Breaking news! After some deliberation and contemplation in my mother's part and quiet satisfaction on my part, we've decided and already booked two tickets to go on a Hong Kong shopping adventure. Hotel is already booked as well for the Friday a week from tomorrow. It's hopefully going to be four days and three nights of pure shopping bliss with no interruptions or disturbances from the two boys and my dad. I've always wanted to do something like this but never got the chance to but now that it's here, there's something for me to look forward to while I agonizingly wait for finals to be over. I'm starting to feel numb and void of any emotion whatsoever whenever I pick up a book and begin mugging. I'm actually terrified that when I finally sit down for the papers, my mind will go blank and I forget everything I've ever managed to study and stuff into my brain for the past few months. This has been so far the longest and most painful wait to sit for an exam I've had to experience since SPM. The pressure seems to be on even more than ever now that I really, really want to get into my university of choice.
On the one hand that I can be zealously studying and achingly wanting to go far, far away from this place, sometimes my mind will just switch itself off once in a blue moon and I vegetate at night. I could lie in bed for hours on end with my eyes closed but my mind would be like on constant insomniac mode except that my brain doesn't function. I'll slowly feel my body shutting itself down and I pretend that I can't feel any parts of my body so that I won't have the urge to get up and do something to snap myself out of this platonic state. And then I just fall asleep the next second and wake up in the morning feeling happy and calm as a clam as I do on any other normal day.
Confession time. Do you really think that I could survive this whole torturous week without a little bit of me-time and reading something other than the books? I didn't believe that myself. Reading 'Veronika Decides to Die' made me appreciate the fact that maybe we are all mad. Just in our own separate and indistinct ways. The mad do not always know that they're mad, if not never. So, whenever I go into my state of stoning and vegetating at night, I try to compensate that by telling myself that everyone is mad. Just that they don't realize it yet.
Well, this post really didn't have much purpose except to exploit the fact that I'll be going on a sweet but short vacation not too long more and to escape the monotony that is life, even for a little while. Yummy and glorious food and bargains and high fashion galore, here I come!
