet when you have no one in close proximity to talk to when you just feel like saying the odd thing and expressing some tension and anger. Not that I get angry often alright.

I guess this just proves that I can't live alone and hopefully never will.

Um, it's getting cold again after several days of warmer than usual days. And it's already autumn or fall whichever part of the world you're from. Coffee mixed with the essence of Milo is my drug. And Boost. Not forgetting Boost of course.

pots and pans

2007-04-07T11:48:00.000+10:00

It is ALIVE!

My new blog that is. In commemoration of my new Jamie Oliver cook book, I've decided to set up a new blog where I can chronicle my cooking journey even though I think I started this about two or three years too late. Head on over to Lick Thy Fingers for my first post on Oyakodon which I made for dinner last night.

I've actually been contemplating on setting up a food slash cook blog for some time now but just never got around to doing it because I thought it would take up too much of my time. But I guess it'll be worth it in the long run when I can look back and see how I've progressed in my cooking skills and food presentation.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not really aspiring to be a world class chef or celebrity cookery personality. I just love cooking and all that but maybe some time (long more time) in the future I'd like to set up a restaurant or bakery shop. The only downside of cooking that I loathe is the washing up part. Would someone like to volunteer or offer their washing up services? You get a free meal out of it.

culinary sin

2007-04-04T15:32:00.000+10:00

Now I've gone and done it. I've allowed myself to fall from grace and plunge into the ultimate grandiose sin of purchasing a cook book. And not just any cook book. Oh no.

It had to be THAT one.

I guess I should have seen this coming. The finale, the closure, the icing on the cake of the beginning of my culinary adventure and moving on to amateurish cook and experimental pastry connoisseur. Being an avid follower of his TV shows and religiously (almost) trying to imitate his too-easy-to-be-true food preparation and cooking style, it was about time that I got my hands on some tangible assets of the Oliver corporation.

I've not been a big fan of cook books I have to admit so actually getting this one is a big step for me. It's not that I have anything against Jamie but more to do with the cook book concept of it all. I guess I have this inherent preconceived notion that all cook books are just a way for celebrity chefs to cash in on their fame despite the hyped up recipes which really do not need some detailed and overly descriptive paragraph on it.

Jamie Oliver is the epitome of all gourmet cheesiness, indulgence, and crass. And I mean it in the most affectionate way possible. What started out as an ordinary late morning walk to my Body Balance class quickly detoured into a one way crash landing of myself gravitating towards Borders Carlton. After taking a once over browse through the store, I was faced with the decision to walk away empty handed or procure the shiny book in front of me. Before I knew it I ended up forking over almost AUD$45 to get a piece of Jamie into my home and clutching the glossy matte finish book in my grubby hands, smirked to myself over my new vanity purchase.

I guess I'm stuck with this bad boy for now. Easter is coming up so don't forget to treat yourself to some delicious hot cross buns wherever you can get it. I had a full lunch earlier and found myself munching on one of those babies while reading the introduction pages of 'Cook with Jamie' shortly after. The warm aroma wafting through the house is enough to get me going on and on about hot cross buns. No matter how sinful they may be. Hopefully I'll be able to spare some time to try out some of his recipes during this break.

Back to mundane college work and poor diets contradicted by four days a week group fitness classes.

vivid cloudy mornings

2007-03-31T00:37:00.000+10:00

The clock is ticking down to my usual slumber land departure. I had two sushi rolls and a bag of Starburst gummi sweets for dinner because I had a rather large substantial plateful of spicy belacan fried rice cooked by yours truly which tasted better than I thought it would because of the added sweetness from the softened fried onion and tangy soy sauce and white pepper whisked into the egg mixture.

It's been a while since I've been this happy with something as simple as fried rice with nary a vegetable or meat in sight or even in my tummy after the meal.

I've been caught in a bit of a Sudoku and word puzzle games frenzy lately due to boredom and residual impact from reading the daily news. Now who says reading isn't good for you? I do, as it detracts me from my usual routine of studying (occasionally), internet-ing (a whole lot more than I need to), and indulging in the weekly downloaded shows (at least five times a week owing to the amount of different and upcoming shows I follow).

I am happy for being gym-happy more than usual this week as I actually worked on the treadmill for half an hour and burned approximately 250 calories on that one particular day. Now to just up the ante a little and push myself further to run at least three times a week. Somehow I don't see that happening anytime too soon. Well, at least yoga is coming along great even though the class is packed most of the times I've attended.

My mind must not have been listening to my subconscious thought when I signed up as a volunteer for the Run for the Kids Good Friday Appeal held by the Royal Children's Hospital. Not only is it a full on six hours event deal, which involves marshaling the runners to the starting points and setting up drink aid stations at the recovery areas, I have to be up at the crack of dawn (maybe before actually) and be at the place by 6.30 am to begin our volunteering work.

Incomprehensible actions and reasonable thoughts do not mix in my brain apparently.

I've been trying to get a part time job which hasn't worked so well. I guess it's mostly my fault as I've been pretty lax and not as enthusiastic about it as I should be or at least as a person looking for some extra cash should be. The pickiness and finickiness factors come into play as well because I really can be too fussy in my choice of work place and conditions of pay. And one really cannot be too choosy in this field of work. Well, I already submitted a resume to this candy shop and hopefully I do get called back about it. I really am considering working full time through the Easter break if I do get a real job somewhere nearby my place preferably. Maybe waitressing wouldn't be too bad after all. Yeah, me transporting mounds of delicate food on fragile heavy plates while trying to look elegant in my simple black shirt and musty food stained apron.

Sure why not. Now I just need someone to teach me the secret to stylish waitressing and how to dress the part like those perfectly combed and dressed waitresses in the movies oozing potential cum perfect bosoms.

Hmm, nice legs. Though I don't know if you're strong enough to handle all the panhandling that comes with the job.

zenith downward spiral

2007-03-25T10:58:00.000+10:00

Once again due to inefficiencies in my time management plan and policies about completing work on time, I'm back here again to burn time in hopes that this guilt trip will push me to work doubly and hopefully triply hard at getting back into the grind stone.

Work piling up but nothing to do, I decided to come up with a totally impromptu lesson in lyric writing by changing a few lyrics to the 'Spider-man' theme song and incorporate my Corporate Finance's lecturer's name into it. It came out fairly alright considering I've never had any experience or hand in lyric writing before and he apparently liked it when I emailed him the finished product. So much so that he's offering a once-off prize for the best recorded version of the song that I wrote. Isn't there some royalty issues that are at hand here? I'm not a lawyer and don't proclaim to know much about the legalities in the music industry but I'm pretty sure I should get some form of compensation for creating it. Albeit it isn't an original lyric though since the score was created like in the 80's or something like that far back. I did record a one minute track for him as well but I hope he won't be cruel enough to distribute to the whole class of like a few hundred students to mock and listen to my crap singing.

I have four text books laid out in front of me waiting to get my hands and head into it but I'm too distracted to do any real work now.

Easter break is only two weeks away but I feel like that it's not going to be much of a break for me considering I have an assignment due thereafter and two mid semester tests to study for which make up a substantial portion of my total assessment. I'm probably going to be needing a break to recover from the Easter break more so then.

Yesterday I had my first Creative Writing session which is going to last for the next eight weeks excluding the Easter holidays. It was a good and creatively challenging first three-hours session where I had to scrap the bottom of the barrel for some morsel of creativeness when we had two practice writing sessions. Considering I haven't had a dash of writing involvement since high school and excluding blogging, I'd say I didn't do half bad except that the other eleven participants in the room had a very broad range of writing styles that I find refreshing and just urges me on to do better. The instructor or facilitator was a gentle and well spoken and read lady who made me feel really comfortable despite me being late for my first class. Tardiness seems to be a growing habit nowadays. We had homework as well on writing about your earliest childhood experience or drawing something from there and just creating some short prose about it. Hopefully I can come up with something better and creatively enticing than a story about my first day of school or my first lolly.

The FINA World Swimming Championships are here in Melbourne with all the swimming greats gathered on one stage or in this case swimming pool and I might not be able to experience it because the tickets cost a bomb and my mom would prefer if I'd use the money for something more exciting and interesting like 'The Phantom of the Opera' broadway show in July. It's such a downer that I'm actually right here where all the exciting action is happening yet I can't go for it. This sucks. It simply quite crudely, blows.

Then there's the footy (Australian Rules Football) season coming up and I will not leave Melbourne without experiencing a full on footy match at the coveted Telstra Dome or MCG. So many things to do, so little time. Or more likely too much time to burn and inefficiently utilizing the seconds and minutes and hours that seem to fly by too quickly for me to notice.

The weather in Melbourne is erratic as ever. 33 degrees weather one day and the next temperatures plunging to a chilly 20 degrees and below. You know you really have nothing else to say when one starts talking about the weather. Because I really do not and will leave the blogging virtual world behind for now. There's the Melbourne Food and Wine Festival festivities going on today with the event being 'Wicked Sunday' where an array of chocolates, coffee, sticky wines, pastries, and ice-creams will be featured at Federation Square and the public is invited to partake in this gourmet feast fit for the luscious and decadent taste buds. I really hope I can make it because I need some serious foodie therapy to calm my nerves down a bit before delving into the harsh reality once again.

rescind and repent

2007-03-18T16:22:00.000+11:00

Couldn't be bothered to blog but am doing so for the sake of preserving my own posterity and narcissistic vain self for future references and namesake mockery.

Tomorrow I would be entering the fourth week of the first semester of my final year of university life. I'd rather skip all the typical and generic languishing over how time flies so fast and reminiscing about past events and all that stuff. Truth is, I really don't have much to blog these days and seem to be smothered in work thrown by jaded lecturers and even more jaded and often times sarcastic-in-your-face tutors. It's a daily and grueling affair to try to swim viciously through the insane amount of work that third years have to deal with now.

Wow, I just referred to myself as a third year. Old I am.

Anyway, it's like they expect you to be fully transformed into adult hood or something once you're past that second year phase and assume that we all know what we'd be in for in our final year, mostly excluding the double degree-ers who don't know when to stop studying or just trying to delay working life from coming too soon.

So, I'm getting ahead of myself again as I usually seem to be doing these few days. Living off campus is kind of fun in a cooking-and-cleaning-for-yourself kind of way where meal times are not dictated in a previous IH-fascist way and you get your own space to work, think, eat, sleep, and attempt working some more. It's somewhat bad as well since my meal times are erratic and inconstant resulting in binging and hunger pangs at 2 am. But overall the good outweighs the bad any day considering I save a whole lot by eating at home. Internet is relatively good, transporting or walking from university is accessible and easy going, and you can never go hungry where I'm staying as Safeway is like a block away, Boost Juice is right at my doorstep and an abundance of restaurants and cheap eats are a stone or stones throw away.

The flood gates are beckoning for me to open them soon and the pile of work to be completed before tomorrow 9 am tutorial is staring menacingly at me. What am I still doing here??? I really should hide my notebook away from my prying eyes and itching fingers for senseless online trawling.

Ta for now.

Damien Rice Live in Melbourne 2007

2007-03-03T18:20:00.000+11:00

Finally the long awaited upload is done. After several tries of uploading on YouTube and then some editing of the video as well, here we have it.

Enjoy.

comely tidings

2007-03-01T12:28:00.000+11:00

Alright, so I've been back in the land of the raging and freakishly erratic weather otherwise known as Melbourne for more than a week now. Almost ten days at most but who's counting anyway.

I am really not at all bothered to recount the happenings from last week when my family came along for the ride as well but just for posterity and my own selfish reasons sake I'll try to do it best as I can.

So, arrived last Monday night at my new place on LaTrobe Street which is probably one of the better location you can be at if you are uni student and don't want to be too far away from the city. My younger brother is also currently enrolled in UniMelb as well with him being just a year behind of me. And staying in the same apartment complex as well. Only just five floors below me. Convenience sake, closeness, however you want to put it.

So yes, family in Melbourne, what do you do? Where to take them? All these questions going round my head. We basically just traveled within the city actually and went shopping quite a bit and settling down in the new place. Loads of boxes to unpack, place to clean up, house supplies to be bought, room to be spruced up, and all that jazz. Had most meals out in various restaurants in Chinatown, around the city and Lygon. All in all a rather relaxing holiday for them not including me and my brother I think because we were more concerned about settling our uni stuff and enrollment amidst trying to satisfy the parents and the other younger younger brother as well.

Oh yeah, attended the Damien Rice show on February 20th last Tuesday night at the Palais Theatre at St. Kilda and it was awesome. Like really good. Better than record good. I took like a eight minute long video of the encore of the show where he performed the second last song of the night on the piano and it was understatedly incredible. I forgot that he was Irish until he started speaking. Which he sounded totally cute with that Irish accent thing and swearing every sentence or so. He was just being mostly random and mellow throughout the night where at the later part of the show he actually invited some random guy to come up on stage and take over for him for one song. Which he wasn't all that bad actually surprisingly.

Mental note: will try to upload the said video on YouTube as soon as I can for all to ravish at the performance that was and is Damien Rice.

Anyway the family sans my brother and I returned to KL on Saturday afternoon after a dim sum brunch which unfortunately didn't taste all that great but filled empty stomachs well. Thus it was then my brother and I left to fend for ourselves so to speak. Overall it was a rather uneventful weekend with just more cleaning up the apartment and getting things sorted and together. My house-mate arrived just two days ago actually where classes were already in the swing of things. Still it is only the first week so it can get better.

Am contemplating on joining this Creative Writing short course the university student union has on offer aside from the other myriad short courses available as well. It could very well put me back on track on my supposedly on-hiatus writing journey for almost three or four years now. Hopefully with fingers crossed.

Anyway, have to get ready for another two hour lecture later. And pay the monthly rent. And think of what to cook tonight for dinner. Man, this living out business thing is a lot different than what I thought it would be. Not difficult I mean, just a different environment than what I'm used to.

Oh, another mental note: Phantom of the Opera in July. Must get tickets. Really.

someday, somewhere

2007-02-18T23:53:00.000+11:00

This'll have to be a quicky. Just barely finished packing for the trip back to Melbourne together with the family and all. I hope I covered all that I intend to bring back or else I won't be returning till probably the end of the year till after I graduate.

The next time I'll be blogging will either be a month from now when I can get my internet connection fixed or from the computer labs on campus. Let's hope I'll be more settled down by then and not as cluttered in mind and place right now.

Yeah, the excitement in me is building up. Hoorah. Can't you tell?

Anyway to keep you mildly entertained up till the time I can get back to normal blogging routine and ritual again, here are some videos for you to enjoy. Well, you'd probably enjoy them more if you were an Il Divo fan but nonetheless these were the more recent ones that I scoured through the internet for.

A selection of videos I found of Il Divo's appearance and interview on 'Thursday Nite Live' on NTV7 when they were in KL a month ago. Fairly funny but I thought the interviewer, whom I have no idea what his name is but I do recognise him, was rather rude and too blunt at some points of the interview.

Three quarters of Il Divo singing 'Happy Birthday' to Urs in their own poperatic style. The hand waving and swinging thing was too funny not to laugh.

I told you I'd post a video of some part of the event that is my 21st. It doesn't look as good as it did then.

See you in a while. Hopefully not too long.

hiatus indefinite

2007-02-12T22:46:00.000+11:00

Damn it seems forever since I last supposedly blogged sans spilled my thoughts and all that crap.

Holidays come and go, but certain facts remain stagnant. Unable to change nor do anything about.

Is it any coincidence that I'm blogging for like what seemed the first time in a long time on my 21st birthday. Hmm. Not really. I think I subconsciously planned it like this.

So yeah, life goes on and revolve around me. Or was it the other way round?

In any case, the 21st birthday bash dinner thing was celebrated albeit two days earlier as a quarter of my friends would be returning to their real uni lives on the actual date itself. No matter, it's cool considering the night was a blast. It was my first time dining at Laundry Bar at the Curve and the place was quite nice and very ambient-cy. Nothing too fancy or big, just a small and cosy gathering of some of my close friends. Dinner was good as any Italiannies dinner can be. Had a cocktail drink but can't recall it's name but it tasted sweet and maybe had a bit of rum in it which is not my favourite alcohol. The highlight of the night was probably the Flaming Lamborghini which was pretty impressive seeing how it went up in flames and all. And in addition to that as well, some certain people made me do some unmentionable acts after that which I do not think I should post here. Perhaps I'll upload the video soon. Not now. But a lot sooner than you might think.

Thanks again for the presents and wishes from all who did get me gifts and sent wishes!

Yesterday's dinner was with my own immediate family at Rakuzen Restaurant where it was a milder affair with tiramisu cake capping it off at the end back home.

Tonight's dinner was with the rest of the relatives but not all which was pretty alright considering we usually do this as well but just a bit more special since it is my 21st. And there was the first Yee Sang of the Chinese New Year being served as well. Hoorah.

The holidays seem to have gone by in a blur for me to tell the truth. Lots of slacking and sleeping and attending yoga classes three times a week. This time next week I'd be back in Melbourne already. Time just whizzed by amazingly fast without me knowing nor doing anything about. Damn it.

I don't want to go back to the tedious regime of classes and assignments and lectures and stressing out about all that boring stuff. The pressure is just really getting to me now. I hate that. What happened to my competitive side of always wanting to be ahead? Where did that go? Or was it ever there or did it ever leave?

Anyways, I don't know when will be the next time I'll blog again but let's hope it won't be too long away from this one.

I swear, as I laid down to bed last night I had a lot of insightful, personal, heartfelt and sensitive things and matters on my mind that I had intended to be scribed down here. Ah well. Maybe next time.

if making love was music

2007-01-17T02:07:00.000+11:00

These four guys would make any girl happy.

They landed. They conquered. I arrived in my LBD. They crooned and wooed their ways into our hearts. And took our breaths away. The real thing is always better live.

Yes, it's Il Divo.

Nothing I say would do justice to the incredible brevity of watching a live performance by one of the most talented and awe inspiring music group since. We weren't supposed to be taking any photographs or videoing the concert but I decided what the hell, since I was already there and it is Il Divo. And everybody else's cameras were flashing off the moment they got on stage.

I would've liked my photos to come out like this.

Except that we were seated a bit too far from the stage so this was the best I could get away with without the ushers hounding me for sneaking a shot and vid or two.

The Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre, which is just next to KLCC wasn't as big as I had expected it to be but they did perform with a small live orchestra complete with energetic composer, grand pianist, a full set of drums, first-timer guitarist performing with the guys, and decked out stairway to heaven like stage with brilliant lighting.

I was actually hoping for something like this but I didn't mind.

They were amazing nonetheless. They could perform in the middle of the desert or on top of a glacier in their Armani suits and still look impeccably good.

I want to meet them in person and touch them one day!

The one and a half hours flew by so quickly that before I knew it they had sang almost 25 songs continuously without so much an intermission or break. It ended on a sweet and beautiful note with 'Somewhere' and the boys being adorned with garlands and gifted with single roses and presents from the rabid fans aching for more.

Alas all good things have to come to an end and they departed the stage with a standing ovation from the roaring audience no less. Please return to KL and I'd pay double next time to get those kick-ass seats right in front of the stage to bask in all their singing glory.

bore-ish behaviour

2007-01-05T15:19:00.000+11:00

The last time I blogged was because frankly I had nothing else better to do to take my mind off things. Like I had a lot of things on my mind but I beg to differ.

My daily routine of things goes about watching the telly, baking (and more often than not eating the baked goods), exercising those extra carbs gained from the baked foodies, lounging, sleeping till late, and unconsciously getting out for some fresh air once in a while. They don't necessarily follow in that order and frequency but I do get around to doing things though I prefer to be discreet about them.

A happy belated New 2007 Year to all as well. Hope it'll be a better year from the last.

New Year celebrations was rather low key in addition to a long standing sleepover tradition with the girls last week as well. Few glasses of Baileys and chocolate pudding cake accompanied the affair besides the stories exchanging back and forth and divulged secrets(?).

Okay, I just arrived at a mental road block so I suppose it's time to halt the blogging for a while now.

Oh, did I mention that I'll be attending two concerts in the next week and next month as well. Yay for Il Divo and Damien Rice.

anonymously yours

2006-12-07T17:44:00.000+11:00

Been a while since my last post. Been not exactly super busy as I had hoped to be. Just chilling and trying to get over my obsession of 'Prison Break' albeit unwillingly.

Nothing much has happened apart from a mini IH gathering in Klang, getting lost along the way in navigating our way to the restaurant and back to 1U, a baking adventure undertaken where I broke my own personal record of baking three items in a day which includes a butter cake, chewy chocolate chip cookies and peanut butter filled chocolate cookies. Couldn't be bothered with posting up pictures of my masterpieces but will do so in time.

I had another meeting slash interview session with the L'Oreal people again a few days ago and I'm hoping that this time the meeting will be able to secure me with a job for the next months till I return to Melbourne seeing as the Europe trip does not seem to be materialising any time soon. All my hopes and dreams of meeting a dashing, dark, and handsome and maybe Wentworth Miller-esque man in Italy has come crashing down.

Oh well, better luck next time I suppose.

Results are out tomorrow. I have to say it or not it won't be true. I don't want to know but I have to know too. Double edged sword piercing my heart. Please don't let me fail a subject where I actually have to return for summer semester early next year. It'll not only be devastating but humiliating for myself. I wouldn't know how to deal with it. I know maybe for some people it's not a big deal. I mean what's an extra semester. But for me it is. It's not just about the extra cost, it's the pride that comes with the cost. I realise that I've never been a straight As student or high achiever or any of those things but I've not been known to fail as well. I just don't want this to be the first time that I'd have to go through real failure. I was so close to the edge the last time and it can't happen again.

It just can't.

On a random note, YouTube does serve a purpose during the holidays. To kill time and finding random videos like this one of Wentworth Miller in his pre-'Prison Break' role in the defunct show 'Popular' from way back as a gay male cheerleader trying to blackmail Mary Cherry into letting him join the Glamazons cheerleading squad.

When I say it like that, it just sounds so wrong. Despite it all, whether he may be a smouldering hot inmate or a bitchy gay male cheerleader, he's still as delicious as ever. I'm just amazed as how much information I still retain regarding this outrageously fun and funny show which got rudely terminated just after a cliffhanger episode was aired.

Enjoy.

hung out to dry

2006-11-25T20:17:00.000+11:00

Less than six hours of sleep on the night that you arrive back home after a sleepless eight hours flight drains anyone.

True to my own nature of inability to sleep on airplane flights unless I'm really, really tired or have not slept for a day and a half, I spent of the waking eight hours watching movies such as 'Cars' and half of 'West Side Story' and an episode each of 'Prison Break', 'Supernatural', 'Family Guy', 'Simpsons', 'Everybody Loves Raymond', 'Futurama', and shamelessly 'Justice League Unlimited'. I went against my better judgment of not watching 'Prison Break' provided by the in-flight entertainment services for fear that they might show some spoilers but I was pleasantly not too "spoiled"(?).

I just want more Wentworth Miller to ogle at. Oh and I suppose the first season of 'Prison Break' would be an added bonus too. No, but seriously, aside from the incredibly delicious looking Wentworth Miller/Michael Scofield, the show is exciting, refreshing and definitely my kind of TV series where 'Lost' and '24' also fall within that category therein. Mmm, Wentworth Miller.

'Supernatural' is another show which will have me glued to the screen once I get my hands on the first season episodes. Two hot guys(Re: Wentworth Miller) chasing and vanquishing ghosts, angry spirits, and evil demons; sounds like an interesting premise for an ogle fest to me.

Slipping away from TV-lala-land and returning to reality-bites-world, the morning and night before the flight was spent packing, moving the boxes to the basement, sealing and resealing the boxes, labeling and more relabeling, and finally packing my luggage for home while worrying that my bags would go over the weight limit again. And again it did but it was alright as I will explain later on. The morning was spent specifically paying up the one month rent in advance and securing the new abode for next year. I feel so independent now. Yet not really.

Upon return to IH, there wasn't really much to reflect upon the fact that it would be the last ever that I'd be in IH as an IH-er until next year when I'd be an ex-IH-er returning to see old friends and possibly meet new IH-ers. Half an hour prior to our departure from IH in the cab taking us to the airport, lots of well wishes were wished, contact details exchanged, last minute checking of belongings done, warm hugs all around ensued and finally the last farewell from IH as we wave goodbye to the friends that sent us off. There were several people whom I didn't get to say goodbye too but I'd see next year and some who won't be returning which I regret not having a proper goodbye said. Forgotten contacts to get from dearly homeward bound friends.

The sending off was the lock that sealed the end of my IH year. The memories will always be with me. The friendships I made will always be treasured. The small things that may seem to go unnoticed I'll never forget. No matter what, I promise myself to visit IH at least once a week to not forget the place that I called home for a whole year where friends were just a door away where you can talk to any time and any place. There's too much to say about how much IH has given me despite some disparates, the good times more than make up for the sour.

The rest of the day/flight just went by in a blur of bad food, small TV screens, and sleepless flight. Everything else went smoothly by where I said my final, final farewell upon landing on home soil before being taken home in a daze and humid weather. Supper consisted of takeaway noodles from my favourite coffee shop place and watching 'Death Note' till 3 in the morning. I put the blame on my brother for making it so accessible for me to watch those first seven episodes which I could hardly tear myself away from.

Now that I'm back in my room and home, it actually feels like I never left home. Everything is at the exact same place as I'd left it the last winter break. Just cleaner.

Believe it or not I have an interview for an internship position at L'Oreal Malaysia on Monday 9am. It was such a random and spontaneous decision of mine to submit my resume via email to the HR manager. I had zero expectations to actually land the job lest even a reply from them. And now I have an appointment for an interview on Monday at 9 in the morning. Am I supposed to wear stylish work wear and put on makeup? The power suits and pantsuit I can handle but I hate putting on makeup. Even applying lipstick is difficult for me. Not that I don't know how, I just don't like the whole makeup-putting-it-on business. And I'm supposed to go for an interview with one of the largest makeup specialist company in the world. How much more contradictory can I get myself into?

In addition, the mom and I are supposed to go for a Europe bound holiday some time in mid December though unconfirmed as tour dates and tickets go by. I just want a break from anything that seems remotely familiar and toss myself into some foreign country where I don't have to prove myself for once.

There's still unpacking of clothes to be done and that issue thing about the work clothes and stuff. Good night for now.

Am home and loving *cough*Wentworth Miller*cough* it.

excess baggage

2006-11-21T23:32:00.001+11:00

Situation almost critical:

Day Two: Packing progress 10%.

House hunting progress: 90% complete with high possibility of staying in an apartment right smack in the city with shopping, Safeway, and Hungry Jack's just a stone's throw away.

Am happy but tired. Oh so very tired. Being on your feet for five days straight out scouting for places and settling packing and moving issues is not fun. It's an experience but so not fun.

72 hours till home soil.

memo: remind me of the memories

2006-11-19T23:47:00.001+11:00

Over. Finito. Done.

For the rest of the year till February 2007 when the whole process begins again. Except in a whole new atmosphere and environment. Out of IH but no place to call home as of yet. Moving is such a bitch.

Anyway, I was planning on blogging immediately after my last paper but with outings and drinking sessions getting a tiny bit out of hand it's not really my fault for this delayed post. Okay, partly my fault for agreeing to drinking three shots within five minutes at 2 am on Saturday morning. Followed by a few more shots and champagne that tasted like cough syrup. Well at least I didn't puke unlike a certain someone whose name is unmentionable for fear that I'll get the beating down later. But it does make for a good blackmailing opportunity should the need arise. The dinner before that was good followed by supper which all combined has made me a very chubby piggy.

Saturday afternoon and evening (the morning after didn't happen considering there wasn't any morning to wake up to) was spent stoning and watching O-week audition videos and Cafe videos from previous years. Dinner was taken out again with me smelling of barbecued meat and late night shopping at Safeway for biscuits and chocolates to haul back home for family and friends. Just four of us shopping then could have opened a shop back home selling Tim Tams and choccies. Supper was cooked again for another group of us chilling and talking about random things and the night before with nary a worry naught for the few who still had tests.

St. Kilda was the order of the day today with the exploration of the oh-so-famous arts and crafts market where I got a stainless steel and chrome like stand for hanging my earrings and jewelery. Cost a bit but I think it should be worth it. It was a good weekend spent I dare say.

Tomorrow begins the real work of apartment hunting and securing a place before we head back home on Friday. I'm actually a bit nervous about this considering I've never done this before and it's all so new to me. But it's a new experience and I shouldn't be too intimidated by it even though I evidently am.

It's been a long time since I actually wrote a daily recount of the events that happened to me. It's always some sort of emo post about me grumbling about some incoherent and incomprehensible event which most would not know unless you were within the inner circle.

Aside from that, will be busy getting last minute autographs and contact details from the stragglers who are still here before I leave. Like I said, it's the people whom I'll miss the most from IH here. Everything else is replaceable except for the memories, events, late night suppers and chats, drinking sessions, and the multi faceted groups of people who made it all happen including all the good and bad times.

Laundry is awaiting for me to be fetched. Reminiscence episode to come in the future. Watch (or read) out for it.

frolics inhibitied

2006-11-13T23:53:00.000+11:00

When life gives you exams, make like a pro and procrastinate.

Okay, I never make lame jokes on my blog so that will be the first and last ever time I'll do that.

Facebook is evil. MSN is the harbringer of all things evil and procrastination. And Wikipedia doesn't widen my general knowledge, it just takes up the brain power space up there which I would have otherwise utilised for something more useful like studying for my Cost Management test this Friday afternoon.

As you can tell from my lack of in-depth writing prowess and inhibited non-ability for joke-telling, I am bored.

It's not that I don't have anything to do but more like I don't want to do the things that I am supposed to be doing. In fact I do have lots of things to cover before Friday and yet I'm here. Perhaps I should list blogging as another procrastination vice as well.

It's pretty amazing in spite of my random ramblings throughout the year that I'll be back home again in ten days and ten nights. Too much has happened this year and to compress the memories into a paragraph or two of summarised anecdotes and tales would do no justice to them.

Therefore I'll leave it to next time I do decide to waste some spare time that I do have to spare unless it's been taken up by cleaning up my room and packing my belongings into boxes to be stored away for the summer holidays.

Ta for now.

rocking in step

2006-11-09T16:57:00.001+11:00

It's actually over. The marathon is finally done with. Just one last paper to go before it's end of term holidays and back home with warm weather, indoor air-conditioning and yummy fattening food to fill you up.

There are six days of preparation to be done before my final and last exam of the year on which I have not started on it at all since the official end of the semester teaching period. Audio lectures, here I come.

The house hunting process continues possibly this weekend if I want to ~~slack off~~ take a break but most probably next week only after the 17th.

I wish I did have some awesome and exciting tales to regale you about with but I really don't considering the ongoing exam period with most people burying their heads in the books and the lack of outgoingness most people seem to associate with at this time. My dreams seem to be more exciting than my daily goings-on. Eye bags, stress relievers (or lack thereof), and binging tend to bring out the good and bad sides of people easily.

Sleep is the word of the day and night.

middle of nowhere

2006-10-28T17:55:00.001+10:00

Saturday afternoons are the worst possible times to want to get any studying or anything done for that matter. It's even worse when you had a few drinks the night before till late and woke up to a spicier than usual lunch, feeling bloated and fat, and not having the drive to work as you usually do before.

The evilness of procrastination is inevitable.

Anywho, Swotvac time has arrived with not much of an entrance. I still haven't finished all my revision for the three in a row tests that I have in ten days. The weather is driving me crazy with the day before being cold and just three days ago an insane sweltering temperature of nearly 30. Hence in other words, I'm screwed.

I still can hardly believe that the semester is over already. There are still exams and all but officially second semester is over. I'll be in my final year in uni next year already. Damn. Then it'll be time for graduation. Followed by another phase in life ie entering the dreary work force. I've heard that time passes by quickly but no one told me it was going to be this fast.

I still haven't caught up with getting over my post-adolescent slash mid-teen crisis yet. And here I am about to enter full adulthood. Or at least attempting to.

Not really much to update on since Muic Night. Except for maybe the Halloween party which wasn't particularly great but not bad either. Just some dancing and bar trying to get people to buy from them. Other than that, a few late nights playing card games and midnight birthday celebrations happening along the way.

It's less than another month until I'll be back home again. It's like on one hand I do want to go home, but on the other, I feel like I want to spend as much time as I can here. Maybe exploring the rest of Australia a bit more and visiting obscure places too. Perhaps next year. Hopefully I'll be able to return to Melbourne earlier as well to secure a place and get a casual part-time job as well. I am determined to work next year no matter what. I so need cash. It's not like I'm strapped down for cash but that I just don't want to depend so much on my parents for the cash flow to run smoothly. It's just an independency issue that I have to deal with by myself and that I really want to know if I can do the juggling of work and study. Even though I know for a fact that I'm not the smartest person here.

Well, it's back to work and Swotvac-ing. Think I'll be spending a lot of my time in the library cramming in nonsensical facts into my head.

This is me signing off till after my three in a row exams are done with.

soul'd out

2006-10-20T01:45:00.001+10:00

Music Night, life question ponderings, some apartments and soul searching, and a dash of alcohol and partying in the near future was the agenda for my week.

Just barely two hours and fresh from coming out from Music Night held in the dining hall, I have returned to tell tall tales about it. It was awesome. I won't bore you with an intricately woven description of the two hours and a half plus worth of performances for the night. Let's just say it consisted of several overly talented musicians doing amazing pieces on the piano, violin, guitar, bass, saxophone, and drums, some wooden music, lots of rapping, classical good stuff, a Japanese dance and song rendition, excellent and quirkily composed songs (including one about the recent Booze Cruise), beautiful and original renditions (oxymoron!) of old and new songs, and a Faye Wong song performance thrown in for good measure as well.

Wish IH could actually have a music performance night once a month for us students to relax and chill. I still come out amazed at the abundance of musical talents that IH houses which they are ever ready to give us a taste of it and allow us to soak it up. Praise be lavished upon them all and they should all just have a one night IH concert for not just IH-ers to attend but for all to experience their musical talent and share in all its glory.

Alright enough of gloating about Music Night.

There's going to be a Halloween party on this Saturday night as well so should be fun when the ghouls, banshees and zombies come out then. Oh and not forgetting the people who're coming in costumes as well. Hopefully I can get some pictures up then too.

Contemplating on my subject selections for next year is a bigger issue than I thought it would have been. I thought it would be simple enough to just check out what are the interesting subjects that are open to me next year, confirm that I've met the prerequisites or corequisites, and simply enrol myself before I get fined for late enrolment. Then suddenly I had had to just have to start thinking about my future and all that jazz. Questions started to flow and ebb.

Do I really want to do accounting? Should I switch from a single degree course to a double degree one? Do I really want to commit myself to another two more years of uni life and studying on top of my third year in commerce? Should I consider switching specialisations? Is it too late? Perhaps I should have done a different course? What would my life be now if I did walk the road not taken? Would I still be here typing this out? Would I actually be a different person as a whole new set of experiences and people would have shaped me otherwise? What are my career options if I took this or that subjects?

And this is just the condensed version, omitting some others, of the questions that have been going through my mind in just this short span of few days.

Sometimes I think I think too much for my own good. Spontaniety and impulsive decision-making can be a good thing too.

On top of it all finals are coming up which I am not prepared for at all. I need all the luck I can get.

The apartment hunting is still an ongoing process. Think the house mates situation thing has been more or less settled but still unconfirmed at this moment pending the searching results for affordable and reasonable looking places to stay in next year. But this unresolved issue can be laid aside for the moment until after the 17th.

Have you ever felt like you're living in a fish bowl? Where everyone is observing your every move and you yourself can see that they are as well. Maybe it's just the paranoia creeping up on me for some obscure reason or other. It's not that I feel scrutinised for every move I make or step I take or that someone knows where I am at every moment of the day. It's just the thought that an outsider or even someone close to you knows what is going on in your life which you thought was private. It might have been your fault in the first place for not keeping them out from knowing a little bit too much insider information but where else can one vent, spill their guts, explore new feelings and meaning, and have a constructive outlet for friends and family to get a semblance of what's going on in one's life without letting them in too much inside the room.

The fine line of private versus public is difficult to tread and often times is blurred. I don't want to put the blame directly on visitors who sometimes acknowledge little notes I mention because it really isn't their fault. I'm just feeling ambivalent about where this blog is going and how I want to approach it in the near future. I do want to tell little things that I ordinarily won't say out but if it gets out then where do I go and what do I do about it?

Just some more questions being thrown about in this here old blog o' mine.

vexed in mind, body and soul

2006-10-15T16:29:00.001+10:00

My day started out unusually early with waking up at 7 and then immediately getting into Ekiden at 8 after a quick breakie. What is Ekiden you ask? It's basically a marathon relay race which originated from Japan and was brought over to IH a few years back by a few Japanese girls to begin an annual tradition of running for friendship.

There were approximately around 40 runners and powerwalkers involved in it starting from IH till St. Kilda beach with the option of doing 5, 10 or 20 km according to your preference or stamina if you like. I did the first 5 km leg from IH till La Trobe Street in the city but involved taking a longer route through Grattan Street and passing REB. The run basically consisted of a group of five to six runners at each of the eight legs in total. It was fun, exhausting and a good experience to go for even though I was easily outrun by the more seasoned runners who jogs daily at Princes Park.

Emo rant on the way soon. Be warned.

So finished my run half an hour later and returned to IH at around quarter past nine where I didn't return to sleep which I should've gotten now that I've thought of it in hindsight. An hour and half later my self help duty beckoned and it was another 3 hours before I got to rest my weary body again. And all this before 2!

If this keeps up I'll collapse before I even get to step into the REB next month for my first exam. DFO shopping was not as satisfying as I thought it could've been but I still got six pieces of clothing nonetheless and spent under $35 in total. Retail therapy is still the best kind of therapy any person will need in their lifetime.

The weather is cooling down once again and I am not missing the hot streak at all. Blame the cold-blooded creature in me for not abling to withstand the heat and perspiring part that comes with it.

With the passing of the Valedictory Dinner last Thursday, I began to form my own reflections on IH and all the events and goings-on and drama that ensued during the time that I've been here so far. In less than one year even. Can you imagine the emotional drama and trauma that I would have to endure if I stayed on next year. Not a pretty sight to behold or think even.

From some midly intense drama tango-ing, untangling muddled and confused feelings, getting embroiled in a little IH political controversy, several unpleasant criminal intentions bubbling at the surface and even a small fire, all add up to a rather eventful, interesting and memorable year in IH. It's like a condensed version of being a senior in a US high school, except without the typical bitchings and promiscious behaviour. Oh wait, I take it back. IH does resemble the typical US high school experience except with a lot of Malaysian flavour added to it and set in an Australian environment.

From O-Week (sleepless nights and endless fun), IH Ball (hook-ups and cam-whoring), Booze Cruise (as the name implies; passing out, puking over the boat, and "happy" people), SWOTVAC (the tutorial rooms still have a lingering post-exam smell), Cafe International, Dutch and Jamaican National Nights (weed and prostitutes aplenty), IH Play, Commencement and Winter Dinners, Valedictory Dinner, and a multitude of other IH events and activities to be cherished during my time here. Then there're of course the sports events that play a big part in college life, from footy (which I "played" in two games), soccer (guys team came in 2nd), badminton (trumped Trinity to become intercollegiate champions), volleyball (won it as well), rowing (did quite dismally attributed to the tiny Asian syndrome), and the recently completed Ekiden.

Inevitably all this will end all too soon for me. There's a bitter-sweetness attached to this leaving business but I really hope this will be for the better at least. Not the best as nothing is ever perfect. I can't believe that I'll be leaving this place in about month plus time. I know that I can always come back for a visit but how often can that be. Most ex-IH-ers have moved on with their non-IH life and are getting involved in other stuff notwithstanding their previous dedication and contribution to IH.

I guess the thing that I have difficulty most separating myself away from IH is the people that I've grown to become attached to and develop a different kind of closeness that cannot possibly be replicated anywhere else. The college experience has allowed me to see the world in a whole new perspective yet able to retain my own self; attitude, behaviour and all. Not many people would have the opportunity to live in a college environment where dining with hundred plus people, living with hundred plus people, and having your life literally exposed and sometimes scrutinised by hundred plus people have become the norm and is accepted willfuly by everyone. Being surrounded by different types of people from various backgrounds, ethnicities, and culture on a daily basis is also a challenge but an enjoyable and often enriching reality to remember and cherish. People that I initially had reservations towards to but then became some of my closest friends here, friends whom I thought were but revealed themselves differently in layers, and settling in comfortably with a select group of people but not limiting myself exclusively from others as well.

With the closing of one door, a window opens; so goes the old saying. Perhaps living independently from IH instead of being surrounded in the comfort of being provided your meals and not having to do dishes or clean the bathroom will be a new and fresh experience to chalk up in my precious memory life bank.

Anyway, the last general meeting (GM) is on tonight with the highlight being O-week auditions. Should be fun and an interesting night for all who attend despite its lateness in timing and sometimes distractions culminating in delays and nonsense ramblings occuring.

Good day and good night.

wisdom within

2006-10-13T23:35:00.001+10:00

I've been experiencing some sort of sleep disorder pattern for the past few days. I always seem to wake up just half an hour before my alarm is set to go off. If it was set to 8.30 I'd be awake by 8 and then I'd just fall back asleep only to be awaken by my alarm. The same thing happens for when I'm supposed to wake up at seven past but I jolt out of slumber by 7. It's a really strange phenomenon. I don't quite get it myself but maybe it's got something to do with the weather or just some deep thought stuck at the back of my mind.

It was almost 30 degrees today but better with breezes the whole day unlike yesterday where we were practically sweltering and dying for a cold long drink the whole time. The Valedictory dinner at night just made it worse as the dining hall was like an oven and with us dressed to the nines in pressed shirt and tie for the guys and slightly more than usual bare skins exposed for the ladies.

The event was fun. One of the more fun IH events of the year thus far. It was a celebration of the IH-ers who entered their third year of university this year and acknowledge the more outstanding IH contributors. Emotions was running high on some of the valedicts' parts while others were just a bit too tipsy and drunk on wine before even the main course was served. Reflections; funny and tear-jerking, accidental name slip-ups, and nonsensical ramblings were all on the agenda for the night. There were even musical performances or two to complement the dinner along with a video montage to honour and cherish all the good times we had in IH. Well, not us freshers but mostly the seniors but we get to reap in the atmosphere as well. Ended with a bang of champagne popping and dancing to our O-week theme songs in the middle of the dining hall while the kitchen staff tried in vain to get us to vacate the place as it went a bit too late into the night.

Too bad I won't be able to valedict next year as I am moving out. Been checking out some places listed online and will be scouting the nicer looking ones soon on future weekend outings. Hopefully. What with the whole examinations approaching and all. Oh, the awfulness of it all.

Just realised that it Friday the 13th today way too late into the day. But somehow no one else seemed to notice it or they've forgotten the creepy notion or symbolism of the day is or maybe we've just outgrown the superstitious stuff a long time ago.

In any case there'll still be a Halloween party to look forward to despite the depressing gloom of exams foreboding upon us all.

And can you believe it, I'm actually waking up earlier than usual to go duty free shopping in this warehouse place in the outskirts of the city tomorrow morning. The things one would do for cheap shopping bargains here.

zzz-less

2006-10-11T21:15:00.001+10:00

At 2 am this morning after I had just drifted off to dreamless slumber an hour ago, the fire alarm went off blaring away.

It was apparently set off by a small fire in a rubbish bin in one of the bathrooms in the Clunies building.

I somehow managed to drag myself out from bed, grabbed my key, forgot to put on a jacket and aimlessly lumbered alongside the rest of the bleary-eyed residents to the designated evacuation site.

It was cold. And I picked the absolute wrong night to wear pyjama shorts to bed.
I thought it was another fire drill that I had somehow forgot about but in two or three minutes of standing out in the cold openness after and seeing three fire trucks and a police car trailing behind not long later arrive, I convinced myself that it was the real thing.

Not exactly the best timing for a fire starter but no one ever plans these things right.

Back to OB and deciding on what to wear for Valedictory dinner tomorrow.

sappy tall tale

2006-10-10T22:35:00.000+10:00

There's my last group and final assignment for the semester that I really should be attempting to finish by tonight but here I am still.

Procrastination is the virtue that will end us all.

My slow and naggy monster of a portable computer aka notebook aka laptop just went through a half hour virus cleaning session and is all well again. It actually seems to function just a tenth faster than it did before the decontamination process. I'm glad.

The semester is about to come to another close. Hard to believe that it's already the end of the year and I'm still recovering a bit from the post trauma shock of arriving in Melbourne earlier this year in February and experiencing a whole lot of new things and events and people in such a short frame of time.

I don't want to leave IH just yet. Yeah. I'm moving out. Out of IH. Into total independency life for once. Fending for myself in the cold, cruel and costly world of rent, utility bills, eating out, homemade cooked food and shared accomodation. Just as long as I get my own room and a kitchen for me to experiment and play with, I'll have it made. More updates regarding the moving out situation in the future.

Valedictory dinner is on Thursday, Ekiden on Sunday, followed by Sports dinner on Tuesday and Music Night on Thursday too. Which just leaves Halloween as IH's official last event of the year before we all depart for the break.

I won't be interning at the end of the year but I do hope to get a part-time job earning crap money for the duration of my holiday back home after holidaying in Europe for the earlier part of December. Looking towards more of waitressing, barrister-ing or retailing. I don't really hope much about pay as anything home has to offer, anywhere in Aus will top it twice over. I just need something to do to fill my time instead of myself bumming around and getting fat for that three months summer break.

Finals are happening in less than a month time. What am I still doing here? Avast ye blogging bug of terror and procrastination horror!

Anyway, this blog will probably be on hiatus for a month or so before I return to revive it after my exams are done with by the middle of next month. Or maybe not as I really want to report on the goings-on in my last few weeks in IH.

I'm going to miss this place. And I haven't even left yet.

jet, set, go

2006-10-02T12:12:00.000+10:00

Time simply passes by too quickly for any individual to even capture the moment of when time flew by where we were just a second or two steps behind to realise it.

It's the beginning of the end of the last stretch of the year before the next three months summer break back home and maybe abroad. Back to the grindstone before the next month of SWOTVAC and exams hitting back at us again. Everything is really flying by way too fast. I still haven't properly settled back into my old routine from last semester of making hot chocolate and coffee at odd hours at night and or burrying my head in some well needed attention deficit studying materials.

Gold Coast and Brisbane was great. Spent four nights and three days in total. Awesome. Together with three other good friends and meeting old faces and new ones there as well. Fun. I want to return to Surfers Paradise and sun bathe again. Sun, deep blue sea, soft pearly sand, and better company. Movie World was fun and cool and all I got from it was a blue Superman emblem t-shirt, an empty purse, and lots of heart-stopping moments. Went to most all the rides except for the Batman Motion Master one which was apparently not that great so not a loss. But I wouldn't change a thing about it. Dream World involved quite a bit of fun as well but maybe we were just too saturated from Movie World the day before to appreciate the best we could. Rode more rides and snapped more pictures along the way as well. The trip was overall a fun ride and more and I'd love to go on another one again. Maybe a road trip to the outback or some other state next year.

I have just realised how much cash I've been withdrawing from this two weeks break. The shopping bug has to be ostracised from my body before my bank balance goes into a negative figure if that can even happen. Filled with a lot of impulse buys and emotionally geared shopping trips, I'm just going to land myself into a hole pretty soon if I don't take control.

Back on the topic of exams and pressure; my exam schedule is pretty screwy as I've got three days in a row of exams followed by the last one taking place on the last day of the second to last week of the exam period. In short, it means that I get to go home earlier than expected. Hoorah. Not so hoorah over the three days straight exams though. Argh.

There're two more assignments to go before I can really set my arse down to seriously studying. The weather is becoming a bit more tolerable now with the average temperature hovering round 16 degrees. I can sometimes walk out with just a tank top but it might be a bit risky considering how volatile Melbourne weather can be a bitch.

Will have to be deciding on whether I want to continue staying in IH next year. I probably will if I do get to move into Avenue Apartments with CK&V. But then again there's the brother issue thing to take into consideration about. Decisions, decisions, decisions. If there's a thing I'd like most in the world right now is a decision-making robot or machine thing for myself to own and keep so that my mind would be free from all these conflicting thought processes.

Hola for now.

love and loathing in somerset

2006-09-20T12:46:00.000+10:00

Seeing as I couldn't find the internet software CD for me to connect online at the friend's place that I'm renting out for the week, I'm here blogging, blog-hopping, assignment-researching, and generally online-ing from the semi-comfortness of the uni's computer lab facilities.

Yes, dear readers. I am living by myself. All alone. No one to catch me when I trip and fall or help with the dishes and cook or fetch the extra key in case I managed to lock myself out. I am independent. But only for the week till I leave for sunny Brisbane and Gold Coast on Saturday.

The location is perfect. I'm on the highest level of the apartment I'm residing in, there's electricity, water, television, DVDs, bed, kitchen, and privacy. Let me reiterate that. P-R-I-V-A-C-Y. It does feel nice living by myself for a change. Being able to make my own pre-cooked meals, going out in my lousiest of clothes to get a cup of skinny Mocha that I couldn't be bothered to make myself in five minutes tops. A street away is a shopping mall, and down the other way is another shopping district with abundance of food and drinks to wet my palette and ensure that I never go hungry.

Downside of course is that I don't get to see much of society and or my friends as I usually am used to back in IH. But I can adapt.

The Royal Melbourne Show is opening tomorrow and a bunch of people including myself will be going to the show grounds tomorrow all day. Should be a bit of fun and all that jazz with rides, shows, performances, food and drinks all day.

The new 'Fifteen' restaurant by Jamie Oliver is opening today in Collins Street, Melbourne. I really want to experience a posh dining style of eatery but doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. Seems like the place is packed but hopefully I get to glimpse a little of Jamie tonight when I pop over there to sneak a look. I'm such a foodie whore.

I really want and is in desperate need to go to a concert. Any concert will be fine. I've already missed out on Kanye West, Dashboard Confessional, Snow Patrol, Jason Mraz, and John Mayer who've all been here since the past two or three months. I am so deprived of any cultural or social interaction with the outside world besides uni and IH.

What is happening to me? The next band or singer coming here, I'll be there with cam in hand and lungs to scream.

Anyway, I have to be going now. Work is beckoning to me and I can't afford to slack any longer. Ta for now.

dressed up story

2006-09-16T02:38:00.000+10:00

Spring break has officially begun. Yeah, I know it's actually fall/autumn in other parts of the world where four seasons exist but not all in one day. I'm loving the sun and soaking it all up as much as I can for as long as there is sunshine and I can walk long enough that I don't work up a sweat.

It's going to be a rather bleak but also interesting break where I'll actually be working on assignments that are due in the first two weeks right after the break and heading off to Brisbane next Saturday with one or maybe two people for a few days.

I don't want to remain in IH and fork out an extra $420 for the one additional week that I'll be staying here before I depart for Brisbane. I could actually rent out a friend's place for the two weeks that she won't be here as since she'll be in sunny and humid Malaysia; Malaysia where the good food and late night shopping reign. Maybe I will. And should. But then again, it'll be rather hectic having to tidy my room and moving the bulk of my things to her place and especially where I have work to do and all. Blargh. Convenience costs. A lot.

Often times I really wish I had a little interesting and witty anecdote every week to entertain the readers but I just don't. Hopefully, something eventful comes up this break that I can ramble on about without meaninglessly bore people about irrelevant uni and or IH related stuff like the quality of IH food being on a steady rise in the last two weeks but seemingly dipping again to its previous atrocious state.

There was an article in the July edition of this year's Reader's Digest magazine about dreams and how we can actually control what we dream and remember a lot more things about our dreams in order to interpret their hidden meanings better. I suppose there were a lot of things in there that did make sense to me except for certain parts like how colours can tell you what the dream's settings are and lucid dreaming, which is a state of dream where you actually know that you are dreaming and able to determine what's going to happen then without any real life implications simply because it's just a dream.

Oh, imagine the possibilities of being able to control your dreams even if it's just a little. I just want to learn how to remember my dreams better in order to record them and reflect on them later. I want to be able to also make sure that I do dream of a particular something or someone. Okay, I think I'm going off track here. In any case, I'm in much need of some dream interpreter person to help me decipher the true meaning of my dreams and let me learn how to dream better adn recall them more accurately.

Dream on.

Edit because I want to:
Just got back from a joint 21st birthday party held in the PWR in IH. Lots of alcohol and food involved with several tipsy and sometimes drunk people dancing away to R&B and sometimes odd 90's music that should have stayed forgotten. I didn't feel like the drinking kind tonight so I'm actually feeling quite awake now at 2.31 am after having my fill of chips and dips and chocolate coated fruits.

zoned out within

2006-09-09T13:17:00.000+10:00

Apathy is slowly creeping into the comfortable and lesser known existence of my own and within IH where assignments are struggling to be completed and midterms to cram for. I hate looking in from the outside of the glass bowl, observing the scurrying life flitting away while I stand by the sidelines and snigger when one of them trip and fall or hide my obvious happiness for them.

The all-consuming burden of work, work, work, is getting to me. I don't want to be one of those persons who complain all the time about how much work they have as compared to everyone else's work load and that they have to get round to doing it soon after they're done with their current bunch of assignments and midterms. But I think I am. Whatever happened to the laidback self that I knew once and thought existed last semester. Now I find myself burried beneath piles of incoherent lecture notes, half-heartedly completed tutorials, half-assed assignment results, and burning the midnight IH MeeG oil (though I do not indulge and or eat it) almost every night for the past two weeks.

The grey-eye-bags and dark-circles monster has emerged from its former shell that is me and transformed into one who couldn't be bothered with making fashion sense work and practically lives out of her IH rugby jumper and litres of coffee each day. I'm just barely surviving and clinging for some sort of social interactivity by shoving down breakfast and dinner opting to forego lunch and random romps in the city for hot chocolate during weekdays, caffeine infused intimate conversations and occasionally supporting IH related events and sports during weekends.

I would like to say that I am having a good half semester but I can't really because there're just some things lacking and some things unobtainable therefore returning to the lacking part. Literal translation = Catch-22. One dream just says it all.

Last night's dinner to celebrate a Japanese exchange girl's 21st birthday was one of the nicest and most proper fun times that I've had in a long time. It was an overdue thing that I've been meaning to get to doing. So yeah. Enjoyed a Korean barbeque slash Thai cuisine with the birthday girl alongside half of Melbourne's population who dropped by the restaurant and trickled out again after wishing her a happy 21st and all that jazz. It was fun. In a civilised kind of way.

The AGM is on Sunday when the new IHSC aka IH Student Council board will be elected. A bunch of people who I know will do a good job are running but some I'm not too sure. It's going to a be long night that one.

It's already past my usual post-lunch fruit munching session but I'm not hungry for some yet. The rest of the day will be spent crouching over the notebook's screen and keyboard working deliriously on my Corporate Law assignment due on Tuesday so that I can actually start studying for Accounting for Corporate Entities midterm on Tuesday.

What? Do I hear gasps of abomination over the injustice of having a midterm AND an assignment due on the SAME day? That's university life for you.

Shameless plug of the day:
IH made it into the Intercollegiate football slash soccer finals tomorrow morning after narrowly beating St. Hilda's 3-2 with a golden goal finish and I won't be there to support the team like I actually did this morning due to self-help brunch committments. Here's a mini shout-out to the team to kick -insert whatever college team name-'s ass tomorrow morning and claim back IH football sporting glory.

quarks of light and sparkly bits

2006-08-28T15:29:00.000+10:00

Am supposed and in the middle of perusing a bunch of research articles for an OB team assignment due next week but here I am.

Why?

I refuse to indemnify my dignity with answering such a rhetorical question.

The week in all last tallied up to nights of snacking, DMCs (Deep Meaningful Conversations), browsing lists upon lists of article titles that mean nothing to me, running after trams from the front door of IH, and catching the ever elusive IH Play "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead".

Somewhat productive yet I feel totally unaccomplished. Well at least I have the indulgent priviledge to say that my accounting knowledge isn't exactly rubbish yet as I still can tell the difference between prepayments and accruals and discount allowed and purchases returns. It's been a while since I've had a proper sit down conversation with the guy and with me sniffing and tolerating a sore throat even throughout it all. If I had looked really horrible with eye bags and unkempt hair, he was really too polite not to mention anything.

The mid-semester break is almost upon us and I haven't a clue as to what my plans are going to look like. I really want to explore Australia and yet I actually just want to stay here visiting the nooks and crannies of what Melbourne has yet to offer me.

There're just too many things floating and getting all tangled up there now in my knotty head to sort them out properly. The topic on guys is pretty stagnant even though I do want to approach a certain someone but is really off limits due to engagement issues. Too tired to even explain myself I'll leave it at that and let your minds wonder and ponder on it.

I have a sudden immense craving for natural muesli cereal drowned in mango and or strawberry yoghurt and half a cup of soy milk.

Okay fine, I can't contain the indignation any longer. Getting to know the guy was the worst mistake I could ever make and realising it now just makes it all worse. Half-heartedly joking I want him to actually leave so that I don't have to see him anymore and so I won't feel this sense of wanting to see and talk to him anymore and yet I want him to stay just where he is just so I can observe from far untouchable and unobtainable.

Alright, I'm done screwing with my emotional gravity pull and stringing everyone else along for the crappy ride.

I need a job. I want a good paying job. Like maybe in the IH kitchen on weekends. Perks included.

ugly farce hiding

2006-08-19T15:29:00.000+10:00

Struggling to concoct a catchy and or snappy slash witty phrase, I realised that I just couldn't be arsed to do it after getting only five hours of sleep the night before having to go for the umpteenth career fair exhibition thing where big multinational corporations come scouting for Malaysians in Melbourne. Yeah, like they couldn't it do it back home but then again I'd never bother myself to attend any of those things if not for my dad or mom reluctantly encouraging me to go for it lest I become one of those "unfortunate" twenty-somethings who still live with their parents. I swear I'd remove myself from the house once I secure a good paying job and livable and rentable place once I graduate.

Anyway, back to the topic of job-searching and career-fishing. Went there for about an hour or so, feeling all sleepy-headed and unaware of my surroundings still, but managed to scout out three firms; P&G, Petronas, and Shell, submitted my stuffs, and departed for Smith Street to exchange a pair of Havaianas which was a size too big for a smaller size which I can only get them back in a day or two. The price I have to pay for the vanity and comfortness that comes with a Havaianas. The Graduan Careers Fair organised by MASCA was pretty good and interesting except that I'd have to return there again tomorrow or possibly later in the day as well for additional talks or tests. P&G was rather attractive so I'll probably be heading along that area. Plus, I got a free jumbo can of Pringles; Smoky BBQ flavoured. Greed driven ambition equals free junk food.

Oh and did I mention that I kept checking the time every five seconds or so to tell myself that I'm not late or too late for my lunch self help but ultimately I arrived back by tram half an hour late and myself out of breath and him giving me a cheeky grin and or maybe a condescending shake of the head.

Besides pompously flitting from fair to fair, try as I might, the work just seems to pile up effortlessly on my table and is showing through the lack of marked off tutorials that I've yet to do and lectures and notes that I've been meaning myself to get through to reading before every lectures of the week so as to not make a fool of myself if I accidentally fell asleep in class.

Why do I feel so out of of it and not myself these few days?

Winter is beginning to wane and spring is awakening where I sometimes feel the spirit of spring blossoming when I walk to classes and back as I occasionally find my lips curling up into a small smile and taking in all the little buds of flowers peeking out from cracks and corners of the most obscure places.

I so need to get a part-time or casual job. Fast. Speaking of money matters, I'll be fifty dollars richer by this time tomorrow where I've been taken in to be a tour guide of IH showing prospective local students the IH way, how the college looks and feels like, and basically reeling in future students to stay here next year. Pretty ironic since it is a high possibility that I won't be staying here next year but oh well. It's still fifty bucks.

IH Play, "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" to attend, an overdue movie night to go to, Jamaican National Night choir practices, mid-semester tests, group assignments, and optional skills assignment make up the bulk of my agenda for the next week or so.

Wish me luck.

On a more personal note, subtleness is overrated and so is being aloof. Let's just be more open and less discreet in what we feel about something or someone without the other person having to guess at what you're trying to do or say. It's just as frustrating to the sayee as it is to the sayer. Not to say that I do act that way as well but I just hate the face that we're actually still acting this way when I think being frank and forwardness should be the way to go. I do wish I could just be open and truthful to everyone I interact with but some close minded people probably would just die from being exposed to such outright bursts of passion and thoughts. This culture of being cool and assumptions is just getting on my nerves and pretty soon I'm sure I'll explode into a fiery ball of hurtful truth and open frankness.

down and under the weather

2006-08-13T02:45:00.000+10:00

That's what the condition and situation going around IH is all about currently. People coming down with flu, cough, runny noses, and bouts of fever. I hope I'm not the next one to fall ill and have to spend two weeks recuperating from the infectious return of the IH virus.

Been another long blank space from the last update since. Not much has happened unless you count being laden with future assignments, presentations and mid-semester tests burdened on your calendar for the next two months as something. In addition to the upcoming IH National Night with Jamaica being the theme then, the IH Play, and several other events being held in future which should be fun to go along and or just enjoy from the stands.

A crucial and main part of the past week was spent planning for the future. Yeah. Career and job searching perseverence, bulking up your resume, and prospect seeking fresh graduates of the future. Apparently it's best to start applying for internship back home as it will give you a head start in the working world when you graduate as you can boast about your getting to intern for two months at most at some big-ass corporation where you get to learn the ropes and do some PPF (printing, photocopying and filing) at the same time while coworkers encourage the little flame of inexperienced strength and courage in you. I just never thought that I'd have to do this so soon. Plus I don't even have any solid working experience to account for in my resume. The visa working permit better go well come Monday as I'm planning on visiting the DIMA office in the city to get my new visa label that'll enable me to work for a maximum of 20 hours a week during semester and unlimited hours during the holidays. I just hope finding a job would be just as easy. I don't really mind getting causal or part-time work anywhere just as long as it's withing walking distance at the very least so that I don't have to splurge on tram costs. All this talk about work jargon has had my head spinning for a bit. Unwinding with a couple of guy friends for the last few days whom I hardly spent time with last semester was good and fun. It actually helped keep my mind off things for a bit while letting me focus on some other important matters. It's like a whole new perspective has opened up to me. It's really odd being around this many guys yet not developing any intimate feelings for them but only in a very platonic way. Refreshingly weird this is. Though the guys whom I really want to talk to always seem to be with other groups of people or I just can't seem get close enough to without a little bit of alcohol involved. Okay, when things seem to can't get better without alcohol, you know you've reached the end of the road.

Turn back now!

Right. Anyway, overall I just really want and desperately need to improve a lot more on this second semester subjects. I'm currently enjoying my Organisational Behaviour lectures and classes while Corporate Law is quite interesting as well. I think generally American lecturers tend to relate better with us weary-eyed and cynical undergrads or maybe it's just these two lecturers of mine that are like that. In any case they're good and I'm just happy that I can actually stay awake fo the duration of the lectures despite them being either held in the late afternoon or in the morning and being two hours long.

Another thing that's been harping on for a while now is the status of my residential address in Australia next year. Am I or am I not going to remain staying in IH? Am I moving out on my own or with my brother or with a friend or two? Is there a chance for me to actually move into the Avenue Apartments in IH next year where it's slightly cheaper? So many unanswered questions bothering me at this time. Everything is circumstantial. Only time and situational decisions will tell I suppose.

On a final note, home cooked vegetable curry is good, just not any IH curry. Five days a week classes is just no fun.

enlighten me

2006-08-01T23:32:00.000+10:00

It's been ages since my virtual life story's been updated.

Lots happened over the days since my last post. The cousin visited and did the whole Melbourne touristy thing with friends and among other things. It was fun. I can't remember the last time I spent this many nights out so late and returning to my room crashing onto the sweet soft bed with unfinished work and unread lecture notes.

In between classes I'd be tramming down Elizabeth Street to bum around in room Christmas on Somerset on Elizabeth watching Scrubs and Rocky Horror with the cousin, friend and some more friends. I really want to move out into there now. It has the best location so far that I've seen excluding QV just because of the pricey tag attached to the name. Then we'd saunter off for dinner and then on some nights we'd be dancing the night away in a club or having a few rounds. Good stuff. I feel like I've been neglecting my IH social life for the past week just cause I've been out so much. Guiltiness is me.

The Booze Cruise on Saturday night was suffice to say one of the best and worst nights of my young carefree life so far. I went dressed as a really funky looking painter with loud stockings, black berret, and emo looking tank top. Pixies, punk rockers, patients, a purple hippo, Playboy bunnies, paedophile, pimps, a pillow, policeman, pirates, and among other things to make it to the 'P' list were present. It was just such a cool sight to behold as the first group of about forty of us jumped and crammed into the tram to get to the end of Elizabeth Street to make our way onwards to the Yarra River for the River Cruise to get started. Free flow of alcohol was the basic and raw main attracting point of the night where the moment we set off from the dock, everyone was immediately sculling mixers and shots one after another. The DJ got people dancing almost immediately even though it wasn't as good as the on in 'ffour'. Nonetheless, I had about five drinks in that two to three hours myself which was enough to push me over the edge of high and tipsy into pissed and wasted status. In between the dancing and drinking and camwhoring, the result of my manic night out on a boat was spewing overboard four times and once more in a bag on the tram back to IH. But who's counting anyway. The worst part was not recalling all the details of what I supposedly did that night, who I talked to or danced with, or even what I drank. Oh but I do remember thinking that I actually managed to develop a crush on this guy whom I just met on the cruise and possibly danced with for two seconds. Or it might just be the leftover alcohol hungover effect still addling with my brain.

Never again. Now if only I can manage to stick to that wish and promise.

Pertaining to the anime watching secret life of mine, Hagane no Renkinjutsushi or otherwise known as Fullmetal Alchemist or Hagaren in short, is definitely one of the better and probably less talked about anime in the anime fandomsphere. I heart it. It stands out for not taking advantage when they so obviously can of full chested women, over the top hot guys, overblown villains, popular cliche sci-fi elements, and romance allure that all are atypical of any current anime series. However, they do have some of those subtle elements apparent but they're overlooked and pushed aside for the deeper story and characters that make the show so relevant, exciting, funny, and easily emotionally attached to.

Move over Bleach. Hagaren is the one to watch even though the series has ended with a satisfyingly conclusive movie to cap it all off where the manga is currently still moving along very well. I expect many future late nights being kept up reading and anticipating for the next.

Pushing aside all other things, education-wise, it's going along muddily fine. Am not sinking above my knees yet so it's all good. I like my two American lecturers and the newbie Indian lecturer but the one local Australian one is putting me to sleep faster than general anaesthetic. Hope things get better before it's too late. I can't believe I'm stressing over all this in just the second week of the semester. But better sooner than later I suppose.

Oh man, I'm being desensitised by the bright and freshly scrubbed new faces in IH that I've yet to learn their names and faces. Hopefully I can get them all down by next week. There are a few guys who look interestingly enough for me to get to know them.

It's the drugs and alcohol speaking! It's the truth.

jeopardy calls

2006-07-23T23:03:00.000+10:00

It's an odd and compeling feeling of mine not to reminiscent about the past month of pure nothingness and indulging in narssistic pleasure. I'm beginning to miss those adolescent days of joyful thoughtlessness and obsessing over life's little pleasures that come in the most ubiquitious of packages and tiniest of blessings. Barely a day has passed and I still feel like I can return to the comfort and safety of my room and bed and sheltered parental residence. I suppose this sort of things take time to adjust and I really should allow myself some time off to get back into the mood and swing of things in IH.

It was another ordinary night of picking at my spaghetti meatballs during dinner and people watching in the foyer while getting to know a smattering of freshers made up of forty plus eager looking estrogen or testosterone filled bodies as they navigate through the fascinating and quirkily themed Pajamas Party held in the JCR. Can't blame them though. I was just like that a few months back. Oh hell, I can declare myself a senior now. I feel ancient.

I'll be attending my first and only lecture tomorrow afternoon on a Monday. How fitting is it that it should be tomorrow and that it's a Corporate Law lecture at that. On top of that I need to recharge my prepaid local Aus number before people are unable to contact me. The cousin is here as well. In Melbourne, yes. And get some required reading and studying materials from the uni bookshop as well. First week of uni always feels relaxed and carefree. Then before you know it, it'll be finals and potential disaster repeating itself again. Not this time. Not anymore.

There're going to be more events and goings-on happening within IH with the CIA week coming to a rather unique close with the Booze Cruise on Saturday night. Come dressed as anything starting with the letter 'P' and you'll be all set for a raucous and raving night of drinking and partying. I don't know and don't think that I'll be dressing as anything close to a pirate, prostitute, Powerpuff Girl, pimp, princess, or even a pony. Just should be an interesting night to see how active and realistic one's imagination can be.

My eyes are getting and have been getting heavier by the hour since I touched down this morning at 7.15 with barely four hours sleep to get by this whole day or reconnecting with friends, cleaning the room, and unpacking belongings. Time for some rest. Night all.

full of myself

2006-07-15T23:47:00.000+10:00

Really couldn't be bothered to detail the past events and happenings that have been going on for the last week or so but for the sake of some readers who actually bother to visit and take a peek into my life as is, the following paragraphs are just a quick and very brief run through.

Last weekend was spent at a rented bungalow in Port Dickson where the family and relatives frolicked in the sun, sea, and sand, indulging in some isolated relaxed time, played card games and mahjong and had a barbeque on top of that. It was fun and cool. Not the most exciting thing ever but I kind of enjoyed it except for the mosquitoes biting us all in different places and lack of good television shows. That's the isolated life for you.

And just two days ago, I returned from a shopping escapade in Singapore with my mom and the cousin. Tiring but satisfying. Fullfiling yet exhaustive. Nabbed some good and delicious booty from the island down south which included a brand new pair of jeans, hand-painted shoes, three tops which I don't actually need but want coincidentally, underwear, a bright green iPod leather case, and brownies. Doesn't sound like much but it really was when you cross the coast with less than half a hand luggage bag and return home with it almost full to the brim.

So now I'm back and ready for some more expediting. Going to hit a few shopping malls that have been longing for my return, download the last bit of my new obsession called FMA, complete the resonant and complicated watching experience that is House, and begin on repacking and repackaging my life again to be flown back to the land down under this time in seven days.

The fun never stops now.

happy days

2006-07-02T14:00:00.000+10:00

Suppose now is a good time as any to return to the blogging routine after a week long break since being back home.

And what have I been up to for the whole week when I was not up and about flitting from shopping mall to flea market to visiting people; well KH2 of course. Odd isn't it. The first thing to get my whole mind and body wrapped upon is this particular PS2 game. It just ate up a whole week's worth of my precious time which could've been spent shopping, getting reacquainted with old friends, lounging round the house watching long awaited unwatched movies and television shows, and just relaxing to the fullest I can get out of this month long break before having to return for another semester worth of IH goings-on, tests, assignments, late night phone calls and IM-ing, and cramming sessions. I'm almost done with the game as you can tell since I actually have time to blog instead of spending hours just seated on the couch and trying to get past mindless minions of Heartless.

I was really supposed to begin my shopping venture today but due to a detour of having my wisdom tooth surgically removed yesterday, it's being postponed to another day. The right side of my face is pratically swollen to the point that I can hardly open my mouth without my whole jaw partially hurting as well. If I talk too fast, it even hurts as well to laugh. I'm being put on a partial liquid diet for the next few days till I get the stiches out next week which is when my results will be out too. The jitter bugs are getting to me already but I'm not going to let the nerves deter me from having a fulfilling second week of pure nothingness.

Alright so Spain got kicked out by France but there're still Portugal and the Italians to support. But I'm only approaching this with half-heartedness since the Spaniards are unfortunately out. The World Cup experience is almost over for me as of now. Ah well. That's football for you.

Relishing the precious moments I get to spend in my room now. Numerous items of mine are strewn all across the room as I have yet to fully clear them all and put them in their rightful places nor really settled into being "home" as of yet. I'm actually kind of missing the IH feeling where there're people around you all the time and that there's always something going on every hour in someone's room or in the JCR or dining hall or outside of IH walls. I'm only going to be away from IH for a month but it feels strangely longer than that. Imagine me getting all sentimental about not being in Melbourne. Weirder things have happened though. It's just a bit disconcerting to be in a place with only five other people around you when you've had about a hundred or so other people within walking distance of you for the past four months.

Most of the presents brough back have been given away already leaving a rather satisfied taste in my mouth. I felt a bit like Santa Claus then.

So far, the weather's been quite patient with me or maybe I'm the one who's being patient with the sweltering heat of day and night. I got a new camera to replace my old one. It's nice to feel slightly spoiled once in a while. Will be putting it to good use and fun when I get back to Melbourne life once more.

Anyway, time to leave you loyal and faithful readers of mine to your own lifes to be contented with now. Will be back with more news and hopefully better life stories to regale about.

return to the familiar

2006-06-23T23:28:00.000+10:00

In about twenty four hours or less, I'll be sweltering in the year round similar heat season, drowning myself in a refreshing cool, cold shower before finally slumping on my long-missed bed where I'll drift off peacefully into dreamless sleep for twelve hours covered under my sheets in my familiar air-conditioned room.

It's almost hard to believe that I'll be back home so soon. It almost feels like I never actually lived out of my home yet and that I'd been living on a very long extended holiday only. Perhaps it's just taking me a bit longer to soak it all in that I'm actually going home after being away from all things familiar for the longest time in my life. I sound so untraveled and feel like raw and fresh unadulterated meat being thrown into the cruel world where you get to meet some nice and cool people who carefully and painfully takes it in his stride to put in the time to guide you through the complex pathways and scary corridors of life. I think I'm getting the hang of packing smart and fitting my overgrown number of stuff into my luggage. I'm rather proud of myself on that note.

Returned from a Korean dinner with a group of us IH-ers in honour of one of our resident British IH-er leaving us this weekend to return to London and begin working at an internship of some sort on Monday morning as he'd be graduating this year already with a degree in science I believe. The British can be such wry humourist types really. Anywhos good luck and all the best for your future endeavours and plans, and go you for being all super smart and an all-rounder type as well. I predict that in five years time there'll be a newspaper article out in the Star proclaiming the next prodigious business man or earning a doctorate on some degree thing where the country will make proclamations on how he's half Malaysian which is true and that we're all really proud of what we can produce. Like hell, what happened to him being half British then? I'm just being all ranty again. I smell of barbeque. My hair stinks. But I couldn't be arsed to wash my hair this late in the night.

I really am going home tomorrow. Woot!

Oh yeah, exams are over too. It seemed like a big deal just a few days ago but now I'm just indifferent over it. How odd that just a few days can make one feel totally different over such a matter? Just give me a grace period of a few days before I'll begin stressing over the impending results being released very soon in a matter of weeks.

Football will return to my life once again after a four year break of deprivation. Will be rooting for Spain to take the cup this year. Finals here we come!

Less than a megabyte to go. Damn. My room looks empty and desolate right now. I hate it. I hate being in my room tonight. I can't stand rooms looking so vacant and devastatingly plain. Anyway, am done for the night. Will be blogging from my room back home come the next post. Hola and good night.

personal time zones

2006-06-15T23:43:00.000+10:00

Two down and two more to go. Time is passing by too slowly for my own and everyone's liking. The hours and seconds really do slow down during exam periods and everything else in the beginning of the semester till the week before SWOTVAC goes by in a second and a half. Just can't wait till the following Saturday after this weekend before I'll be cosying up in my own comfy bed, sipping 3-in-1 Ipoh White coffee, couching in the living room and enjoying football at its world best in the comfort of my own home.

For now, it's crunch time as I've got to focus the rest of my brain power to the last two papers of the final week of the exam period. Easier said than done.

The last three weeks have been spent couped up in the Peter Waylen tutorial room in IH where approximately four to six of us will gather in the bright sea blue walled room, every day and night to study, play, listen to music, and watch random video clips and animation thingies on our notebooks. It's got a lingering strange smell now, reason being the multitude of people moving in and out of the room every hour and in addition to the various food being eaten in it including pizza, almost every night, coffee, milo, tea, and an assortments of chips and biscuits. One could get really fat and stuffed from just hanging round there every day. That person would be me. The pounds have really been creeping up on me. Damn winter seasonal hunger pangs.

World Cup fever is here and well alive in IH as well what with the Australian team qualifying for the WC in what seemed forever. I'll be on the red and yellow side once again supporting the Spainiards as I did four years ago. As most would already know by now, of Spain's slaughtering of Ukraine where they went down crashing with 4-0. If only I had managed to watch it but alas no. Well, at least I can comfortably and confidently say that they would be able to get into future matches when I'll be back home enjoying the beautiful game. And I didn't know that there existed so many Iker Casillas fans in IH as well. Hooray for cute Spanish goalkeepers!

Moving away from the world of exams and football (not soccer, damn it!), life has been pretty interesting. A few people have permanently left IH already. Them being the Med students going off on their third year research study thing in the UK for a year before returning to the University of Melbourne to complete their degree but I doubt that they'd be coming back to IH. So, it's almost as if I might not see those two again. Unless of course I make the effort to visit them in either Penang or Singapore where I'm in the middle of the two places. Heh. The end of the semester is approaching with the exchange students leaving in about a week time. Most will be returning to the USA, China, Canada, Japan, or Britain. Must remember to get their contacts before they leave too. It gets quite depressing after a while when you see people you've just met and they're going already. Even though it's only been three months, it feels like you're known them for a year or so. I suppose time really does pass at different modes and phases in a college.

Speaking of college, the amount of people in IH has been reduced to about half the people as it used to be. The main reason would be the people leaving for greener pastures or yellow if you want, and also people finishing exams earlier and faster. By this time next week, there'll be only three 8-seater tables filled during meal times. And I'll be around to witness that. It's pretty sad. Hopefully my next semester's exam timetable won't be as skewed as this one. Oh man. I'm starting my quoting of random QM2 notes now. Perhaps, I should return to it soon.

Like now. On a last note, watch more football, dress warmly (if you're here down under), study hard but play harder, and will return with my last post before I leave for home next week. Ciao!

yields in life

2006-06-06T23:43:00.000+10:00

It's definitely an omen. Today's date I mean.

There's some times or moments in one's life when you have to suffer the worst mental breakdown in your life to actually get on with life. Last night was mine.

I really don't know what happened or what caused it to happen. Halfway through studying Business Finance in the tutorial room last night, I almost shed tears just because I was feeling the most pressure I've ever felt since...well, since never. I don't think I've ever felt this pressured; emotionally, physically and intellectually. Then when I returned to my room at round past midnight, my eyes started watering really badly and then before I knew it I was crying quite terribly and sobbing slightly while trying to hold it in when talking to my parents. I think I made them kind of worry about me a bit but it's all good and fine now. The worst has passed. I hope.

The worst outcome of all this is that there's no one else I really want to see or talk to besides my parents except for a certain crush of mine who doesn't even stay in IH or know me apart from my name, which makes the void all the more intolerable and painful to fill. The first person to appear in my mind when I wanted to talk and just spill my guts to someone was him. I don't even know him that well but there's something in me or him that makes me want to talk to him and just get to know him more. Like if I talked to or just see him today, I'd know that everything would be okay and alright. Which I did see him today but was too shy or slightly stunned from seeing him here of all days to actually approach him and just talk about today. Hopefully he'll rock up tomorrow for whatever reason and then I'd be able to say something at least for even a minute or five.

I blame my hormones acting and sneaking up on me. At the worst possible time.

So yes, the Business Finance final was held this morning. At the Royal Exhibition Building (REB). It was quite daunting, intimidating and I was too stunned or shellshocked from having to sit for an exam in such a venue to actually admire the surroundings articulately. It's a bloody musuem for heaven's sake. Complete with sky-grazing murals, endless hallways and all. The next three times that I'll be visiting the hallowed halls of horror won't be for entertaining educational purposes but for purely educational factoring reasons. The following sojourns to the REB won't be filled with remorse and grief but intrigue and awe at the architectural aspects of the place. It really is a nice looking place. Just not right now. Or for the next two and half weeks.

Allowed myself some time off today where I did my laundry, cleaned my room a bit, had tom yum soup, Thai salad, and sushi for lunch, and went to Safeway to stock up on even more chocolates and biscuits for whatever reasons they may be. It feels good. The therapeutic reasonings behind the freshly scented washed and dried clothes and spending money on unnecessary items like instant coffee and or chocolate for those late night cravings should be carefully examined. Bad on the purse strings but good on enlightening a stressed out girl who've just had a breakdown the previous night.

Soon it'll be another morning when it'll be time to pick myself up and continue on my panicky and unwittingly unfunny journey through the foggy and treachery mists of IFA, BPA, and QM2. I'm getting hungry again. It's the bloody cold weather tricking my body into thinking that I need more fuel also known as fats to be stored up for the hibernation period which humans generally don't need.

Thus end the rantings of one very agitated, pissed off, and conflicted female blogger. Shall return for more bitchings about men, smart-asses, and bad food causing me hunger pangs at the most inconvenient times.

rolling along

2006-06-01T01:04:00.000+10:00

SWOT VAC had officially begun four days ago but it would be almost a week for me from tomorrow as I had ended all my classes or lectures or tutorials that I was obligated to attend last Thursday.

It's been going fairly alright and interesting on my part. Did some soul searching, started on a new book, revised most of the lectures that I had neglected and had been intending to do so for some time, watched a movie, randomly joined study groups in the library and dining hall, and indulged in some dodgy gossiping and secret-revealing conversations.

Though not as scandalous or vivacious as it may sound, it was indeed a refreshing change from the constant and monotonous subject discussion of CAPM, Calls and Puts, Imputation Credit, WACC, and a multitude of other various Finance abbreviations being thrown around. It's come to that point where I actually feel really comfortable talking about my crushes; past, present and possibly future ones, without actually blushing to the limit where my cheeks actually feel hot to the touch. I finally got the courage to talk about my latest most embarrassing and traumatising dream to date, revealed my secret crush of the past two or three months, but have not admitted to the fact that I may or may not like this specific other guy because I'm not sure if he does anymore. And I'm pretty certain that he has moved on.

Nothing new there.

So moving on to the next topic of the general public's interest. X-Men 3. Watched it on Tuesday night at Hoyts at Melbourne Central with a group of people which consisted of a ratio of 2:3 girls to guys. It was my first cinema watching outing in the land down under and I was pleasantly surprised by how comfortable and cool the place was. The popcorn salty no doubt but it was a relatively more relaxing atmosphere as compared to back home where there'd be screaming kids along the aisles and handphones ringing incessantly throughout the movie. I don't think there was even an advertisment reminding us to switch our handphones off or put it on silent mode and I managed to get through the movie smoothly with no jarring ringing interruptions in my ears. Except for an ex IH-er who's apparently a fervent Wolverine fan who randomly hooted at Halle Berry everytime she appeared and held those disposable wooden chopsticks between his fingers ala Wolverine with his claws extende, and waved them in the air whenever Logan killed an enemy or generally did or said something cool.

I generally thought that the third installment of the X-Men franchise could have been a lot better considering that there was so much they could do with the abundance of character development; new and old, in the movie. I morosely lament the omission of what could have been an awesome cameo appearance of Gambit but it probably was for the best anyway because he wouldn't really have much to do in the movie as like the rest of the cast except for Logan, Ororo, and Hank McCoy. I don't want to spoil the movie for the ones who have not had the chance to watch it yet but do listen to everyone else. Stay for after the credits. It isn't that big of a deal to me but it does hint at a rather forthcoming idea.

The movie outing was probably the biggest thing to happen to me or here since I've arrived and done anything else outside of IH. That's how much my life has descended into the doldrums with the impending doom of the exams looming over my head. Stress levels high and rising with every passing day. Getting free chocolates at breakfast this week helps boost one's enthusiasm a bit but it just doesn't helps you dig your way through to getting an average of H1 does it? Maybe. We hope so.

Pancakes for breakfast at 9 later. Hoorah.

yes, i'm still here

2006-05-21T23:37:00.000+10:00

I really am. Though it sometimes feels like I'm not.

My mind is a jumbled up mess of thoughts and conflicting flurry of activities right now so I shall resort to penning down random current going-ons in my life right now.

Leave now if you don't want to squander away your precious five minutes or so of your time reading today's pathetic excuse of a blog entry. I really will make up for this in future posts. At least I hope so.

1. The inadequacy feeling is growing in me with every passing day. I must do better. No. I must and will do over and above what I can do best. I need to go for more motivation talks to improve on my own motivational suggestions.

2. Why can't people be more open about their own feelings to others? I hate deciphering cryptic body language and subtle speeches in random but discreetly intimate conversations.

3. I wish I was more open and forthcoming about my feelings too. Damn the hypocrisy.

4. The weather is getting really annoying and is giving me a headache.

5. I am most definitely gaining weight but I somehow don't see it materializing from the view point of the fitting of my jeans. I hope they're not expanding.

6. My internal body clock is confused and so am I.

7. Exams are approaching and I have yet to focus on them. To reiterate the first point; I must do well.

8. My second major "crush" is finally fading away slowly. I am glad for myself and contented for him.

9. I think my friends' intuition may be right about the third guy. But it can really go both ways.

10. My recent choice of clothes is reflective of my own general attitude these few days. That is laziness and disenchantment. Hoodies and sweats are staple choices of clothing for SWOTVAC.

Hence, ends this short hand version of an otherwise long winded rant post that I was supposed to pen down. Aren't you glad that you didn't waste your time reading this?

Oh, wait, you're still here?

gender-fiable

2006-05-17T22:41:00.000+10:00

Feeling a little light headed at the moment after dinner when I witnessed my first IH person-stuck-in-lift-event at the Scheps building which is five floors up for your information. Interesting experience trying to talk the stuck-ee into believing that the repair-man was getting the lift fixed as fast as he can and sang with her for a while to kill time before it got weird so we shut up.

Anyway. Exams. Tutorials. Assignments. The ending of a semester. Returning to Malaysia. It's all coming to a close too soon and way too fast. I wish I could stop time for a two months and savour all the time within that two months for as long as I want and can.

But alas, that is to never be.

Decided to make a random movie pit stop at one of the undergraduate lounges in Union House today around lunch time. We watched 'Transamerica'. And it was free. It was in conjunction with this 'Gender-f**ked' week thing organised by the uni Queer Department or Club. It was a good and entertaining one and a half hours spent chilling with twenty other people where the DVD kept hanging midway through the movie and the person with the iBook kept trying to get it to work again much to our dismay after the fifth time it froze in thirty minutes. In the end the DVD player didn't give us much problems and managed to finish it towards the end just in time for my next class.

It was my first real movie watching thing apart from the one during Easter break, so I feel more like I'm back home now chilling and watching movies with friends.

IH dinner was actually not bad, as in good, for the past two consecutive nights. Which is really a rare thing so is this a sign of good or worse things to come in the future? Hmm. Maybe I'm just thinking too deeply into this. Too full and feeling fat to function for now from indulging in carrot cake with sweet frosting and then taking in a waft of the leftover blue cheese left sitting in the dining hall after dinner.

Let's see what else have I been up to for the past few days. A friend in IH left IH just last week to return to Singapore to study fashion management after withdrawing from her UniMelb course of physiotherapy. Cafe is over. Period. I managed to salvage a souvenir which is currently hanging in my room. The IH photos will be delivered to us soon according to Pat so watch out for the serious photo which we look all nice and proper and the funny one which is just odd because I look the same in both pictures. But I'll still try to get both up in any case.

So, that's all for now. Oh yes, the 'situation' has improved ever so slightly. Talked to a couple of people about it here and there and did a little digging myself tonight and my heart feels less burdened now. Time to resume studying instead of rambling about non-related events happening in my IH life.

atmospheric circus acts

2006-05-06T19:11:00.000+10:00

For the past two weeks, my life seemed to have been revolving around all things to do with Cafe International in IH apart from the whole process of decorating and getting ready for the event, it had a carnival like feeling to it especially since the theme was 'The 70's Show'.

So yeah, what have I really been up to and doing for these few incognito weeks?

In a word, or maybe two and more, Cafe, assignments, studying, stress, and sorting out a-not-really-complicated situation but is anyway.

It seems like time is moving at an extraordinarily fast and slow pace at the same time for me now. Sometimes I would be studying in my room peacefully and in a non-stressing atmosphere, and I'd feel that time was passing by mildly slowly but insanely too fast at the same time for me to catch up on my work. Then, the next moment when I'm hanging out in the JCR or dining hall talking with friends and sharing tales of oddities in and out of IH and uni, time may and may not pass fast enough for me to relish those moments and savour the comfortable intimate thoughts that flash by me.

The stress factor is being upped on a daily and regular basis now with exams approaching and me having my first test in exactly a month time. On this basis, time is rushing way too fast for me to catch my breath or even my marks. By the time I realize it, I'd be done with my exams and on my flight back home to Malaysia.

Amazing.

Just when I'm getting really comfortable here in Melbourne, I have to get yanked back home. Not that I'm exactly complaining much but just that I just wish that I didn't have this exam barrier thing here where I can't and am not able to utilise my time fully here by spending it with friends and people that matter.

It's a double-edged sword, I tell you. I'm annoyed yet not entirely so that I wrap myself around it so much that I self-destruct and implode.

Ah, yes. My little not-that-complicated-situation but kind of is thing. I would like to talk about it but it's just too long winded for a blog to start off with. In short, I'm too tired and couldn't be damned or arsed to babble much on it. Let's just say that I'd really like to push it all away from my mind as far away as possible and just focus on my tests.

That's probably a good idea. I really need to concentrate and not have this burden or shadowy thoughts floating around me right now.

Excuse the disjointed thoughts accompanying this post. I went to bed at four this morning and woke up after less than six hours of sleep to continue with the setting up of the decorations in the JCR and dining hall, tables including cutlery, glasses, and plates, paper flowers, fancy napkins and cool 70's type floating candles in glasses, for the 'big' annual event thing in IH till dinner.

I decree myself officially an oddity which isn't too surprising but I'm only realising it fully now.

hurrying up life

2006-04-25T18:16:00.000+10:00

A holiday it is and was supposed to be today but I'm currently stuck in my quaint little and rather cosy room with lecture notes, tutorial questions to be completed, and a multitude of chapters to be read from thick text books.

What can I say or reflect on ANZAC Day other than that it's a public holiday and it's the first time in my life that I actually get a day off to commemorate this day or that I am obliged to do in this country? In any case, I haven't done anything worthy of admitting that I did commemorate this special day but let's have the obligatory prayer of silence at least.

...

There it's done. Or at least my part is.

I promise that I'll go visit the memorial park next year when I have a better appreciation for this day and it's meaning and all.

All the stories that I've been regaling about for the past weeks have momentarily subsided and come to a bland standstill with finals creeping up my back and into my head to eat me up and spit me out from the insides. It feels more like I'm back home now where I wake up, eat, study, complete assignments as much as I can before I retreat and copy other people's work, bum around, and pretty much not do anything substantially productive for the most of the weeks leading up to the exams. It actually feels regretfully comfortable and oddly nice.

In about two months time I'll be safely back in my own room and house and with family and friends. Can't believe that I could be so excited about that, even more so than the days leading up to the day that I would be coming here. I suppose it's the anticipation of looking forward to see if anything back home has changed or have I changed and whether things around me have improved or degraded. It's more of a reflection period than anything else I expect. And it would also truly be the first time that I'd be travelling to an international airport and boarding a plane by my lonesome with some 30 kilos of luggage and food to take back home as per requested by the family and additional gifts to friends.

The green stuff aka money is quickly being liquidated and converted into material things for which I actually don't really need but I comfort myself and justify the buys that I will use them and that they will come in useful one day. Or two. Then there's the previously mentioned presents to be bought for friends and family so there goes another dent added to my purse strings.

Imagine if I was actually living by myself in an apartment or with another person or two, I'd be even more strapped and tighter about cash than Vassi is particular about polishing the silverware and ensuring that the IH logos on the plates and cups face the same way when they're stacked up and arranged on the tray. Seriously.

Anyway, life is becoming a tad more comfortable now and I've managed to assimilate myself within the IH way of doing things and life as it is here. It's time for my daily hot shower and then dinner. I hope I won't be forced to toss my fourth bowl of soup down the drain again as I had done on three previous consecutive occassions.

utterly crashing forwards

2006-04-21T15:26:00.000+10:00

Returning from having Rossi's leftover lunch or cat food for lunch aka weird gooey and dodgy looking something that resembled pasta but probably is not, I'm feeling like having another Krispy Kreme doughnut but I really shouldn't as it's just going to go to my thighs. And I really do not need any added inches to them now.

Returned from Sydney last night on a twelve hour train ride where I managed to gobbled down two Krispy Kremes, a hot-cross bun, and half a fiction novel on the way. Slept maybe a total of six hours on the train which made up for the four or five hours sleep I got the morning before in Sharon's place where Veron and I crashed for the majority of our trip.

Spent quite a substantial amount of money on transport and food and clothes in Sydney which I'm feeling the pinch or punch in my purse strings now. Ouch. Got to cut down my coffee expenditure to a strict one regular cuppa a day instead of the occasional twice a day. I really couldn't be bothered to elaborate on our trip even though it really was fun and random and funny. The most part of our trip consisted mainly of shopping, eating Junda/Junde's grandmother's homecooked food at their place, staying a night at said place to watch Saw and Saw 2, indulging in seafood at the Sydney Fish Market, parading around Bondi Beach in our oh-so-scantily-clad bikinis, visiting USyd and getting a hoodie on the way, and gorging ourselves silly with Krispy Kremes doughnuts but not necessarily in that order.

Coming back to IH to such chilly weather is a shock to the system especially when Sydney was so warm and windy. It definitely feels closer to London weather now than ever. I really do not like this. I really got to concentrate as a friend just reminded me that finals are only six more weeks away and I've yet to seriously get down on my work and burn any midnight oils yet. There're two assignments due this week and the following week and then another in the middle of next month which isn't too far away. The level of stress is certainly escalating and ascending increasingly as I think about it now. There're too many thoughts in my mind now for me to even begin thinking about what's going to happen in the next day or so.

I don't want to think anymore. I want a Krispy Kreme. Like now. Now. When you can't think anymore when you've just had cat food for lunch reach for a sugary treat. Wish me luck.

ozzie in the making

2006-04-14T17:27:00.000+10:00

My IH room's never looked this empty before except for the first time I moved in here. I've packed most of my belongings and valuables in the cupboard and hopefully my room won't get rented out but if it does, then the temp visitors will have to be contented with sleeping on my unwashed bed covers and linen for the week.

Leaving for Sydney tonight on the overnight train. Should be fun as I haven't been on a train for almost ten years now. Actually I can't really recall the exact time span since I've even stepped on an actual train besides trams and LRTs and KTMs.

Anyway, midterms have come and gone. Didn't do well on one of them but am hoping that the second one went alright. One assignment down and two more to go after this Easter break. I'm actually bringing along part of my assignment notes to be continued in Sydney when I have time to do it and don't feel like doing the sight-seeing stuff and touristy attractions.

I won an Easter bunny soft toy complete with hollow chocolate egg at yesterday's dinner when Scolarest had a surprise for the last several stragglers of us still remaining in IH. It's pink and soft and to quote one of my friend's description of it, feels like cotton candy. I think it's a good start to my first real break from uni life, don't you. Even if it is for a week. Tiny chocolate eggs were distributed along with fruit salad dessert as well and we actually had grapes and kiwis in the fruit bowl yesterday night too. I managed to salvage a kiwi for my self before anyone else got it.

It's my first experience at seeing and being in IH when it's so empty since the beginning of the semester. Normally, there'll be heaps of people everywhere but it feels kind of nice I suppose not being around people constantly and them around you. It'll get even more empty and vacant towards tomorrow and Sunday.

Hopefully I can return to IH by this time next week or Saturday morning the latest to get my room, assignments, and life back in order again. And then it's normal uni life regaining momentum once again the following Monday.

I had three hot cross buns today and they were so good. I can't believe we only get them during Easter and not at anytime and everyday during the rest of the year. Alright, it's raining and getting chillier by the minute. I just need to tie up some loose ends before departing for the train station on Spencer Street. And I think I might have forgotten how to get there but no worries because I think my friend coming with me knows. Or at least I hope so.

I do have a map with me. I just refuse to use it because I'd look like a bloody tourist person when I'm really not anymore.

Speaking of getting lost, amusing or the least bad experience story for me but not for the people I tell it to. It was the first time I really got lost within the city area when I was trying to navigate my way through Lygon Street from Koko Black to Victoria Market and then to the Melbourne Uni Sports Centre for the intercollegiate girls volleyball final game where IH got it but managed second place only. Boo Trinity. Anyway, deviating from getting some really good and hot chocolate from Koko Black with a group of friends I tried to get back to the main road leading to the uni but got lost for about an hour until I finally decided to return to IH upon realization that I missed half of the game already. So walked another half hour back to Vic Market where I got a tram back to IH. Oh, and did I mention that in the morning when I was headed towards the city as well that the trams weren't operating as well so I basically had to walk another half hour midway to the city. All this is in a span of four hours I think on that very merry Sunday.

Have a good Easter.

wrongly satiated

2006-04-09T22:48:00.000+10:00

For once I actually and really don't have anything specific and special to post about. Yay for mediocre and laid-back blogging.

Returned from watching only partially of 'Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas' in the JCR as tonight was International Movie Night. I don't really know where the international part fit in but go movie night. It was partially interesting in the beginning but I got too lost in the weirdness, drug-ness, and drunkenness of Johnny Depp and Benicio Del Toro midway through and decided to retreat to the comfort and warmth of my room to, of all things, work on my QM2 assignment which isn't due until after Easter break. But seeing as I'll be away for the most part of Easter and I won't have time to properly work on it, I suppose it would be a good time as any to start on it now and not have to have this shadow looming over my mind when I try to shop and explore Sydney as much as I possibly can and enjoy my time with friends there.

So what am I really doing here typing out information as non-factly and useless as possible for strangers and some to read and mock me?

Probably just to dwell a little on a not-so-favourite topic of mine to begin with as I've barely or even never touched even so much on it before. But I suppose it's inevitable that I will begin talking about it when you come to stay in a place such as IH.

Now suppose that there was this guy that you first met in the first few weeks of O-week and he sort of impressed you a bit but you don't really know why and what made him have such an impact on you. You begin to look forward to the day that you get to see him again the following week for just three days and maybe on some nights when he feels exceptionally talky. He nods and says hi and hello to you when you both meet and yet it never really goes beyond that. We have little chats and make small talk and laugh about random things. You guess that he probably has a girlfriend already and your intuition is dead on right. So now he just seems like any ordinary guy you meet every week with no strings attached. And yet somehow your heart may skip a beat when he passes you at that same time and day every week.

I'm still rather confused with this one but I think I'm getting there to sorting it out. I'm alright. Really.

Then comes along another guy who seems to be the perfect embodiment of whom you'd think you'd get along really fine and well. He's talkative, intriguing, charming and witty. There seems to be some indication that he's that but still the fine line is blurred further when you see him with other people around. There're no concrete feelings attached as yet but you're just a little bit curious. He smiles at you in the halls and occasionally offers to make you a great cup of tea. Yet this just makes you all the more confused about what is happening or might happen. I'm in limbo but he might not be.

It's a blank.

I want to say that I get along with this guy the best but not right now. He's an oddity in himself and you don't know much about him but you know that he's genuine. He seems mildly interested in yourself and yet you can't bring yourself to admit that. You brush it off as nothing but friendly banter and yet again it could be really nothing. Both of you have talked on some random occasions where it felt light and free and cool. Still the question mark hangs over his head and yours is spinning.

Why do I have to start thinking about such matters at this time of when my grades and hopes and dreams are in danger and jeopardy of being tilted over the edge and I come crashing and burning in IH-hot-to-go style.

I hope tomorrow won't be too cold to walk. It shouldn't be though. I'm still deliberating over whether I should get a UniMelb hoodie. I am contented with my IH fleece hoodie and rugby jumper now but I could always use some new clothes. Anyone could.

Went out with a group of random old high school friends today and had a Koko Black Liquid Mocha aka hot dark chocolate which really was exceptionally good. Especially for weather like this. And still I decided to have vanilla ice-cream with milo and nuts for dessert tonight. My throat is so going to go tomorrow morning.

IFA midterm results will be out some time in the coming few days. I really have a bad feeling about it. Hope everyone else will have a good and better week than I will.

P.S.: Photos have ceased for the moment due to midterms and assignments. Hopefully I can reimburse this loss with photos in Sydney next week.

t'was the night before

2006-04-01T00:18:00.000+11:00

Once again try as I might, the collective thoughts in my head are struggling to get themselves together so that I might pen them down into coherent and structured sentences and not just some bogged and watered down version of what I really want to present and express fully.

The IH Ball was on yesterday night where cam-whoring, dancing, some drinking, and a whole bunch of other unmentionable stuff took place. Please forgive the slightly over-the-top poses struck in the pictures as I'm not used to such cam-whoring activities even though it was all in good fun and jest. The photos though were all taken during during the dinner at San Remo Ballroom about a ten minutes taxi ride from IH. The food was just above average than usual IH food fare and it had better be as it cost us $AUD50. In between the entree, main course and dessert, all of us just basically went to find people to snap photos, admire each others' outfits, and dance and drink the night away. I didn't though as I get quite red in the face and I wouldn't want that appearing in the photos. Besides that, people talked, people shouted a little, got a bit tipsy and proceeded to hook up with each other and some other little stuff as well.

At about eleven the shuttle bus was here to escort the party-goers who bought the ticket which cost $AUD20 to attend the after-party at Velour Bar. Half-filled with skeptism and cynicism when I forked out $AUD70 about a week ago to get my tickets, I was actually excited to check out the club slash bar. Not to get high and pissed but to probably see other people get high and pissed. As usual, upon arrival we were greeted with a wave of smoke and darkness with a smattering of strobe lights and disco balls to match encapsulating the place. IH actually had the basement reserved for us exclusively and free flow of drinks was available all night long that is until the tap ran out close to after two in the morning later. I should get a shirt that says, "I went for the IH after-party and all I got was this lousy shirt and watered down vodka and sprite." The line was so packed and long when the second shuttle bus to bring us there arrived at the bar. Not complaining that I didn't get wasted or anything but I just would have liked to get my money's worth of drinks. In hindsight, I suppose it was good that I didn't get too many drinks to get me high and not remember the night before. I think most people know for a fact that I do not dance but last night was quite the exception. The music wasn't great so occasionally a bunch of us would sneak upstairs to the main dance floor where the music was so much more dance-able and better.

I don't know if I would want to go for another clubbing session like that again but we will see in the future. After two and nearly to three, our group made our way back to IH where a floor-mate from the other side of the building on my floor helped us order a pepperoni pizza as we were hungry and he was also getting something in too from the nearest pizza place. The pizza arrived where we were later joined by two more guys bringing MeeG aka mee goreng and overnight roast chicken with Nando's Perri Perri sauce. Hanging out in my room, because I was touted as having the biggest room among the group, and talking about the night was interesting. Highlights included recapping about the people who hooked up with each other and impliedly guessing as to what was going to happen after the party when they've had a little too much to drink. Actually seeing people making out right in front of you or next to you was a rather surreal moment for me. Not ot be rude, but prying your eyes away from them is actually a little harder than I thought but thankfully I didn't see a lot of them unlike some of my friends. The drama ensuing during the night was interesting and a bit overwhelming for the people involved in the drama. Gossiping about other IH-ers within the confines of my room was a light and slightly noisy affair which ended a little after five which I then said goodbyes and then went directly to bed.

To which I woke up for lunch at one thirty after seven and a half hours of sleep. There was supposed to be a group assignment discussion at uni today at eleven to which the other group member living in IH too and went for the ball and after-party reluctantly and quite guiltily asked to postpone our meeting to Monday. I feel really bad for doing that. This is what is going to happen more frequently if I keep going on like this.

So how was your week?

Assignments are building up gradually much to my and the rest of the residents' dismay here. Midterms abound as well for me as I have one coming up on Wednesday and another one the following Wednesday before departing for Easter break in Sydney. We actually have a foreign language tutorial program going on in the tutorial rooms currently and I attended my first Japanese tutorial on Monday learning some basic Japanese phrases and greetings to which I mostly know all already due to my incessant watching of anime shows. TV-watching always and consistently displays its worth every now and then.

The pressure of not falling behind in your studies is getting to me now. It seems that every single person here is either being funded by a scholarship or they're just really smart but know how to divide their time for fun and study and anything else in between. It's an inadequacy syndrome feeling where I don't feel like I really belong here among the elite of genius-ity here. It's like I just wish I could say I got a TER of 98.5% instead of my own 91.0% and that I'm here because of a scholarship award instead of being a full-fee paying international student. It's my own egoist maniacal personality surfacing where I just have to and got to be up there instead of where I am now which is not too bad really. I knew that IH had a lot of intelligent and talented people before I came here but I had no idea as to the extent of how they can balance that whole smart, cool, and incredible parts of their lives. It's kind of a double-edged sword thing where I do feell blessed and lucky to be here but also that I don't feel like I trully and fully deserve to be here.

The final of my compulsory self-help shift tomorrow at eleven. I can finally return to my normal weekend sleeping pattern starting next week. The weather is turning a little nutty now where it was just chilly and cold for the whole day and night now. I don't want to turn on the heater because it would just dry me out so I shall huddle within the warmth and comfort of my blanket now.

rippling effects

2006-03-21T21:44:00.000+11:00

A month has passed since I departed from Malaysia. Not exactly a tumultuous or extremely celebratory event but a special moment to be treasured I suppose. I somehow love doing these one-month annivesary things to cap it off and move on to another month and so on.

My mind is clogged once again with so many things and people and topics and random oddities I've learnt from, be awed by, charmed off, and appreciate the little and big things in life and within the crazy octagon or heptagon walls of International House which will be known as IH from now on therein.

Happy belated St. Patrick's Day (and to you too Pat, who is IH Student Council's Vice President and hails from Klang. At least I think so.) to everyone who is Irish or non-Irish. It was the first time I myself made time to celebrate this green day of festive drinking and making merry just for the sake of it. The meaning of St. Pat's Day got lost throughout the years with hordes of people skowing beer and drinking beer and enjoy getting pissed and drunk in the name of Pat. A small entourage of us journeyed to 'Puggs' which claims to be the quintessential Irish pub where we, five or six girls with a male escort, waited in line to get in for almost more than an hour just to get squashed in the two-storeys pub with sticky and gooey textured floor carpeting and swaying away to some local band playing rehashed American songs and definitely non-Irish music as far as I know. It was a good experience which I don't think I plan on reliving it anytime soon and it only cost me AUD$5 that night. Decked out in green and sipping cocktailed beer. On another note, walking home with two wasted and drunk guys randomly shouting at passing cars and even denting the hood of a parked car was both funny and scary at the same time. Scarily funny is not something one should do on a daily basis. Take note.

There's just too much to say about the medley of people and different cultures and habits and speeches coming together in a place like IH. I want to invite everyone I know to come here for just two nights and experience what it feels to be an IHer. I had thought that it would be difficult of a transition to come here and feel at home considering I am still but not so much missing my life back in Malaysia. Surprisingly it was not and I really do love waking in the morning to chilling coldness, being shocked at the appearance of another human at the entrance on the way to the toilet, getting brekkie in the dining hall, which usually consists of toasts or cereal and on Sunday we get brunch which is actually quite good, and making small but interesting talks with different people every other day, before making my way to uni along the sun drenched pathways. Returning from the humdrum of lectures and tutorials, I walk into people in the foyer where we talk some more and maybe read the headlines in the Junior Common Room, which will also be from now on declared the JCR, and chat with more newly made and met friends for almost an hour or so before retiring in my room. Dinner is somewhat a mundane affair now as we've gotten used to wearing our academic gowns to dinner every Tuesday and Thursday evenings while Monday and Wednesday is more of a casual dining thing. Then come Friday where it's my official once fortnightly laundry and cleaning and vacuuming the room day. Occasionally I do venture out from my comfort IH zone and into the city where the streets and roads are a labyrinth of mazes and hieroglyphics to me and only me and I always need someone with me to guide me through the trams and public transport. At five pm every Friday for the next eight weeks I have self-help dining duties where I just basically wipe tables, help around the kitchen a bit and annoy the weekend peer supervisor, kitchen staff and chef while dolling out food for ravishly hungry residents of IH as they bring their tray along the assembly line. Saturdays and Sundays are relaxing and fun days as I never know what the next weekend might bring me. The week repeats itself again but without the monotony that I always get back home.

I still can't believe that I'm here and really here. I need a moment of silence to reflect and record it all mentally.

Now that that's done. Dutch National Night! To say the least, it was great, awesome and a whole lot of fun. Choir was good and so was the rest of the performances including Pat's skit titled 'What Google has to say about Dutch Culture', another hilarious and maybe slightly too mean for words skit describing Dutch's 'titi' culture aka prostitution, marijuana, and cheese, Dutch dancing, and slave auctioning off the O-weekers. Food was pretty alright considering it was Eurest which provided it. The Dutch pudding magically disappeared though I don't know if there is such a thing as Dutch pudding. However I do know there is such a thing as Dutch potato patties and that was good along with the red cabbage which was shockingly the best thing out of the entire meal. Granted, I was left still feeling hungry even after the cheeses and crackers and pumpernickle bread which was not so good. The after-party was held in this basement slash cellar under the dining hall which I never knew existed till that night. Never knew that there were so many IH dancers that could actually move but nothing really surprises me anymore since coming here. All in all, I want to do National Night all over again and yay for another one next semester. I hope it'll be a good country again.

I just realized that I'm joining and taking up quite a few stuff now. Even if it is just the first month, it all seems pretty overwhelming yet I want to do more. Odd. Signed myself up on the deco team for Cafe International which is one and a half month away and which Ling calls it "National Night on steroids!". Should be good stuff. There's this other club in uni that I've joined as well called AIESEC which is actually quite interesting. Well, the most attractive part of it is actually the internship program part of it which is what they really are about. It's really quite complicated and hard to explain so will leave it at that till I actually do something substantial or worth telling about.

The IH Ball themed 'Viva Las Vegas', is coming up as well on next Thursday and I'm so grateful that I don't have classes the next day unlike some unlucky souls. The dress thing is currently pending and am planning on browsing or shopping for a proper and affordable one on Friday at Myers. Otherwise it'll be a repeat dress from last CNY's.

Come Easter break, Sharon will get a visit from my friend and I for about a week in Sydney. Will be traveling on the overnight train so should be an interesting and cool trip. Following directly after that, am planning on going for an AIESEC State Conference trip which goes on for three days and two nights and is held on the last weekend of Easter break before returning to uni. Hopefully the conference will be good and interesting fun as well. I can feel the money evaporating as I think about the plans and events that I have for the next month or so.

It's been the longest I've ever gone without watching TV and for that I feel so proud of myself. There's an IH photo session at seven in the morning tomorrow where we bring our academic gowns for the serious shot and random stuff for the fun shot. Whatever the random stuff that may be I still don't know. I just don't want to look too sleepy in the photo.

It's about time I start on my tutorials once more and more reading of BusFi, IFA, BPA, and QM2 lecture notes and additional textbooks readings. Don't bother asking me about those acronyms because they're just boring stuff.

Lastly, I just want to make passing mentions that the photo is of the State Victorian Library located along Swanston Street, I think.
There are two guys named James here who are probably the only guys that have captured my attention so far. Damn my infatuation with the British born and boyish good looks.

jitters among other things

2006-03-12T13:41:00.000+11:00

Abode to the best hot chocolate, chocolate fondue, signature 'suckao', and everything that has to do with chocolate in the world.

The pictures I post up here are getting pretty much less people oriented. But I will try to get something more interesting by next week's Dutch National Night event thing. Oh, I so dearly wish I could let you guys back home watch me get embarrassed and mocked at by attempting to sing the Dutch national anthem in front of the entire dining hall audience. Whatever happened to the sardonic and passive self in me of yesteryears?

Just passing some time after indulging in a brunch this early morning cum late afternoon session. Food is starting to become a pretty monotonous affair of late except for Friday's 'nasi lemak' dinner which was pretty alright but the non-appearance of the 'sambal' disappointed a little. The curry was bland as in not spicy but tasted okay. The 'ikan bilis' and peanuts were the best part along with the coconut rice. It was pretty funny looking at the reactions of the local people when they saw the 'ikan bilis' or fried anchovies for the first time, I gather and turning them away with gross misconception and disgust to instead go for the other mediocre option of fish and chips. That night was also my first 3-hour 'self-help' session in the dining hall and kitchen duty. It was not as bad as I had imagined it to be but I was pretty worn out after wiping tables, polishing silverware, and serving mounds of rice on famished diners' plates.

I'm beginning to feel more like a regular Melbourne-ite now with traveling up and down from Swanston Street to Bourke Street and Bridge Road now. I have still got to get my hand around navigating the tram stops and trains but it's not so foreign to me now as it was about three weeks ago. It's not even a month that I've been here and I'm already boasting about myself being all city savvy. The unpretentious confidence in my is surfacing way too fast now.

Oh what else to regale about my tales in the city? A group of friends where I was the odd one out or rather I felt like I was managed to get some pretty random stuff at an auction held in a church on Swanston yesterday night where I came out with a mini shelf like thing, two second hand books, and a tissue box cover thing. The rest of us got two table lamps, some cooking utensils and things like that and four ring bind folders. So we were pretty much walking along the streets at night around ten holding all these random stuff and people were staring at us thinking we were refugees or homeless students who couldn't pay the rent and got kicked out of our apartment. The randomness of it all was just too weird and an oddity to pass up. I should've brought my camera along.

My room is probably about 30 degrees and rising as I write this. I have about a metre high of books to cover by tonight. The air-conditioning in the library and computer lab are my friends. I want to talk to old friends and not do my tutes. My tutors and lecturers are weird people and one of them creeps me out a little as I don't really know what to make of him. But he's nice still. Really.

Tomorrow's agenda include maybe catching the Moomba Parade along Swanston Street in the city at eleven in the morning before my lectures at one in the aft, enquiring about the invoicing of my year-long stay here in IH, and seeking to swap my self-help times with someone in the weekend as the weekend dining supervisor guy is nicer and more approachable than the regular lady one during the week as he was the one who let me off half an hour earlier on Friday. She scares me. And so does everyone else new to this who've worked under her this week. Did I mention that he's also an RMIT student studying aerospace engineering and management at the same time during the weekdays? Cool.

pressure cooked

2006-03-08T22:24:00.000+11:00

Television is beginning to be something of a foreign entity to me now. I don't think I could even begin to tell you who won the Oscars the other night or who wore what and what's happening in the latest season of Lost or House. It's like no one even bothers with TV here where back home, everything revolves around the idiot box.

I kind of love it but hate it as well. Will get back on that to reconfirm feelings about lack of TV watching since I arrived here.

There're so many things I want to say yet I can't recall most of them. The little bits of information are probably lodged in the back of my head where I just have to dig them up someday and put them into comprehensible sentences known to humankind. So far, I've been singing in the IH choir where we're going to be performing the Dutch national anthem titled 'Wilhelmus van Nassouwe' on National Night which is a week from tomorrow and I have no idea whatsoever as to how we'll sound like come Thursday night. Went to my first house warming cum drinking party and discovered more long lost high school seniors on the way. Begun reading up on lecture notes, long and droning text books, and half-heartedly finishing up tutes. The laundry basket is piling up with dirt-sodden clothes while the room's dark corners are collecting dust. Attended the first official High Table dinner last Thursday night where I donned my first academic gown thing and actually sat down to a proper sit-down dinner where we were nicely served to. So, yes, to answer the all holy question of whether I'm doing fine; it is an affirmative 'Yes'.

The homesickness feeling is starting to sink in now. It's not like I'm thoroughly missing home but just the familiarity of home. Trying to find your place here and where you actually fit in is a challenge but a cool and exciting one at that. I can feel my stomach expanding with every passing morning I wake up to but I'm not one who will go join a gym just to loose a few pounds but have fifty strangers looking at me attempting the weights and thigh-firming machine.

Thick and newly purchased and falsified "new" edition textbooks are calling out to me to peruse through them for the night. Heard a juicy gossip back at the house warming party where a Fresher got laid with an O-weeker behind a garbage dump on one of the nights during O-week and there was some alcohol involved.

Cool. Yeah.

foreigner in a native land

2006-03-03T18:23:00.000+11:00

That's what I feel sometimes. I may have mentioned this before that there're a lot of Asians in where I stay where half of the inhabitants in IH are from the land of black hair and yellow skin. Sometimes on and off again I'll hear someone speaking in the Australian slang with 'cunt' and 'Puggs' and then he'll be speaking in Cantonese or Hokkien the next second with some 'lahs' and 'mahai' thrown in altogether. It can get a bit weird as even with different cultures and people all around here, it still somehow twistedly feels a little bit like back home.

Today is officially my first "Off Day" from everything IH and uni. I have absolutely no plans to boast off and am concentrating on cleaning my room and catching up on some reading of lecture notes and pretending to do my tutorials. I have a list of reading materials to do before next week and my text books I asked my parents to airmail to me here will only arrive on Tuesday. I suppose it's about time I visit the library for a while if only to flaunt my stature as a hardworking uni student who finally can map her way through the Union House, Baillieu Library building, Sydney Myer Asia Centre, and actually know where the Copland Theatre and Old Arts building are located.

There're just too many things that have passed and happened in the past week. I really want to purge them out into comprehensible sentences where I can happily relate my new found experiences here but so far it's not been working too well. Met old and new friends in and out of uni and within IH. Trying to warm myself up with the cat even though he's resisted my trying to carry him. Visited three ex-IHers in their all-guy and messy apartment which I love but don't think can afford to stay. Indulged in two random trips for the best gelato I have ever had in two consecutive nights. Who knew fruity flavoured and green tea gelato could taste so good? Had my first formal and official IH dinner last night whilst donning a slightly oversized academic gown. I think I probably walked more in this week alone than I have ever done in five years back home. Am still trying to not convert the money spent back to ringgit or not I'll be bare foot and naked by the end of the year. I'm missing my car where I can just drive myself freely to 1U or Mid Valley for a movie or whatever. It's not homesickness getting to me but transport-disabled-ness. Navigating through the tram routes and stops is a pain in the arse for me so am very afraid of taking trams by my lonesome for now. Did an impulsive visit to a family friend's house and returned with a bagful of peaches and freshly picked pears.

Plan-less and numb-less again. Hoping to go crash a party or just go out and discover Melbourne. Or at the very least find out where Max Brenner actually is and try out the best chocolate place ever.

walking a mile

2006-02-27T22:41:00.000+11:00

Lectures began today. O-week officially ended yesterday night with a Toga Party at the JCR or Junior Common Room, for those not in the know of all the abreviations in IH.

Crashed my first Toga Party last night mid-way through where everyone was already in their toga togs and milling outside the JCR. Drinks flowed; alcoholic and non. People dancing to weird and often times crappy music. To me that is. Met some more new people. Forgotten some names and learnt new ones. Certain people made me raise an eyebrow or two while others were really cool and nice. Funky hairdos on guys are awesome.

University is big. The halls are huge. So unlike those back home. There're tons of people here at IH. A little homesick for my car, Astro, my room and walking around barefoot around the house. But slowly easing and adjusting myself into it. Still in the midst of sorting things out. Haven't paid the IH fees yet though. Red tape around here is quite tough so ploughing through it is exhausting.

Had a cute coffee and cake thing with the Head of College and Deputy Head after dinner in the evening and met Hildi, a short hair German dog. She's adorable and nearing her eleventh birthday soon. The house she's staying in is really nice and cosy. Makes me miss my own house so much now.

Afternoon lectures tomorrow so get to sleep in a bit before sneaking in some breakfast at the last minute just before half past nine. Met two old SAM friends at uni too. Will hopefully get to meet more people soon. But meeting people at uni is hard as you only get to see them once a week or so and you have to move on to your next class again. So I think a bulk of my friends will probably be coming from IH.

Though with so many people here, it is a bit difficult to remember names but faces are alright. I hate the fact that I arrived so late so it's like I feel slightly isolated because I was late and didn't get to know as many people as I'd liked to. Me and my insecurities.

Sorry for the scattered thoughts being penned down now. My brain is running all over the place now. My room is not as messy as before so that's better. Need to get laundry from dryer machine now before my clothes shrink.

Oh, and that's not the IH way to be so homesick for being away less than a week!

y'alright mate

2006-02-23T20:16:00.000+11:00

It really happened. I'm really here. I'm real. This is real.

Yeah. Sorry for the vague expression of feelings. Just kind of washed over with everything right now. The environment, people, weather, and all are a bit overwhelming at the moment considering I just arrived in Melbourne just two days ago. Takes a bit to get the out-of-place feeling over with but no biggie.

International House is almost everything I imagined it to be. Homey, warm, woody, fun, lively greenery, and houses some of the most amazing and craziest people you'll ever meet under one roof. My room is just slightly smaller than my room back home and am making the best of it by filling the tables and closet up with stuff. Hangers, boxes, and a jug of water are a girl's best friend for now.

The only problem I have with the place is that my room is located on the fourth floor on my block and the furthest away from the stairs. There is a lift that we can take but it's scary at night. I try not to take it if I can and if I'm not too tired after walking back from the university which is a twenty minutes walk away. The common bathroom and toilets were expected but so far there're no unwanted and unexpected partial or even full nudity being exposed while on your way out after a refreshing shower.

The sun is setting beautifully just outide my room window. It's past eight but still so bright and warm. The university campus is everything that I had envisioned the University of Melbourne to be. The place is huge spanning almost a smallish town with almost thirty buildings everywhere and students sun-tanning on green lawns, chilling under trees, and soaking in the atmosphere that is Orientation Week or simply O-Week. I've only been there twice so far. Will be returning there in the early morning tomorrow to complete the enrolment process and find out what else I need to do later on. The place has everything you could possibly need and maybe not want but still would want it. Planning on trying out the sushi bar on campus next week. The aroma of the sushi was just too tempting to not refuse a taste when passing through the Union House.

Have not gotten a local number to be contacted yet. The priviledged few to get my number will be honoured with it soon. I hope.

Anyway, have to go get my laundry from the dryer now. Rossi, the IH house cat, will get a visit from the happy photo snapping one soon. Happy life, everyone.

kleptomatic memorist

2006-02-20T16:37:00.000+11:00

Will keep this short and brief.

The last post on homeland soil before hamming it up and maybe doing most of the things that I've been doing here except on foreign land. Land of roos, koalas, four-seasons-a-day weather, and new people with diverse backgrounds, here I come!

Originally, I had wanted to write a post pertaining to the multitudes of snapshots that I had taken of my packing process but I couldn't be bothered now to dig up the camera cable to upload the photos. So this will have to do.

My room is moderately messy and clean now thanks to the emptying of myself over the past two days. The closet seems almost bare except for some clothes that I haven't worn in more than two years or more. Managed to finally get the luggage weight down to between 30 to 32 kilograms so that will have to do for now. Think I'm mostly done now. Just taking the time to relax in my room and appreciate it before I leave as it'll be the longest time I'll ever be away from home and all things familiar.

I'm pretty pissed that I can't take my favourite packet drinks and food stuff over there concerning the extremely rigid and strict laws about bringing in food from overseas. I think the things that I'll miss most from home will be my books, Astro, living room, and my own room. Pretty materialistic but that's what I'm feeling right now.

Anyway, in approximately nineteen hours or less from this moment, I'd have landed on Australian ground and embarking on a brand new phase of life. Can't wait.

Any takers on betting whether I'm going to cry or not?

pitstops in the soundtrack to my life

2006-02-18T16:42:00.000+11:00

Listening: Hard Times by eastmountainsouth

Exciting and tumultous and exhilirating my week may not have been but so what. Reflective, enjoyable, relaxing, laziness, and appreciative are the things I love.

So it may not be everyone's cup of tea or coffee depending if you're a coffee or tea lover, but the week's been spent and went by with DVDs, zoning out to music from original soundtracks either from TV, movies, or anime shows, and reading in bed. It's about all the 'me' time I can take and fully appreciate before I'll be barraged and suffocated by a hundred and more people everywhere in about 72 hours time. The nerves are getting tingly. I don't know if it's from my morning coffee or if it's really me getting a minor anxiety attack from the reality that I'll be leaving soon. 72 hours.

Listening: Crossroad by Yui

Yesterday's evening was enjoyably spent with a small group of friends comprising of Adelynn, Kimmy, Pui Yen, and then shortly after, Sharon, over a big dinner at Italiannies. Count three entrees of the calamari salad I always get when I go there, roast chicken with one of the best-tasting sauce I've ever had, and a pizza pie of half pepperoni and half classic. Satisfying but not too much that I'd want to puke if I had to eat a strawberry cheesecake for dessert. Conversations flowed and so did silly and embarrassing songs throughout the restaurant. Fortunately there were too many people indulging in their own dinners to notice the din that some of us made.

I've always liked smaller or smallish gatherings simply because with a large group you can't always get to talk with another person or two as closely or intimately as you want without another person interrupting in the conversation mid-way through the juicy part. I don't know if others feel about it the same way as I do but what the heck, eh.

Listening: Thirteen by Wilco

I really don't know what I'd do without the comfort of DVDs and music. I did promise some reviews right? Anyway, without giving too much away to fans alike, Nip/Tuck Season 3 was alright. In a good way. I mean, I think I prefered watching the second season more because the shock factors just kept on coming with every passing episode but in the following season, there weren't much in that department and rather concentrated on character developments which isn't a bad thing but that I just kind of missed those 'Oh My God' moments.

Listening: In the Moonlight from Gravitation OST

Aside from watching Bleach, I do diverge and watch other shows in case you didn't know. 'Gravitation' was one of them and I love it. Might not be other people's cups of tea or coffee or chocolate too but it is a lovely, funny, hilarious, and touching simple and short anime show. I can't get over how addictive the soundtracks from the show are no matter how cheesy and J-popish and J-rockish they sound. I don't really know if it's because I watched the show and then I only liked the songs or if I really do like it even if I never watched or heard of the show. No matter.

You can never go wrong with pretty boys in a slightly crazy and wild environment where despite the lack of drums and a bass, you can still make great music with a guitarist and synthesizer. A lazy afternoon is all you need to polish of thirteen episodes of the show along with two OVAs if you're still interested. My enthusiasm for the show has dissipated slightly but I really was a bit over the edge and bordering on obsession with this show too just a week ago.

Listening: The Good Kind by The Wreckers

If you're looking for life-affirming and feel-good movies, don't expect to look for it too deeply in 'Elizabethtown'. I mean it wasn't bad nor was it great. It was fairly satisfying like a meal that you thought you would be totally happy with but ended up to be mediocre fare that left a slightly bad taste in your mouth when you leave the place.

That pretty much sums up my summary and review of the movie even though Orlando was pretty and all. The redeeming factor was the beautiful and often times soothing soundtracks to the movie which I fell for. Just watch it for the sounds if not at all.

Listening: Jesus was a Crossmaker by The Hollies

Hours seem to pass by slowly and sometimes faster than usual in the home. Maybe I'm just being all appreciative and taking in the smells and atmosphere of the house that I won't be in for the longest time I'll ever have to be away. I keep telling myself that it's nothing big and that it's not permanent and stuff but the niggling feeling that keeps reminding me over how a different phase of life is starting soon keeps me feeling constantly in conflict. The contradictment of feelings starts to numb me and then I don't know what or how to feel anymore.

Sometimes people like to keep their lawns neat and clean to detract the neighbours from seeing the messy and screwed up interiors of the house.

my sitcom life

2006-02-15T00:21:00.000+11:00

If only life was a sitcom. Just something I've been thinking about since watching a weird episode of 'Scrubs' where J.D. imagined how life would be in a sitcom type world where everything is bright, dandy, and comes out alright in the end no matter what.

But that's what sitcoms are all about, isn't it? To make people feel good and happy when their own lives don't quite resemble those on television.

I've got this annoying aching pain in my chin and on the right side of my jaw. Might be my wisdom tooth trying to force its way out. Nothing a dentist check up won't fix tomorrow morning. It's not excruciating pain but more like a stupid nagging pain that won't go away no matter how much I massage and fool myself into believing that it's nothing anyway. Kind of like a mother's nagging.

Anyway, happy Valentine's to everyone and hope you had a good one.

I've made my way through two DVD discs of 'Nip/Tuck' already and so far Christian's been an asshole, Sean a whining bitch, and Matt looking more like Michael Jackson with every passing episode. It's good to know that some things don't change, eh?

*Cue laugh track*

allusions to a dream

2006-02-13T01:31:00.000+11:00

Today or rather in the early wee hours in the morning, was one of the oddest way that I ushered in the annual recognition of the day that I was born. I am officially 20 years young. Yep. The teen years have passed and I should be able to legally run away from home without being hunted down by the police or everyone else. Or at least I should like to think that I can do that. I mean, I'm sure somewhere in this world you're able to do that.

Anyway, the day before was my dad's annual-ish open house thingy where he invites his office staff people and friends with their own families to come to our house and feast and talk and drink and be merry. Of course, we had our own side of relatives in the family to come too and that was all fine and good. Somehow this year, there seemed to be a whole lot more kids than usual to deal with. Well, on my part that is. The last few years, there seemed to be only about ten of the little ones running all over the house but yesterday the number seemed to have tripled and the house seemed to have been turned upside down with just their shrill screams and screechy shouts. Just looking at them was enough to force me to retreat to the sanctuary of my room.

I don't know if it is just me or maybe there're similar people who can't deal with so many kids at one time too but yesterday night's event just made me realise that reality. However, coping with two young children made me realise something else too. They were two of the most talkative, questioning, and curious kids I might have ever come across till now. I was beaten in a weird animal/checkers board game by a nine-year-old boy who loves reading, plays Black Jack and Diner Dash, generally dislikes watching cartoons, and claims to have tuition everyday. Not once, but twice beaten I was. Oh the humanity of it all! The other kid was a smallish girl who has more energy than compacted radioactive, stays up till 4 am, and tries her best to learn as many new games and things as she can. Maybe it was just me being nice and hostess-like but I just let them follow me towards the end of the night till 2 am plus before I crashed myself into the comfort of my bed and slept the rest of the day away till almost twelve noon.

This is a really strange thing to say even by my standards but if and when I get kids someday, I hope they would be like them as well.

That's that. Other than that it was a rather fruitful and productive day. I got a hair cut and a french pedicure. I love how impeccable and neat my toes look. Just wondering how long I can keep the look clean and unchipped before I'll have to remove the polish myself. And well as you can see below evident of my growing self-vanity, are the before and after photos of my the result of the hair cut. I kind of like it and don't too. I can't explain it but it just resembles my old cut except that it's just shorter than usual. I was almost expecting something totally different but I didn't have the enthusiasm to tell the stylist what I wanted exactly. So, yeah, I ended up with the safe style but it's alright.

This will be the first and last time I cam-whore. At least I'd like to think so. I like the before shot one over the after, don't you? In other news, I'm feeling really stuffed still after some hours ago from a full dinner. No, really can't you tell that that's a forced smile?

Well, well-wishers have come and gone and I'm really thankful and grateful for them. Should I request a present from my dad? One side is saying to go ahead, while the other says no. The dilemma of being a filial daughter.

Anyway, only eight more days before departure. The excitement and tension should be insurmountable by now. I'll give it a few more days. Watch out for reviews on 'Gravitation', 'Elizabethtown', and season three of 'Nip/Tuck' in the next few days or so. Love the first mentioned one but have yet to plow through the last two.