The Misanthropic Misadventures of an Idealist

Friday, October 20, 2006 | 01:45

soul'd out

Music Night, life question ponderings, some apartments and soul searching, and a dash of alcohol and partying in the near future was the agenda for my week.

Just barely two hours and fresh from coming out from Music Night held in the dining hall, I have returned to tell tall tales about it. It was awesome. I won't bore you with an intricately woven description of the two hours and a half plus worth of performances for the night. Let's just say it consisted of several overly talented musicians doing amazing pieces on the piano, violin, guitar, bass, saxophone, and drums, some wooden music, lots of rapping, classical good stuff, a Japanese dance and song rendition, excellent and quirkily composed songs (including one about the recent Booze Cruise), beautiful and original renditions (oxymoron!) of old and new songs, and a Faye Wong song performance thrown in for good measure as well.

Wish IH could actually have a music performance night once a month for us students to relax and chill. I still come out amazed at the abundance of musical talents that IH houses which they are ever ready to give us a taste of it and allow us to soak it up. Praise be lavished upon them all and they should all just have a one night IH concert for not just IH-ers to attend but for all to experience their musical talent and share in all its glory.

Alright enough of gloating about Music Night.

There's going to be a Halloween party on this Saturday night as well so should be fun when the ghouls, banshees and zombies come out then. Oh and not forgetting the people who're coming in costumes as well. Hopefully I can get some pictures up then too.

Contemplating on my subject selections for next year is a bigger issue than I thought it would have been. I thought it would be simple enough to just check out what are the interesting subjects that are open to me next year, confirm that I've met the prerequisites or corequisites, and simply enrol myself before I get fined for late enrolment. Then suddenly I had had to just have to start thinking about my future and all that jazz. Questions started to flow and ebb.

Do I really want to do accounting? Should I switch from a single degree course to a double degree one? Do I really want to commit myself to another two more years of uni life and studying on top of my third year in commerce? Should I consider switching specialisations? Is it too late? Perhaps I should have done a different course? What would my life be now if I did walk the road not taken? Would I still be here typing this out? Would I actually be a different person as a whole new set of experiences and people would have shaped me otherwise? What are my career options if I took this or that subjects?

And this is just the condensed version, omitting some others, of the questions that have been going through my mind in just this short span of few days.

Sometimes I think I think too much for my own good. Spontaniety and impulsive decision-making can be a good thing too.

On top of it all finals are coming up which I am not prepared for at all. I need all the luck I can get.

The apartment hunting is still an ongoing process. Think the house mates situation thing has been more or less settled but still unconfirmed at this moment pending the searching results for affordable and reasonable looking places to stay in next year. But this unresolved issue can be laid aside for the moment until after the 17th.

Have you ever felt like you're living in a fish bowl? Where everyone is observing your every move and you yourself can see that they are as well. Maybe it's just the paranoia creeping up on me for some obscure reason or other. It's not that I feel scrutinised for every move I make or step I take or that someone knows where I am at every moment of the day. It's just the thought that an outsider or even someone close to you knows what is going on in your life which you thought was private. It might have been your fault in the first place for not keeping them out from knowing a little bit too much insider information but where else can one vent, spill their guts, explore new feelings and meaning, and have a constructive outlet for friends and family to get a semblance of what's going on in one's life without letting them in too much inside the room.

The fine line of private versus public is difficult to tread and often times is blurred. I don't want to put the blame directly on visitors who sometimes acknowledge little notes I mention because it really isn't their fault. I'm just feeling ambivalent about where this blog is going and how I want to approach it in the near future. I do want to tell little things that I ordinarily won't say out but if it gets out then where do I go and what do I do about it?

Just some more questions being thrown about in this here old blog o' mine.

Jill |

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