Friday, September 30, 2005 | 01:38
rush of sighs to the mouth
Today's post is merely to notify people that my absence is not a cause for concern. I've just been out of action for a while due to trying to work off some of the flab I accumulated over the past weeks and watching several shows to pass the time.

I never really liked Russel Crowe before and not any more now even after 'Cinderella Man'. Though I do think it was a good show and I very nearly almost shed a tear towards the end which I shamefully admit to. Damn. I hate shows that make me want to cry or eventually do. It shows off that sympathetic and soft sides of me that I try so hard to hide. It's really not very appealing. I'm just not that type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve. It's embarrassing. To me, that is. Other people may be brave enough to do that but not me. Anyway, the show, right. It was a good watch and fortunately not as dull and boring as the last Crowe movie I dreadfully watched.

On another note, the trio of girls that are Sharon, Pui Yen and I met up for a round of mad and loud karaoke session this afternoon. My throat wasn't as sore as the last time I went there but it was no less fun. We should definitely get a much larger group of people to go with the next time.

Semester three will be beginning in ten days time from tomorrow. I'm actually getting rather worried and anxious over the pending results. It's the ultimatum moment of truth of whether I can flee the country like a wanted criminal or remain here like a criminal under house arrest. It sounds drastically dire but that's the best analogy I can come up with without sounding too desperate. I hope I'm not the only one feeling this way. I need assurance that some people also share the same feelings as I do.

Time for some well deserved rest and relaxation. Will return in the near (hopefully) future to pen down more thoughts of mine.
Jill |

Saturday, September 24, 2005 | 23:51
seven sins
Another boring night so upon discovering that two people tagged me again with this thing to do, I decided to do it. And I'm just rediscovering the fun that can be RPG when you need to while the time away when waiting to chauffeur others around.


Things to do before you die:
  • Write a book. Or a novella, whichever comes first.
  • Own a beach front home.
  • Be the owner of a power-house advertising and publishing agency.
  • Change at least ten persons' lives for the better.
  • Stamp my influence on the world in any way possible.
  • Donate my life savings to charity or leave it in my will.
  • Make poverty history, eliminate world hunger, develop the cure for the common cold, and create world peace. (Well, a girl can hope.)

Often repeated words:
  • Damn.
  • Eeps.
  • Shit.
  • Whatever.
  • Yep.
  • Anyways.
  • Yeah.

Physical traits you look for in the opposite sex:
  • Taller than me.
  • Nice and soft looking eyes.
  • Great looking and feeling hair.
  • Dirty blonde hair or dark coloured hair.
  • Not too muscly but has a regularly toned body.
  • (Depends) Pierced ear.
  • Not too hairy.

Traits in the opposite sex you find attractive:
  • Mildly but not overly sensitive.
  • Must love book stores as much as me.
  • Creative.
  • Smart. But not nerdy smart. Intellectual smart is cool.
  • Slightly geeky in a video game/computer sort of way. But not too much either. Like me.
  • Interesting.
  • Quirky and witty funny. Not stupid or silly funny.

Celebrity crushes:
  • Viggo Mortensen
  • Orlando Bloom
  • Johnny Depp
  • Daniel Radcliffe
  • Eddie Cahill
  • Julian McMahon
  • Hugh Grant

Other people to be tagged:
I really don't know another seven other people who would want to do this but if you really want to but no one has tagged you yet, you're welcome to use my name as the tagger.
Jill |

Wednesday, September 21, 2005 | 21:13
heavenly descent
Up until today, the non-thinking and brain-deadness that is in my head has been nothing but it. Then, came 'Angels in America' and my brain started up again like being heated up on a cold winter's night and it actually functioned for the first time after a rather long break.

I never gave much thought or consideration over watching a mini-series, especially one by HBO, but this intrigued me partly because I knew absolutely nothing about it except that Al Pacino and Meryl Streep was in it and there was some evangelical theme to it. So, obviously I just threw myself into it and it was really very good. I definitely should have no preconception notions of anything I'm going to watch in the future.

What striked me first and foremost about it was the absolute rawness of it all. There was no fakeness surrounding the characters or setting or plot. Okay, maybe there was some surrealness about the plot but there's always a bit of fantasism in television and movies. It's the first time since probably 'Nip/Tuck' that I've experienced similar great acting and emotionally driven script-writing.

Actors playing several different roles in a show is no easy feat but they managed to pull that off really well and convincingly enough. The myriad of characters were portrayed fantastically and I love the fact that almost all of them were crazy and insane in their own ways. Prior and Harper have some of the best lines in the movie but not forgetting Belize too who epitomises almost everything a stereotyped gay is and that makes him so much fun to watch.

I'm going to have to return this loaned DVD set but if you get the opportunity to watch it, definitely do not miss it. A very deserving and almost but not quite ten.

Inspirational shows are often a dangerous thing.
I want to do stuff now. Stuff like walking aimlessly in a huge city park and talking about everything there is to talk and moan and complain about in the world. And to go frolick in the bitter coldness of Antarctica and meet an eskimo though I don't whether there are eskimos there. I also want to meet someone new or a stranger whom I can have a conversation with. Someone who has no preconceived perception of myself and I of him or her. Then we'd leave and act as though we'd never seen each other before but still know that we did and no one will ever know and it would be our little secret.

There's something bittersweet about being alone and not interacting with society except for the occasional meet-ups and things like that. It makes you think. Which sometimes isn't so good as your thoughts start to get muddled up and then you don't know what you believe anymore. And then you start getting ideas about leaving everything behind and starting afresh in a strange place where no one knows you. Next, you'll feel like your real life never really began. Not yet anyway. Like there's this barrier that you have to cross soon but you haven't gotten past it yet. And you just wish that the time will come just slightly sooner than you wish it had. Finally, you realize that there's nothing really much that you can do about it except to wait patiently for your number to be called so that your real life can begin already.

Sounds a bit too much like waiting hours at the bank to make a cash withdrawal or deposit. I really do have too much stuff in my head. If I don't empty at least half of the things in there soon, I'm pretty sure I'll start acting like Prior soon.
Jill |

Saturday, September 17, 2005 | 01:34
near perfection
My holidays have nearly almost reached that ideal stage. The list below illustrates what I've been basically up to.

Watching hours of television. Check.
Catching up on my reading. Check.
Getting back lost hours of sleep. Check.
Mindlessly surfing the internet. Check.
Experience the 'Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children' movie. Check.

So, yeah, it's basically all that and a bit more. I just need to roam around shopping complexes and malls without any real intention of buying anything to complete the bumming out experience totally.

I just returned from doing that last bit on the list. I'm feeling extremely bad for the first time for watching a movie that I did not pay for. Courtesy of the youngest brother, he managed to negotiate a full download of the said movie with English subtitles as well with his computer. And me being the impatient little imp that I can be most of the times, could not wait to watch it before I can properly procure it from a licensed dvd shop. Thus, I gave in to my original sin and it was unbelievable. The movie, I mean. I don't want to say much about it except that the main character never looked as hot as he did before this show and everything about it from the graphics to the music was simply put; beautiful. Actually, beautiful is an understatement. There're no words to describe it. My fangirlism is in overdrive mode now. I'm going to stop now or else there will be no turning back for me if I continue.

But of course, where there's the upswing, there'll be the downside to it. And this one definitely has its downs. For one, those who has never even heard or knew the existence of anything related to Final Fantasy will be completely lost throughout the entirety of the movie. I got confused during some parts too though I didn't exactly finish the game due to some technicalities concerning the game console but that isn't the point here. I suppose the sole purpose of even putting this movie in production is to satiate the appetites of FFVII fans the world over and to milk the franchise for all its worth. It's gratefully and thankfully better than the first so-called movie SE created. There wasn't really much plot development or characterisation and sometimes I actually felt that it was more of an extra-long movie extension from the game and not so much a sequel. But yes, overall, I'd give it a 7.5 out of 10 for mainly the graphics and fight sequences.

The job-hunting thing is not going well. At all. I think I've just about lost the will to get one now. Either on some other day I'll get up too late to go to the mall or when I do get up on time, something comes up and I can't go out in the end. Or I might just be making up excuses to not bust my ass. The laziness of me is slowing eating my brain away and depleting what's left of my body.

Just to end this post with a slightly more than my average flashiness, here are several links to some of my favourite Cloud fanarts featured exclusively on deviantArt.

Cloud fanart: #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5.
Jill |

Tuesday, September 13, 2005 | 18:22
jostled in hk
It's been a long week. A very tiring, exhausting, and mentally and physically energy-draining weekend.

There're actually quite a lot of things I had wanted to express myself in words that I had made up on the ride back home but I couldn't be bothered anymore when I reached the safety comforts of my beloved room. The initial unpacking ritual was enough to send me sceaming for the bed and leaving my body retiring peacefully to its immobile pre-HK state.

So, now that I'm all refreshed from a good night's sleep, I think I'm ready to tell all about the said trip.

First off, I'd like to say that I generally like airports. The inside of it actually and not the actual flight that takes place hereafter. And thank god to Cathay Pacific for providing decent movies and shows to keep the poor passengers entertained and fairly edible food that don't make me puke. If it weren't for 'Will & Grace' and 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants', I don't know what I'd be doing right now. Probably still trying to recuperate from the screaming and crying baby that was appropriately seated next to me with the pitiful mother trying to quiet it down. I think the rest of the passengers were just as annoyed as I was with its constant cries and whines. I never realized how fun and awesome Will & Grace was till I watched it for the first time on the plane. Gay people just make everything so much more entertaining and light-hearted, even in the most dire of situations. And go watch Sisterhood when the chance comes up. It's a really good and uplifting chick flick that actually left me feeling all fuzzy and warm inside.

Back to in HK. Mom and I got lost quite a fair bit because the signs and symbols just got lost in translation after a while even with the English there. There're just too many streets and roads and subways in HK. It's like a labyrinth of railways, roads, underground subways, and trains all mapped out for the veteran HK resident and designed to make the first-time travelers get as lost as possible without asking at least ten people for directions and where exactly are we. On the other hand, I really like the people because they don't have any inhibitions towards foreigners and they totally understand to not stare at people when they're eating. Too bad I can't say the same thing about home.

The shopping is the fun part. Well, actually for the most part. The Esprit stores are wonderful. Their clothes are wonderful. Even the sales people there are wonderful. They don't simply tag after you when you browse around the racks but stay a fairly good distance from you while you look through the clothes at your own pace. I never once felt hounded by any of the sales people there when I looked through the racks leisurely. The first store that I set my feet into was akin to stepping into Esprit heaven. If there ever is one. Everything was beautiful and I wanted to buy out every single piece of clothing there. Unfortunately, I don't have that kind of money or else I'd be shopping at LV or Coach. At least I did get something. A pair of jeans, a long sleeved shirt, a basic black tube top, and a button-down long sleeved shirt. Okay, maybe more than just something. They were pretty. I couldn't help it. I couldn't help myself. I was totally out of control. And I could've gotten a skirt too if it weren't for my mom stopping me. Damn, it was a nice skirt too. And there was a jacket too which was just so darn pretty. And a pair of corduroy pants which felt really good. I miss them already.

Besides, the Esprit shopping escapade, there was another long sleeved top and two baby tees that got involved with me too. There weren't any major sales going on and most of the clothes were all autumn seasoned clothing which involved a lot of jackets, boots, and long sleeved tops that were not appropriate clothing for our kind of weather. Shoes and bags were mostly out of the scope of shopping, partly due to the lack of sales of them. It was quite sad.

I have to say too that people there love the Japanese culture. A lot. Really, really a lot. Their fashion and food are probably the two most Japanese influenced and infused subculture. The food is probably the second best thing about HK. Love their vegetables, 'chee cheong fun' and 'tong sui'. I think I ate about twice as much as I eat at home and yet I still feel like I lost a bit of weight. All that walking from 10 am to 8 pm for two straight days must have paid off. If I had stayed on for the rest of the week, I think I could lose about ten pounds already. We should practise the HK diet and exercise regime more regularly. Eat as much as you want and walk daily for ten hours straight.

I think I should stop for now. This whole reminiscing of the trip has left me feeling tired again. Or maybe it's just lethargy settling in. In any case, so long for now and let the bumming out begin.
Jill |

Friday, September 09, 2005 | 02:01
ubiquitious self
Sometimes I feel all-knowing, and sometimes I don't. It's that normal? I certainly don't know but heck, if it feels alright, then it has to be. Right?

This isn't going anywhere. Anyway, I'm just excited about the trip just hours away. Exams are all and done with. Went to indulge in some sweet candy-licious movie with Charlie and Johnny. And of course, my two friends. It was so dark and fantastic and cruelly creepy. I love it. I have to watch it again. I wish we had Willy Wonka's Whipple Fudgemallow Delight chocolate here and all the other crazy and wonderful candy like Everlasting Gobstoppers, ice-cream that doesn't melt, and gum that blow up so big you wouldn't believe your eyes and breath. It didn't follow the book to the tee but it was great nonetheless. The added story to Wonka's background was a nice touch and Lee did a good job. Oompa-Loompas are cool. I want one. The songs were good but a touch annoying sometimes and I would never imagine them being sang like that. But I guess that's what you can expect with Tim Burton's unbridled scope of imagination for all things creative and wicked. The ending, or rather almost towards the ending, deviated slightly from the book and it almost made me shed a tear but I managed to hold it back. The part about family and all that jazz just shook me up a little. A tiny bit. The children were really mean and that's a good thing. Wouldn't want to meet any one of them but loved them.

Definitely a 8 out of 10. Recommended for arrogant and bratty children, spoiled soon-to-be-bitches, greedy kids, and anyone who basically loves chocolate and all that is glorious about candy.

I can't really think anymore. My head suddenly feels incredibly light and heavy at the same time. I had DQ Orange Julius Strawberried Treasure which was heaven and sour sweet bliss. I have to pack. The essentials I mean.

I'm going to have to eat my words about what I said on a previous occasion. Passing by some shops today, I realized that there are quite a number of businesses looking to hiring part-timers or full-timers. If prospects look good, I'd probably like to get a part-time job at a book store or something that doesn't require me to lift heavy boxes or scrubbing dirty dishes. But we'll see. I'd probably return to the mall after I get back and getting the rents' consents. They think that working for mediocre pay is not utilizing time efficiently. Like lounging around the house and not lifting my butt is any better use of my time.

I actually realized that I don't have anything in particular or specific that I want to get at HK but I'm sure I can find some when I get there. Oh, well, night for now and pray for me to get through the flight in the least painful way possible. I just hope I don't get seated next to some screaming kid or lady with wailing baby. So long for now.
Jill |

Thursday, September 01, 2005 | 18:05
leaving on a jet plane
Breaking news! After some deliberation and contemplation in my mother's part and quiet satisfaction on my part, we've decided and already booked two tickets to go on a Hong Kong shopping adventure. Hotel is already booked as well for the Friday a week from tomorrow. It's hopefully going to be four days and three nights of pure shopping bliss with no interruptions or disturbances from the two boys and my dad. I've always wanted to do something like this but never got the chance to but now that it's here, there's something for me to look forward to while I agonizingly wait for finals to be over. I'm starting to feel numb and void of any emotion whatsoever whenever I pick up a book and begin mugging. I'm actually terrified that when I finally sit down for the papers, my mind will go blank and I forget everything I've ever managed to study and stuff into my brain for the past few months. This has been so far the longest and most painful wait to sit for an exam I've had to experience since SPM. The pressure seems to be on even more than ever now that I really, really want to get into my university of choice.

On the one hand that I can be zealously studying and achingly wanting to go far, far away from this place, sometimes my mind will just switch itself off once in a blue moon and I vegetate at night. I could lie in bed for hours on end with my eyes closed but my mind would be like on constant insomniac mode except that my brain doesn't function. I'll slowly feel my body shutting itself down and I pretend that I can't feel any parts of my body so that I won't have the urge to get up and do something to snap myself out of this platonic state. And then I just fall asleep the next second and wake up in the morning feeling happy and calm as a clam as I do on any other normal day.

Confession time. Do you really think that I could survive this whole torturous week without a little bit of me-time and reading something other than the books? I didn't believe that myself. Reading 'Veronika Decides to Die' made me appreciate the fact that maybe we are all mad. Just in our own separate and indistinct ways. The mad do not always know that they're mad, if not never. So, whenever I go into my state of stoning and vegetating at night, I try to compensate that by telling myself that everyone is mad. Just that they don't realize it yet.

Well, this post really didn't have much purpose except to exploit the fact that I'll be going on a sweet but short vacation not too long more and to escape the monotony that is life, even for a little while. Yummy and glorious food and bargains and high fashion galore, here I come!
Jill |


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