The Misanthropic Misadventures of an Idealist

Wednesday, December 07, 2005 | 21:52

of cookies and choices

If someone were to have seen me this afternoon, they would not have thought that I was near exhaustion and almost fatigued both mentally and physically this morning. It was the final day of the gruelling third semester this year and to get it over with so desperately would be an understatement. I could hardly concentrate last night thanks to growing anticaption over what was install for me in the next few days.

So after rushing through the last paper literally as my hands were shaking as my pen sped throughout the three hours doing four essays with no time to spare to stop and think, I came back home to feverously and excitedly as a little school girl, bake up a batch of cliched chocolate chip cookies. The last time I tried baking them they turned out quite burned and not very edible looking, appearance and taste-wise as well.

This time I think I got it mostly quite right except that it didn't turn out the way I would have liked it, which is the yummy chewy and gooey type. It was the typical crunchy type of cookies as cookies are. I would love to have gotten the type of texture that Partridge's cookies taste like. So sinful yet delectable. Anyway, I am pretty proud of this batch despite it not looking anything like Famous Amos' cookies and anyone who would like a taste of it can come by my house to get it. There're macadamia nuts in them too and the cookie dough was just heavenly chocolatey and sweet. I could have easily eaten the cookie dough itself up myself if it wasn't for my wanting to bake them. The family's response was rather good but when I expressed my liking towards chewy cookies, they just thought I was rather nutty. Oh well.

Alright, even with my finals way past my mind now, there's a bit of a dilemma that cropped up just today. To others it may seem like an obvious solution and decision but my mind is just kind of split in two now with the obviousness and logical side of it winning it out against the less assertive dreamer and idealistic point of view. My mom has been happily telling anyone who would care to listen, which actually just includes my close relatives, that I've been accepted to Melbourne. Not that it's a bad thing but that I think I should have been a little more excited in my response to their congratulations and grateful for them wanting to help me out when I go there. I just basically smiled sheepishly and said, "Yeah, that's great," and went on to the next subject. One side of me wants to eagerly accept their praise and all that jazz while the other desperately wants to say that I might not accept it and am waiting for Sydney. I just didn't want to sort of disappoint them by saying that I don't really want to go to Melbourne and intended to go to Sydney but now am slightly deviating towards it. This is because Sydney now wants my third semester results before I'm offered a firm offer, which won't be out anytime soon I expect till next year. And Melbourne's unconditional offer only extends to January 10th 2006 which I will have to accept soon or not I won't have a good chance of actually go down under at all. Two friends of differing sides are trying to persuade me to go either way which I hate to choose from and ultimately disappoint one of them. I have yet to accept Melbourne's offer but I think my mom is hinting to me to accept it as soon as possible so that the future arrangements can be made such as visa, lodging, and the like. It kind of helps that she definitely prefers me going to Melbourne as she seems to love that city. My dad's reaction so far has been rather indifferent. That's what I like about him I suppose. He just kind of lets me do my own thing and make my own decisions rather than egging me on to a one-sided choice. I think he's just pleased that I get to go overseas in the end no matter which university I go to. The two brothers have been less than responsive except for the older one who's delighted that the Kelisa will be sold soon and gets to take over the wheels of the CRV which I've been hogging since last year.

So, where to now? Time will only tell. Hopefully not for long so that I can stop worrying and fussying over this and start fussying over what I'll be doing next. Updates will hopefully be more optimistic than today.

The packing for China begins today. Next item on my to-do list includes stocking up on new reading materials for next year, CNY shopping, and bumming around with the occasional catch-ups with long-unseen friends.

Jill |

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