Saturday, October 28, 2006 | 17:55
middle of nowhere
Saturday afternoons are the worst possible times to want to get any studying or anything done for that matter. It's even worse when you had a few drinks the night before till late and woke up to a spicier than usual lunch, feeling bloated and fat, and not having the drive to work as you usually do before.

The evilness of procrastination is inevitable.

Anywho, Swotvac time has arrived with not much of an entrance. I still haven't finished all my revision for the three in a row tests that I have in ten days. The weather is driving me crazy with the day before being cold and just three days ago an insane sweltering temperature of nearly 30. Hence in other words, I'm screwed.

I still can hardly believe that the semester is over already. There are still exams and all but officially second semester is over. I'll be in my final year in uni next year already. Damn. Then it'll be time for graduation. Followed by another phase in life ie entering the dreary work force. I've heard that time passes by quickly but no one told me it was going to be this fast.

I still haven't caught up with getting over my post-adolescent slash mid-teen crisis yet. And here I am about to enter full adulthood. Or at least attempting to.

Not really much to update on since Muic Night. Except for maybe the Halloween party which wasn't particularly great but not bad either. Just some dancing and bar trying to get people to buy from them. Other than that, a few late nights playing card games and midnight birthday celebrations happening along the way.

It's less than another month until I'll be back home again. It's like on one hand I do want to go home, but on the other, I feel like I want to spend as much time as I can here. Maybe exploring the rest of Australia a bit more and visiting obscure places too. Perhaps next year. Hopefully I'll be able to return to Melbourne earlier as well to secure a place and get a casual part-time job as well. I am determined to work next year no matter what. I so need cash. It's not like I'm strapped down for cash but that I just don't want to depend so much on my parents for the cash flow to run smoothly. It's just an independency issue that I have to deal with by myself and that I really want to know if I can do the juggling of work and study. Even though I know for a fact that I'm not the smartest person here.

Well, it's back to work and Swotvac-ing. Think I'll be spending a lot of my time in the library cramming in nonsensical facts into my head.

This is me signing off till after my three in a row exams are done with.
Jill |

Friday, October 20, 2006 | 01:45
soul'd out
Music Night, life question ponderings, some apartments and soul searching, and a dash of alcohol and partying in the near future was the agenda for my week.

Just barely two hours and fresh from coming out from Music Night held in the dining hall, I have returned to tell tall tales about it. It was awesome. I won't bore you with an intricately woven description of the two hours and a half plus worth of performances for the night. Let's just say it consisted of several overly talented musicians doing amazing pieces on the piano, violin, guitar, bass, saxophone, and drums, some wooden music, lots of rapping, classical good stuff, a Japanese dance and song rendition, excellent and quirkily composed songs (including one about the recent Booze Cruise), beautiful and original renditions (oxymoron!) of old and new songs, and a Faye Wong song performance thrown in for good measure as well.

Wish IH could actually have a music performance night once a month for us students to relax and chill. I still come out amazed at the abundance of musical talents that IH houses which they are ever ready to give us a taste of it and allow us to soak it up. Praise be lavished upon them all and they should all just have a one night IH concert for not just IH-ers to attend but for all to experience their musical talent and share in all its glory.

Alright enough of gloating about Music Night.

There's going to be a Halloween party on this Saturday night as well so should be fun when the ghouls, banshees and zombies come out then. Oh and not forgetting the people who're coming in costumes as well. Hopefully I can get some pictures up then too.

Contemplating on my subject selections for next year is a bigger issue than I thought it would have been. I thought it would be simple enough to just check out what are the interesting subjects that are open to me next year, confirm that I've met the prerequisites or corequisites, and simply enrol myself before I get fined for late enrolment. Then suddenly I had had to just have to start thinking about my future and all that jazz. Questions started to flow and ebb.

Do I really want to do accounting? Should I switch from a single degree course to a double degree one? Do I really want to commit myself to another two more years of uni life and studying on top of my third year in commerce? Should I consider switching specialisations? Is it too late? Perhaps I should have done a different course? What would my life be now if I did walk the road not taken? Would I still be here typing this out? Would I actually be a different person as a whole new set of experiences and people would have shaped me otherwise? What are my career options if I took this or that subjects?

And this is just the condensed version, omitting some others, of the questions that have been going through my mind in just this short span of few days.

Sometimes I think I think too much for my own good. Spontaniety and impulsive decision-making can be a good thing too.

On top of it all finals are coming up which I am not prepared for at all. I need all the luck I can get.

The apartment hunting is still an ongoing process. Think the house mates situation thing has been more or less settled but still unconfirmed at this moment pending the searching results for affordable and reasonable looking places to stay in next year. But this unresolved issue can be laid aside for the moment until after the 17th.

Have you ever felt like you're living in a fish bowl? Where everyone is observing your every move and you yourself can see that they are as well. Maybe it's just the paranoia creeping up on me for some obscure reason or other. It's not that I feel scrutinised for every move I make or step I take or that someone knows where I am at every moment of the day. It's just the thought that an outsider or even someone close to you knows what is going on in your life which you thought was private. It might have been your fault in the first place for not keeping them out from knowing a little bit too much insider information but where else can one vent, spill their guts, explore new feelings and meaning, and have a constructive outlet for friends and family to get a semblance of what's going on in one's life without letting them in too much inside the room.

The fine line of private versus public is difficult to tread and often times is blurred. I don't want to put the blame directly on visitors who sometimes acknowledge little notes I mention because it really isn't their fault. I'm just feeling ambivalent about where this blog is going and how I want to approach it in the near future. I do want to tell little things that I ordinarily won't say out but if it gets out then where do I go and what do I do about it?

Just some more questions being thrown about in this here old blog o' mine.
Jill |

Sunday, October 15, 2006 | 16:29
vexed in mind, body and soul
My day started out unusually early with waking up at 7 and then immediately getting into Ekiden at 8 after a quick breakie. What is Ekiden you ask? It's basically a marathon relay race which originated from Japan and was brought over to IH a few years back by a few Japanese girls to begin an annual tradition of running for friendship.

There were approximately around 40 runners and powerwalkers involved in it starting from IH till St. Kilda beach with the option of doing 5, 10 or 20 km according to your preference or stamina if you like. I did the first 5 km leg from IH till La Trobe Street in the city but involved taking a longer route through Grattan Street and passing REB. The run basically consisted of a group of five to six runners at each of the eight legs in total. It was fun, exhausting and a good experience to go for even though I was easily outrun by the more seasoned runners who jogs daily at Princes Park.

Emo rant on the way soon. Be warned.

So finished my run half an hour later and returned to IH at around quarter past nine where I didn't return to sleep which I should've gotten now that I've thought of it in hindsight. An hour and half later my self help duty beckoned and it was another 3 hours before I got to rest my weary body again. And all this before 2!

If this keeps up I'll collapse before I even get to step into the REB next month for my first exam. DFO shopping was not as satisfying as I thought it could've been but I still got six pieces of clothing nonetheless and spent under $35 in total. Retail therapy is still the best kind of therapy any person will need in their lifetime.

The weather is cooling down once again and I am not missing the hot streak at all. Blame the cold-blooded creature in me for not abling to withstand the heat and perspiring part that comes with it.

With the passing of the Valedictory Dinner last Thursday, I began to form my own reflections on IH and all the events and goings-on and drama that ensued during the time that I've been here so far. In less than one year even. Can you imagine the emotional drama and trauma that I would have to endure if I stayed on next year. Not a pretty sight to behold or think even.

From some midly intense drama tango-ing, untangling muddled and confused feelings, getting embroiled in a little IH political controversy, several unpleasant criminal intentions bubbling at the surface and even a small fire, all add up to a rather eventful, interesting and memorable year in IH. It's like a condensed version of being a senior in a US high school, except without the typical bitchings and promiscious behaviour. Oh wait, I take it back. IH does resemble the typical US high school experience except with a lot of Malaysian flavour added to it and set in an Australian environment.

From O-Week (sleepless nights and endless fun), IH Ball (hook-ups and cam-whoring), Booze Cruise (as the name implies; passing out, puking over the boat, and "happy" people), SWOTVAC (the tutorial rooms still have a lingering post-exam smell), Cafe International, Dutch and Jamaican National Nights (weed and prostitutes aplenty), IH Play, Commencement and Winter Dinners, Valedictory Dinner, and a multitude of other IH events and activities to be cherished during my time here. Then there're of course the sports events that play a big part in college life, from footy (which I "played" in two games), soccer (guys team came in 2nd), badminton (trumped Trinity to become intercollegiate champions), volleyball (won it as well), rowing (did quite dismally attributed to the tiny Asian syndrome), and the recently completed Ekiden.

Inevitably all this will end all too soon for me. There's a bitter-sweetness attached to this leaving business but I really hope this will be for the better at least. Not the best as nothing is ever perfect. I can't believe that I'll be leaving this place in about month plus time. I know that I can always come back for a visit but how often can that be. Most ex-IH-ers have moved on with their non-IH life and are getting involved in other stuff notwithstanding their previous dedication and contribution to IH.

I guess the thing that I have difficulty most separating myself away from IH is the people that I've grown to become attached to and develop a different kind of closeness that cannot possibly be replicated anywhere else. The college experience has allowed me to see the world in a whole new perspective yet able to retain my own self; attitude, behaviour and all. Not many people would have the opportunity to live in a college environment where dining with hundred plus people, living with hundred plus people, and having your life literally exposed and sometimes scrutinised by hundred plus people have become the norm and is accepted willfuly by everyone. Being surrounded by different types of people from various backgrounds, ethnicities, and culture on a daily basis is also a challenge but an enjoyable and often enriching reality to remember and cherish. People that I initially had reservations towards to but then became some of my closest friends here, friends whom I thought were but revealed themselves differently in layers, and settling in comfortably with a select group of people but not limiting myself exclusively from others as well.

With the closing of one door, a window opens; so goes the old saying. Perhaps living independently from IH instead of being surrounded in the comfort of being provided your meals and not having to do dishes or clean the bathroom will be a new and fresh experience to chalk up in my precious memory life bank.

Anyway, the last general meeting (GM) is on tonight with the highlight being O-week auditions. Should be fun and an interesting night for all who attend despite its lateness in timing and sometimes distractions culminating in delays and nonsense ramblings occuring.

Good day and good night.
Jill |

Friday, October 13, 2006 | 23:35
wisdom within
I've been experiencing some sort of sleep disorder pattern for the past few days. I always seem to wake up just half an hour before my alarm is set to go off. If it was set to 8.30 I'd be awake by 8 and then I'd just fall back asleep only to be awaken by my alarm. The same thing happens for when I'm supposed to wake up at seven past but I jolt out of slumber by 7. It's a really strange phenomenon. I don't quite get it myself but maybe it's got something to do with the weather or just some deep thought stuck at the back of my mind.

It was almost 30 degrees today but better with breezes the whole day unlike yesterday where we were practically sweltering and dying for a cold long drink the whole time. The Valedictory dinner at night just made it worse as the dining hall was like an oven and with us dressed to the nines in pressed shirt and tie for the guys and slightly more than usual bare skins exposed for the ladies.

The event was fun. One of the more fun IH events of the year thus far. It was a celebration of the IH-ers who entered their third year of university this year and acknowledge the more outstanding IH contributors. Emotions was running high on some of the valedicts' parts while others were just a bit too tipsy and drunk on wine before even the main course was served. Reflections; funny and tear-jerking, accidental name slip-ups, and nonsensical ramblings were all on the agenda for the night. There were even musical performances or two to complement the dinner along with a video montage to honour and cherish all the good times we had in IH. Well, not us freshers but mostly the seniors but we get to reap in the atmosphere as well. Ended with a bang of champagne popping and dancing to our O-week theme songs in the middle of the dining hall while the kitchen staff tried in vain to get us to vacate the place as it went a bit too late into the night.

Too bad I won't be able to valedict next year as I am moving out. Been checking out some places listed online and will be scouting the nicer looking ones soon on future weekend outings. Hopefully. What with the whole examinations approaching and all. Oh, the awfulness of it all.

Just realised that it Friday the 13th today way too late into the day. But somehow no one else seemed to notice it or they've forgotten the creepy notion or symbolism of the day is or maybe we've just outgrown the superstitious stuff a long time ago.

In any case there'll still be a Halloween party to look forward to despite the depressing gloom of exams foreboding upon us all.

And can you believe it, I'm actually waking up earlier than usual to go duty free shopping in this warehouse place in the outskirts of the city tomorrow morning. The things one would do for cheap shopping bargains here.
Jill |

Wednesday, October 11, 2006 | 21:15
zzz-less
At 2 am this morning after I had just drifted off to dreamless slumber an hour ago, the fire alarm went off blaring away.

It was apparently set off by a small fire in a rubbish bin in one of the bathrooms in the Clunies building.

I somehow managed to drag myself out from bed, grabbed my key, forgot to put on a jacket and aimlessly lumbered alongside the rest of the bleary-eyed residents to the designated evacuation site.

It was cold. And I picked the absolute wrong night to wear pyjama shorts to bed.
I thought it was another fire drill that I had somehow forgot about but in two or three minutes of standing out in the cold openness after and seeing three fire trucks and a police car trailing behind not long later arrive, I convinced myself that it was the real thing.

Not exactly the best timing for a fire starter but no one ever plans these things right.

Back to OB and deciding on what to wear for Valedictory dinner tomorrow.
Jill |

Tuesday, October 10, 2006 | 22:35
sappy tall tale
There's my last group and final assignment for the semester that I really should be attempting to finish by tonight but here I am still.

Procrastination is the virtue that will end us all.

My slow and naggy monster of a portable computer aka notebook aka laptop just went through a half hour virus cleaning session and is all well again. It actually seems to function just a tenth faster than it did before the decontamination process. I'm glad.

The semester is about to come to another close. Hard to believe that it's already the end of the year and I'm still recovering a bit from the post trauma shock of arriving in Melbourne earlier this year in February and experiencing a whole lot of new things and events and people in such a short frame of time.

I don't want to leave IH just yet. Yeah. I'm moving out. Out of IH. Into total independency life for once. Fending for myself in the cold, cruel and costly world of rent, utility bills, eating out, homemade cooked food and shared accomodation. Just as long as I get my own room and a kitchen for me to experiment and play with, I'll have it made. More updates regarding the moving out situation in the future.

Valedictory dinner is on Thursday, Ekiden on Sunday, followed by Sports dinner on Tuesday and Music Night on Thursday too. Which just leaves Halloween as IH's official last event of the year before we all depart for the break.

I won't be interning at the end of the year but I do hope to get a part-time job earning crap money for the duration of my holiday back home after holidaying in Europe for the earlier part of December. Looking towards more of waitressing, barrister-ing or retailing. I don't really hope much about pay as anything home has to offer, anywhere in Aus will top it twice over. I just need something to do to fill my time instead of myself bumming around and getting fat for that three months summer break.

Finals are happening in less than a month time. What am I still doing here? Avast ye blogging bug of terror and procrastination horror!

Anyway, this blog will probably be on hiatus for a month or so before I return to revive it after my exams are done with by the middle of next month. Or maybe not as I really want to report on the goings-on in my last few weeks in IH.

I'm going to miss this place. And I haven't even left yet.
Jill |

Monday, October 02, 2006 | 12:12
jet, set, go
Time simply passes by too quickly for any individual to even capture the moment of when time flew by where we were just a second or two steps behind to realise it.

It's the beginning of the end of the last stretch of the year before the next three months summer break back home and maybe abroad. Back to the grindstone before the next month of SWOTVAC and exams hitting back at us again. Everything is really flying by way too fast. I still haven't properly settled back into my old routine from last semester of making hot chocolate and coffee at odd hours at night and or burrying my head in some well needed attention deficit studying materials.

Gold Coast and Brisbane was great. Spent four nights and three days in total. Awesome. Together with three other good friends and meeting old faces and new ones there as well. Fun. I want to return to Surfers Paradise and sun bathe again. Sun, deep blue sea, soft pearly sand, and better company. Movie World was fun and cool and all I got from it was a blue Superman emblem t-shirt, an empty purse, and lots of heart-stopping moments. Went to most all the rides except for the Batman Motion Master one which was apparently not that great so not a loss. But I wouldn't change a thing about it. Dream World involved quite a bit of fun as well but maybe we were just too saturated from Movie World the day before to appreciate the best we could. Rode more rides and snapped more pictures along the way as well. The trip was overall a fun ride and more and I'd love to go on another one again. Maybe a road trip to the outback or some other state next year.

I have just realised how much cash I've been withdrawing from this two weeks break. The shopping bug has to be ostracised from my body before my bank balance goes into a negative figure if that can even happen. Filled with a lot of impulse buys and emotionally geared shopping trips, I'm just going to land myself into a hole pretty soon if I don't take control.

Back on the topic of exams and pressure; my exam schedule is pretty screwy as I've got three days in a row of exams followed by the last one taking place on the last day of the second to last week of the exam period. In short, it means that I get to go home earlier than expected. Hoorah. Not so hoorah over the three days straight exams though. Argh.

There're two more assignments to go before I can really set my arse down to seriously studying. The weather is becoming a bit more tolerable now with the average temperature hovering round 16 degrees. I can sometimes walk out with just a tank top but it might be a bit risky considering how volatile Melbourne weather can be a bitch.

Will have to be deciding on whether I want to continue staying in IH next year. I probably will if I do get to move into Avenue Apartments with CK&V. But then again there's the brother issue thing to take into consideration about. Decisions, decisions, decisions. If there's a thing I'd like most in the world right now is a decision-making robot or machine thing for myself to own and keep so that my mind would be free from all these conflicting thought processes.

Hola for now.
Jill |

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