Tuesday, November 29, 2005 | 19:03
phishing around
This is a short one. My attention span isn't what it used to be. I really want to spill and lay myself bare about all the frustration and anxiety I'm feeling right now but if I do, I'm afraid it might explode all too soon and quick for me to realize the impact.

Management is at an all time down period for me. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I'm so glad today was the last Management tutorial before the final next week. I can't even express how relieved I really am feeling and relishing now. I just want to forget that this whole nightmarish subject, lecturer and tutor, tutorials and lectures ever happened this past seven to eight weeks.

I've been feeling a pang of jealousy towards someone I won't mention here. I feel bad and evil for doing that. This is in no way insulting or intending to offend you. I just need to say this or not I'd go mad sooner or later. Why did things have to turn out this way? I always seem to be the person in last place next to everyone else when we all did the same things and worked just as hard.

I'm starting to give up. There's no point in me fighting this anymore. I just have to take it as it goes and let everything happen as God intended them to be so. I retreat. The white flag is up and resignation couldn't come at a better time.
Jill |


Anonymous Anonymous had this to say at 30 November, 2005 00:54
ah.first of all, yes it does suck to be in your position and nobody can convince you otherwise. i do empathize and will try anyways!

i think everyone goes through this whole comparing yourself to someone else. and it might seem like they have everything going for them but y'know what... to other people, and i'm so serious about this, there always is someone that puts you in the position you're putting that person. the whole grass is greener thing y'know? the world is screwed, we all want what we don't have. don't being the operative word by the way, not can't. you're probably meant for other things.

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