Saturday, December 31, 2005 | 00:43
hopeful resignations
Alright wow. Two thousand and five is ending and a new year cometh. How soon the year has passed with its share of joys, tears, jeers, and laughter. It's exactly one year ago when I made a similar post like this then. I was such a novice blogger then. Oh, how I've aged and matured into the amateurish but slightly more experienced blogger that I am today. Multiple sighs.

It's a jumble of mixed feelings as I don't know whether to feel sad, happy, glad, angry, confused, calm, or joyous with the ending of another year. I mean it's just another year, right? How different can the next one be? I guess I've never really gotten the hand of celebrating the ushering of a new year just right yet. It's always been rather quiet around the house as my parents are hardly the partying or even going-out types. I don't really have anything specific to feel sad about apart from the passing of my grandmother early this year. I guess I am feeling peevish and angry over the results of Business Law and Management in which I scraped only Credits for both subjects. I am so wishing that I did better for Business Law but I guess it was not meant to be. The Distinction just slipped through my fingers like that. And so did a potential scholarship at Melbourne too if I had only managed to keep my CGPA up at a minimal 6.0 to be considered in the running of scholarship acceptees. Now, with that extra Credit instead of a
Distinction, my CGPA is slightly lower than 6.0. Nonetheless, just feeling and being glad that I did not fail Management like a recent nightmare of mine predicted. Well, not to be too greedy but the grades are provisional results which are subject to change and if it does, here's hoping that the CRs change to DIs.

The planning and thinking and deliberating are not going too well. But at least some things are confirmed already. Like the departure date to Melbourne which is on the 20th of February; eight days after my birthday. Woohoo. The COE, which is something like a confirmation receipt of my enrolment at Melbourne, has not been issued and should be by next week. I hope. Without it I can't do most of the things I need to get done desperately like the renewal of my passport, (to get a 50% discount off the RM300 renewal fee) which coincides with getting the student visa done, (at an astronomical fee of AUD$420) medical, getting the student rate for the airfare ticket, and finally, finalising my ISIC. Whew. This is my life. And at the same time, I have to wait for an offe
r in mid to the end of January to stay at the International House which is not even probable yet. If I can't stay there, I'd have to wait some more till another residential college has a place open for me. Waiting and more patient waiting except that I'm getting increasingly impatient with waiting anymore. If I miraculously get it all done before CNY, it'll be too soon.

The check list is not good as well. I just realized how unprepared I am. The limit on my baggages is now 30kg with the additional 10kg because I booked the airline tickets through the MSL travel agency but it's still not enough to pack my whole room together with me. The clothes themselves will take up 90% of my bag. When the time comes for me to really pack, I think I'll go insane. My mind is already spinning over how I'm ever going to pack it all in and carry them by little ol' myself. But then again, my mom wants and stresses that she comes with me to help me out and visit her alma mater that is La Trobe University somewhere near Melbourne too. At least I get to put some of my own stuff in her bag then. I suppose that is the best thing about her coming along or not I'd just be totally weighed down again by her constant reminders and naggings over what I should and should not do.

Wishful thinking is next. Every year at this time, I'd have a whole list of things that I would wish for and things that I'd want to do and hope that I managed to get it done with. However, somehow I don't feel the need to this time round. Resolutions shouldn't be made at the end of a year only to be broken in less than two weeks. Promises can be made any time of the year and be kept all the time no matter where and when you are. I suppose that's going to be sole resolution for 2006. Just to be the best person that I can be and make it out alive unscathed. Oh, and not to complain so much that I give myself headaches sometimes.

All I know is that next year and the next are probably going to be the next to most interesting years of my little life so far. Should I cry with joy over it? Or shall I pen down a novella about my feelings over the pending future? The expressing of feelings has not made a big impact on me as much as I'd like it to but I guess it's a good thing as well. I wouldn't want people to see me blubber like a school girl on her first day without her parents. That would be too embarrassing. I think it's more like that there are just too many feelings and thoughts raging and going on inside me now that they all try to get out through my mouth at the same time but get stuck half way out so that nothing intellectually or emotionally stimulating can make its way through at all. It's a weird theory but it works.

Reflections and revelations abound aside from wishful thoughts and meanderings. Here is my list of the best ofs' and worst ofs' 2005:

Best Buy: Black video iPod
Highs and Lows: My weight
Worst News: A death of a family member
Number of Books read: Between 30 to 35
Tastiest food baked: Almond butter cookies (Baked 27/12/05)

Disaster of the year: Banana coffee 'soggy' muffins
Crappiest news: A fail for Marketing only to be upgraded to a Credit
Person other than me to be bestowed with congratulatory news: My dad

So, how's 2005 been to you? Ready for 2006? I don't know if I am but when I do find out whether I am or not, it'll be one hell of a ride. That's one thing I'm certain of.
Jill |

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