Most people know that I'm not one to trash talk or gossip or just plain blank gripe about someone to others. But I've had it. Today was the absolute limit that I could take it. With regards to the title of this post, I think you will know who I'm referring to without having to name names. We shall refer to this said person with the initial M from this point on.
Why does M have to always treat me everyday like a walking and talking scolding post? Like my only reason for my existence in M's pitiful life is to provide someone to scold at because M can't vent frustration at anyone else except me because I'm the same sex as M. If she weren't M, I'd most definitely be hating M even more than I do right now. That sounded totally abstract but I'm hoping people will get my meaning. What I meant was that if M was anyone else like say, someone my age, I'd most likely be the person backstabbing and gossiping about M every chance I get just to get back at M for all the mean stuff M's said and fought with me. I try to be as nice as I can possibly tolerate to M but she just doesn't seem to get it or simply wants me to hate M more. I honestly now cannot wait to get away from M for the next ten months after February. Then M will have to find someone else to torture with the scathing and rude remarks about everything we do. The whole situation is only made worse that I still have to live in this crap hole till I get to fly away finally. Not only that the torture will still continue in Oz as well as M's going with me too for one week. Like I don't get enough verbal bashings and fights here already. There're too many things that M's done to me or made me do which just got me into more trouble than I already was in.
Take today for instance. Thanks to M's poor memory and lack of common sense, she directed me to Terminal 3 instead of 2 to get my passport renewed where I spent nearly one hour just driving there and then backtracking to Terminal 2 where I finally got my number and waited there another two hours for my turn to hand over my old passport and the necessary documents. And M didn't even have the audacity to apologise for misleading me and sending me on a wild goose chase for a ghost building. If M was anyone else in the world, I would have blasted and screwed the person upside down so bad that there would be nothing left of him or her that could torment me anymore.
And that's not it either. There's just too much and too many situations in which I simply asked a simple and honest question and M retaliated with a snarl and a half hour lecture on everything else except the matter at hand. Just because you've had a bad day at work, someone's told you off, or embarrassed you, doesn't mean you have the bloody right to take it all out on your next of kin. What really pisses me off is that when M's ticked off about something, M'll find any excuse to tick me off as well just so M can feel better about M's self. Now you've had a glimpse into what a day in the life of me with M feels like. Welcome to hell.
There. I've said it. It's all out. I don't care, world. Think of me as a bad person, I don't give a fuck. This is the strongest I've ever felt before. If I didn't let it out now, the coroner'll find me lying on my room floor with my guts spilled out the following morning.
So, how was your day? And don't tell me about how your mother scolded you again for not checking the mailbox. I've had enough stories like that to last me a lifetime and a half.
apparently your comments are moderated now eh. anyways. yeah. cannot emphatize but can sympathize. hang in there. let it all out, keep it all in, do what you do to make it work. don't be angry afterwards either way.. i hate how this sounds like a cliched zen yoga class but once you've accepted it even as something you hate, at least it's a part of you and you accept it and it won't cause as much friction and hurt anymore. of course, it's hard to see when you're right up against it. probably when you've cooled down and made peace with it. g'luck anywhos eitherways. don't know when i'll be online. i'm kind of online sporadically but i'm usually online a lot. get on msn or something. or why not message me the next time you're online and i'll come find you.
had this to say at 12 January, 2006 07:53
