Sunday, October 14, 2007 |
19:28
Feeling drained these past few days. I try to put on a brave face though. It hurts but I still try. Sometimes it gets too exhausting that I just want to cry. But I suck it up and continue with this facade.
I realise I shouldn't. But there's just this pride that I continuously face every day. It's nothing new. It's just me. It frustrates me all the time but I don't know what else I can do about it.
I should talk to someone about it but I don't know how. Don't get me started on how many people I know I can talk to. It's just that there's this invisible veil over me that I have yet to penetrate to allow me to do so.
So maybe my problem isn't so uncommon. I know that too. But sometimes I just want to say, so what? If I give my time to other people so much can't I have just ten minutes to myself some day? But I don't. I can't afford that.
There are some days that I feel tired. Just so tired. It feels like all the energy has been sapped from my body and I want to do nothing but stone in front of the mindless computer and watch a few shows. But nothing comes out of it. I know that too.
I seem to know a lot of things yet I don't.
Just last Thursday, I cried for almost ten minutes. It just happened in the night when I was doing some work and listening to some music in between. Every tear shed was like an ounce of my body being weathered away. It could be the resultant stress for so long that kept on piling up that eventually without warning, my body and soul couldn't take it anymore and decided to let the flood gates open. Blood shot eyes and battered soul, I just decided to call it a night and went to bed the earliest I went to in a long time.
Let the sleep rejuvenate me. Wash over me to prepare for a new dawn.
My body is being stubborn again. My soul wants to want out and reach for someone. I do too.
I just feel so drained. God, please reveal to me a saving grace and let me let out.
'tis just stress and loneliness and depression. you have the lonely uni student syndrome.
but like you mentioned, you also sometimes want 10 minutes just to yourself! know the feeling so very well. just make them coordinate eh. when you want time alone and when you feel lonely. cause then you feel awesome that you're spending time alone in your room, happy.
s'ry i haven't been blogging much. the stories keep piling up until i don't feel like talking anymore. but yeah, our apartment is in our grasp but keeps flitting away. it's quite depressing actually, to be so close yet so far. i do have an apartment now. i'm subletting a place in the city until the end of the month because i just couldn't take it. it's like a brief oasis. i get my own little room. it's kind of nice. a little bubble of denial. hee. but of course, still trying for the apt! will blog when i have the strength. but hey, you're all updated now. hahah. too lazy to write in my own.
on to more important things, i got rain boots! yayyyyy. they're the most awesome shoes in the world to have. get some!
hi..
:)
then have time out!! :D you don't need to talk to anyone if you don't want to about anything... really... i'm quite a pro at doing that and having my own time out... hehehe... if you really need some time out, go shopping by yourself or have lunch by yourself... i do that quite often... peace and singleness is fun.. :)
oh.. it does help to tell people to fuck off... though i normally say it a little more diplomatic. hehehehehe... :) huggies... :D
sorry for the poor comprehension... i bumped my head really hard onto a fire hose box yesterday when at work... i haven't quite recovered. brain disorientated still.. serious... :(
hugs...
nicole. :)
Hey dear, i was feeling completely worn out last week as well; 2 assignments,2 days of work, everything just drove me mad! i guess its the last sem for us so all the more we wanna focus and do well but of coz, the mind's not quite there yet.lol..i dont talk bout it too. just felt tired, so tired.. if last year, i would've gone for a jog but this year, too unfit, too lazy sooo just took a long hot shower, do a foot scrub, a facial mask, etc...lol..and a good sleep, it helps :) we gotta catch up soon. we'll survive ! hugs*
erm...damn it's me, erm...veronica,v, veron,huaiyi? lol..wat do u call me nowadays?
hey girl =)
cheer up! life's like that sometimes. you know me, i am very emotional. so everytime i feel down or whatsoever i just let it out. i find that it helps! then i munch on chocolate bars or the next day i go shopping. does not heal me 100% but definitely helps. or just lock yourself away from everyone else. do what you like. walk naked in the room (i do that). LOL. anyway, *hugs*
Give your piece of mind |
Go back to main
had this to say at 16 October, 2007 12:46
but like you mentioned, you also sometimes want 10 minutes just to yourself! know the feeling so very well. just make them coordinate eh. when you want time alone and when you feel lonely. cause then you feel awesome that you're spending time alone in your room, happy.
s'ry i haven't been blogging much. the stories keep piling up until i don't feel like talking anymore. but yeah, our apartment is in our grasp but keeps flitting away. it's quite depressing actually, to be so close yet so far. i do have an apartment now. i'm subletting a place in the city until the end of the month because i just couldn't take it. it's like a brief oasis. i get my own little room. it's kind of nice. a little bubble of denial. hee. but of course, still trying for the apt! will blog when i have the strength. but hey, you're all updated now. hahah. too lazy to write in my own.
on to more important things, i got rain boots! yayyyyy. they're the most awesome shoes in the world to have. get some!